by: Dan Brownell

Reprinted by Destiny with permission

When you think of sex toys, what is the first thought that comes to mind? I'll bet most of you said "a vibrator". The thought that accompanied that was probably, "They're for women". Not so, a vibrator can be a man's sex toy also. It's not exclusive to women, and it's not exclusive to penetration. When a couple is making love, and playing with sex toys, the woman can share the pleasures of a vibrator. Gliding it along the man's genitals, the vibrations can be very stimulating. For the adventurous, anal stimulation with a vibrator can be quite pleasing also. Anal stimulation does not necessarily mean anal penetration.

Butt plugs are another sex toy designed for both men and women. These are designed for anal penetration, and recommended over the vibrator. It doesn't necessarily mean you are gay, if you enjoy anal pleasure/penetration. Straight men can enjoy anal penetration with these sex toys. A woman may enjoy using these on her partner. Letting him feel (sort of) what she she feels. If anal sex is in the couples repertoire, butt plugs are great toy to have in the "arsenal". Although you might not want to brag at the local watering hole about it.

Cock rings and sleeves are another type of sex toy for men. These are designed for the man, with the woman in mind. They are not only a "toy" but they also serve a purpose as well. For men suffering from erectile dysfunction, they can help to keep his penis erect. They will also help to prolong ejaculation. There are many types on the market, as the sex toy industry has grown vastly in modern times. You can get cock rings with mini vibrators attached, in strategic locations. These will stimulate a woman's clitoris, or anus, or even both at the same time. They also stimulate the man wearing the cock ring. Other rings are designed to position the mans genitals a certain way. Providing lift to the penis. Some will separate the mans testicles. Then there are rings that do both. Some women will find this both pleasing to the eyes, as well as getting physical pleasure. Women (and men) don't always communicate the little things that turn them on.

Sleeves are worn over the penis like a condom. They are made out of various materials, with various textures. You can get them in mild to wild form. The nice this about sleeves, they are inexpensive.

Penis extensions are another sex toy for men. They are not just the "small guy". No matter what you were endowed with, a penis extension can add a twist in your relationship. Your partner may have a fantasy about having a larger or different penis inside her. With a penis extension she can enjoy this, and still maintain a monogamous relationship. Penis extensions come in all shapes and sizes. They are made of different materials, with Cyberskin™ being the most realistic feeling.

For the solo man, there are masturbators and "love dolls". Masturbators are hand held (pun intended) toys. Designed to give the man using them a feeling of real vagina, mouth or anus. Depending on the shape/design of the particular toy. Some are very realistic feeling, made of Cyberskin™. Porn stars are marketing some of these. You can get them made of a mold from your favorite star's genitals. Love dolls have come a long way. They used to be just a blow-up "float" made to look like a girl. Now, you can get life sized dolls made of different materials. To give the look and feel of real person. Some have vibrating inserts, to add an even more realistic feeling. Again, the porn stars are capitalizing on the new materials, and making molds for these also.

Author Bio:

Dan Brownell is an affiliate of AdamEve.com  They provide safe, secure, and discreet shopping for adult products.

He also writes sexuality articles, sex toy reviews for Jennas Blog, and how-to articles for The Mobile Mechanic

He is the co-author of "Use Of Sex Toy While Driving, Not Safe"
http://www.jennastoydepot.blogspot.com
http://www.themobilemechanic.blogspot.com

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I was trying to find out how to find and work the prostate cuz that guy wants me to play with his while I give him head, and instead I found this really interesting article about anal sex and even though it refers mostly to gay men I can still understand it having participated in and thouroughly enjoyed anal sex. I wanted to share it with all of you because it covers more of the spiritual aspects of it which is one reason why I loved getting it from Andy. When he was telling me to relax and let it become one with me it made me feel a lot better to know that even though it meant nothing that he had a spiritual approach.

