Amazement @ MindSay

it is just near lunch time and so far:

1. I have made the dough for 4-5 loaves of stollen- it's rising now before shaping for the second rise.

2. I made my blonde roots strawberry blonde in my continued live as a redhead spree.

3. Trimmed my bangs and even blew my hair dry so it's straight as my sister in laws chest

4. took a delicious hot soak and then disinfected the whirlpool jets- I would have bought an air jet tub

5. packed a bunch of books I sold on ebay. Attachment, Separation and Loss by Bowlby

6. scotchguarded the red placemats before we use them for jim's birthday party

7. ordered a new neti pot for S.U.

8. blogged.

patting myself on the back now and have full self permission to be a slum slug. tonight we go neighborhood hopping to see christmas lights.

yesterday at 12:34 5-6-7 I gave a big shout. although you have to omit the zero from the 07, it sorta works.

But i vividly recall 12:34 5-6-78 because I was heading up to Estes Park with three professors:  quiet and amusing Yu (philosophy), unbearably handsome Whiteside (history) and  horny as hell West (pol. sci.) for a faculty/student retreat when I was a senior in college ata very nice women's college. the snow falling in the rockies stopped us north of Boulder Colorado and we wound up going back to Yu's large tudor house, popping popcorn  in the fireplace and drinking too much bourbon.  Ah those student days were fun.

I started college  as  biology major thinking I wanted to be a dentist.

By mid term I had switched to Botany as I had an astounding skill for plant classification. I was given the enormous honor of being awarded a field experience as a Frosh doing a survey of the plants at the Plains Conservation Center and my advisor, a wicked sadist of a woman, took me out there to show me the rattle snake sites and how thick  and high my leather boots would have to be so when the snakes struck at me I would not die. until then snakes were not my favorite animal but i did not dread them.

Within a month I was an Art History major because the same ability to visually discern and classify things made me an amazing art historian and I the only snakes I would meet in galleries were the human variety.  Eventually I graduated summa cum laude with a double major in art history and studio art and a significant minor in biology.  My specialty was European and American art from 1850 on... Ingres, Manet, Matisse, Warhol and Frankenthaler ...you've heard of them right?

and what did I do with that fine body of learning? Getting an undergraduate degree taught me how to live and maintain a life long love of beauty and harmony and color, be able to create an amazing garden of native plants AND look upon social groups with a raised and often whimsical eye.

Many many  years of graduate school later I become a psychotherapist for families, couples and children. I found that path through a desperate must take it job teaching kindergarten in a private school  after i finished school and had started a master's in Art History. This  quickly and emphatically led me to know that working with the souls of young people was the most immediate and satisfying work I could do AND I discovered yet another talent I was not aware of: the ability to establish rapport with even a wild child quickly and solidly and use that relationship to help us both be better people. 

Don't ever imagine that life is a straight line. It takes all sorts of curves and slides. sorta like that volkswagon skidding along the highway trying to head north in 1978. we arrived  safely, but not where we expected.

Now here on my day off & part of last night, this is what I had to work on ... I was completely shocked by the behavior of this individual. But then again ... I am starting to see that it's not uncommon for this group of individuals.
Consider this: Would you really shop in a store that they BELIEVE you like it TRASHED?

"On [removed], [removed] was asked if the bathrooms were done. The response was "I took out the trash." She was asked again to do clean the bathrooms while the paperwork was complete, so she was doing something. The response was "The morning shift is capable of doing it." [removed] was informed that she could clean the bathroom because by the time she was done with that the paperwork for the registers would be complete. [removed] then informed me ([removed]) that she would not do the bathrooms. I then restated the comment "You are refusing to clean the bathrooms. If you will get written up for refusing to do your job." She did not clean the bathrooms, & left them unclean.

The bathrooms was the last job of the night, but this type of behavior went on through-out the night. When told to clean all the end caps from a certain point on, by the registers, she failed to do that. She was told in several ways and even shown how to do this. When shown that we are attempting to organize the store, she stated that "customers like it unorganized." (There were customers standing there when this was said.) Prior to closing, she locked one of the doors to the store, stating it was "always done." When told to unlock it, it was stated "this is always done." This type of behavior is unacceptable for any associate that works with [removed], especially when there are customers in the store.