Anal Sex John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.   Anal sex is often seen as the definitive gay act. Sure, straight men have butts; but far fewer of them have explored this erogenous zone, and fewer still would admit it. Compared with heterosexual guys, gay men tend to be more familiar with their prostates. We are much more likely to associate this little gland with pleasure rather than embarrassment during physical exams. Some research suggests that our prostates are healthier, too.  Just the same, there is a certain sense of mystery about our sphincters. Unless you are seriously flexible, you’ve probably not seen this part of your body directly yourself.  Your partner or boyfriend or even a casual trick probably has a clearer picture of what you look like down there than you do yourself. (Hint:  buy a small mirror and enjoy the view.)  There are other reasons why butt holes are powerful, pleasurable and even mystical. The anal sphincter has lots of nerve endings capable of great delight when massaged or probed by someone who knows what he is doing. (Deeper inside, by the way, the nerve endings aren’t so well educated. Nerve endings in the rectum mostly signal “full” or “empty.”) And according to psychoanalytic theory, gaining control over this part of our bodies is the way young children begin mastering their environment -- by pleasing mom and dad at diaper-changing time. This little ring of muscle (two rings, actually) starts to take on a sense of importance about that time.   Some of us learn to hold these muscles very tight indeed. To call someone a “tight ass” is to call them stressed-out, rigid and controlling. One reason anal sex is so pleasurable is that it requires us to relax these overly-tight muscles. You can have the rest of your body relaxed and still have a tense sphincter. Relax the sphincter, though, and you’re not likely to find much physical tension anywhere else in the body.   Odd, then, that anal sex has often held a sense of the forbidden about it. Sexism and homophobia make anal sex a taboo in Western culture. Homophobes often misunderstand anal sex as somehow passive and “feminine.” This is ridiculous, of course. We all know lots of masculine men who prefer to be the receiver when it comes to fucking. And men who enjoy taking in their partner’s cock are often anything but passive!  Many gay men find the experience of anal sex has a spiritual component to it. If you think of sex as an exchange of energy, male sexual energy is typically hard, driving and forceful. (Think of ejaculation.) Taoists call this energy yang.   Anal sex is perhaps the primary way men can cultivate the corresponding energy, called yin. It is easy to misidentify yang as male energy and yin as female. This is sexist oversimplification. Yin is soft, yielding, receptive, enfolding. In our culture, these are attributes that don’t always come easily to men. Men who “bottom” in anal sex can be understood to be feeding their yin energy. Sex becomes a way of balancing energy and creating wholeness. Healthy anal sex is good for you.  If your ideas about anal sex don’t include concepts like softening and enveloping, it may be because most of us don’t know any better. Where did you learn about anal sex? Did it come up in sex ed classes in junior high? Not likely, I’m afraid. Did Dad talk with you about your butt hole when he talked about the birds and the bees? Probably one gay man in a thousand had a healthy conversation about anal sex with a parent or teacher. In addition, there is something of a prejudice against penetration among some gay men. And fantasies to the contrary, most men are not very skilled at helping inexperienced men learn to enjoy being entered.  Most of us learn about anal sex through either erotic videos or on-the-job training. The problem with this is that the teaching partner isn’t always patient or well informed. And porn flicks rarely include much in the way of foreplay, moving from kissing to penetration as quickly as possible. Written porn is even less helpful, usually implying that penetration hurts like hell at first, only to be transformed into horny delight as the thrusting continues. And your rectum doesn’t know or care whether it’s welcoming an average 5 ¼ inch penis or a 9 inch Goliath. The pleasure some men get from a large cock is likely to be psychological, unless that big fella is rubbing against the prostate.  There is a lot of misinformation out there. One recently published sex manual for gay men seems to suggest that if anal penetration is difficult, the partners involved should just keep at it; the muscles will fatigue and entry will be easier. Some men use drugs or numbing ointments to make penetration easier. These men are either trying too hard -- and likely to hurt themselves -- or they are learning to treat their bodies like machines. This is not a loving act. It is a form of violence against our own bodies. The truth is we cannot love our whole selves if we do not learn to love our holes.  Anal sex is too often portrayed as all about penetration, conquest and power. It’s too infrequently presented as about learning to savor the subtle sensations and mysteries of our bodies.  Next time, we’ll take a look at why some men find such an erotic charge around barebacking and what is sometimes called “transgressive sex.”   John R. Ballew, M.S., is a licensed professional counselor in private practice in Atlanta. He specializes in issues related to coming out, sexuality and relationships, spirituality and career. He can be reached via the web at www.bodymindsoul.org  or at (404) 874-8536.

© Copyright 2006  John R. Ballew, M.S.  All rights reserved.  Contact information.

http://www.bodymindsoul.org/Sex%20and%20sexuality/anal_sex.htm

"Ringing that Backdoor Bell

Notice I said 'ringing the bell,' not barging in. There are two reasons for that: First, you must go very slowly when entering the tightly sphinctered anus, and second, you don't really have to enter very far at all to get mutual enjoyment. While some couples definately get off with full penetration, most are happy enough in the 'foyer.'

The first inceh of the backdoor is the anus; after that, there's about 5 to 9 inches of rectum. Neither area normally stores fecal matter. However, it is true that you could encounter some residue. As a matter of policy, it's always wise to bathe well with soap and warm water beforehand, cleansing the outer area not only of 'matter' but potential smell. If you'd feel more comfortable being even more cautious, you can use a disposable enema kit sold in any drugstore. You can use plain water instead of the mix in the container.

The anus, unlike the vagina, has no natural lubricant, so you must supply some, anointing your fingers, penis, plug, vibrator, or whatever you use with a fairly generous amount. Water-based lubes- the same kind used for vaginal sex- are most often recommended, because they don't quickly break down latex condomes as oil-based lubes will. Some may prefer a silicone lubricant for a slipperier feel.

Also unlike the vagina, the anus does not open itself as sexual heat builds. You have to invite it, encourage it, nudge it to open. For shallow entrance, this can be done in a relatively short time by sliding around the rim, and in just a bit, with your fingers.

I think the best way to 'ring the backdoor bell' is to emply what's called a 'butt plug.' This is a bluntly pointed, smooth, and often flexible thingy that is slowly worked into the anus. Most are pretty thing and short (though some can be very long) and normally slip in easily. Most have a flared base so the plug can't get lost in dark deep space. The base is also a good place to put your thumb, and give a squirmy little massage to the target area.

One advantage of the butt plug as a beginning point is that it's psychologically easier to insert one than it is to insert a real live penis. Remember, we're in anal kindergarten. You might want to leave the plug in place all the time you're having another form of sex, or remove it.

If you want to try inserting the penis, it should be done carefully. In fact, it's best if the man places the head of his penis on her anus, and lets her move down or back onto it (depending on the position used) in her own sweet time. She may want to straddle him as he lies down, lie in front of him in the side-by-side position, or lean against the bed and let him stand behind her. Be aware that if a man has an orgasm while inside her, his hard thrusting can hurt!

Here's an important caution: Anything that touches the anus, even the perimeter, should never then touch the vagina, as a nasty urinary infection will probably result."

- Adventures in Sex: 365 Ways to Make Every Day & Night More Exciting by Mark Bricklin

In all honesty, my last boyfriend cummed in my ass god knows how many times and it was never a problem. It's pretty gross when it comes back out, though, and make sure to clean that up as much and as soon as possible because if you just let it sit you probably will get an infection. If your interested in more perspectives on anal sex, here's an article that I posted about the emotional side a while back. :)