 In the future, it would be more appropriate for [removed] to be trained to close. She should begin recovery 2 hours prior to closing. Her attitude towards customers is poor, they are to be treated with the upmost respect. We are here to ensure that they are able to find what they are looking for, & we are also here to ensure that the store is basically organized. For this to happen, [removed] needs to ensure that she is completely trained to the standards of the company. She also needs to works on customers relations."

In complete reality, we all must know that you are PAID to do a job. If you aren't capable of doing it ... then find one that is more suitable for you. Or you can adapt to it ... that's the two options you have. You cannot sit  on your lazy butt expection to have everything just give to you.
I am simply just ill from the lack of incentive this "team" has ... because in truth, they have none. They refuse to organized. They will not recover -- make the store look nice & organized. They will not do much of anything but slide by.

5 Positive Things:

* Not only did I get those taxes done ... they are coming in!

* One of my son's is reading "Flags of Our Fathers"

* Another is reading "Zodiac"

* Another is reading "Ghost Rider"

* I am jumping all over because it above their "reading level" & they UNDERSTAND those books!!!!!

Okay, I'll give you the background story, after Ali got her hymen removed (it was a HUGE blockage of tissue), she decided to go out and have sex with a guy who used to be a manwhore, literally, that was a stupid decision and she knows it. 

But then two days ago she had sex with one of her guy friends, I don't know if it was a one night stand or what, but last night when she came over to Cal's and my apartment where Kellin stays, she started to get extremely interested in him.  We all got to some drinkees, but not too many drinkees, but loose lips happen.... 

All of us including Ali, whom I didn't know was staying the night, but when we were sitting around watching the big screen, she and Kellin went out for a few smokes, and went to get her some smokes, and she and him had a lot of alone time together, though only for a few minutes at a time, but I could see they were getting really attached to eachother.

So that night, Ali decides that she wants to sleep over, and I could see them getting ancy, so I coerced Cal into going into the bedroom so we could leave them alone, for whatever reason they wanted.

Cal and I wake up to the sound of Kellin calling from his cell phone to Cal's cell phone, saying for us to get up.  I wake up first, putting on my clothes and heading outside the bedroom to pee.  Ali walks to the bathroom also, clothed only in the comforter I had put out on the futon!  She drops the comforter and runs in with me in the bathroom with her sack of clothes in hand.

I just look at her amazedly, my face asking the question for me.  "I can't believe I did it again!  I don't want to be a whore!"  She says in an exclaiming whisper.

I raise my eyebrows.  "Really?" I say, feinting disbelief.  When she comes out naked, you know something went on.  But I know she likes him a lot now, and I know that he's very good for her, I hope that more comes of this than just sex :D

I've been happy all day though, I'm not sure why...maybe because I think I can ground her to be a one man girl?  I think she's really just trying to find herself, after a guy attempted to rape her (waaay before)..I don't know why she's being so promiscuous, but like I say, I hope that she and Kellin stay together, I think it would be awesome!

Stay tuned for:

Another day in the life of Amanda!

i'm here at hsu now. i've officially moved in and yeah...i'm in college. it's so strange. now that i'm here, i don't want to be here, but i don't want to be home either, and the only reason i don't want to be here is because i don't want to do work. i should start unpacking now, too. oh, also, me and brian have been doing some brother/sister bonding, which is a bit unfortunate cuz i'm leaving now. he heard me have a small tiff with Nam this morning and when we were in the car on the way to lunch after i had everything with school taken care of, he handed me his C.D. player and said, "I dedicate this song to you." That was sweet enough as it was, but as soon as i heard the opening notes to the song i had to do my damnedest not to cry. Here's the lyrics for you all:

"Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright).

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the
ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything
(everything) will be alright (alright)."

Jimmy Eat World- "The Middle"

That song has always made me think of me but now that some one has actually dedicated it to me, it means a lot more and all the words seem to aply to me that much more, too. I'm so worried about Brian, too. i hope that everything will work out for him and that he'll be ok. I guess that's it for now. Heart broken over being single.