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Epic Lulz
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lol.

didn't make but still lulzy

taken from

Encyclopedia Dramatica
 
 
   
 

Have You Ever Read ... ?

This is a relatively clean version of one of these songs which appeared in The Book of American Negro Folklore (1958). I don't know if any of you have had the pleasure ot this tale, but ... enjoy! 

 

 

The Signifying Monkey

The Monkey and the Lion
Got to talking one day.
Monkey looked down and said, Lion,
I hear you’s king in every way.
But I know someone
Who do not think that is true—
He told me he could whip
The living daylights out of you.
Lion said, Who?
Monkey said, Lion,
He talked about your mama
And talked about your grandma, too,
And I’m too polite to tell you
What he said about you.
Lion said, Who said what? Who?
Monkey in the tree,
Lion on the ground.
Monkey kept on signifying
But he didn’t come down.
Monkey said, His name is Elephant—
He stone sure not your friend.
Lion said, He don’t need to be
Because today will be his end.
Lion took off through the jungle
Lickity-split,
Meaning to grab Elephant
And tear him bit by bit. Period!
He come across Elephant copping a righteous nod
Under a fine cool shady tree.
Lion said, You big old no-good so-and-so,
It’s either you or me.
Lion let out a solid roar
And bopped Elephant with his paw.
Elephant just took his trunk
And busted old Lion’s jaw.
Lion let out another roar,
Reared up six feet tall.
Elephant just kicked him in the belly
And laughed to see him drop and fall.
Lion rolled over,
Copped Elephant by the throat.
Elephant just shook him loose
And butted him like a goat,
Then he tromped him and he stomped him
Till the Lion yelled, Oh, no!
And it was near-night sunset
When Elephant let Lion go.
The signifying Monkey
Was still setting in his tree
When he looked down and saw the Lion.
Said, Why, Lion, who can that there be?
Lion said, It’s me.
Monkey rapped, Why, Lion,
You look more dead than alive!
Lion said, Monkey, I don’t want
To hear your jive-end jive.
Monkey just kept on signifying,
Lion, you for sure caught hell—
Mister Elephant’s done whipped you
To a fare-thee-well!
Why, Lion, you look like to me
You been to the precinct station
And had the third degree,
Else you look like
You been high on gage
And done got caught
In a monkey cage!
You ain’t no king to me.
Facts, I don’t think that you
Can even as much as roar—
And if you try I’m liable
To come down out of this tree and
Whip your tail some more.
The Monkey started laughing
And jumping up and down.
But he jumped so hard the limb broke
And he landed—bam!—on the ground.
When he went to run, his foot slipped
And he fell flat down.
Grrr-rrr-rr-r! The Lion was on him
With his front feet and his hind.
Monkey hollered, Ow!
I didn’t mean it, Mister Lion!
Lion said, You little flea-bag you!
Why I’ll eat you up alive.
I wouldn’t a-been in this fix a-tall
Wasn’t for your signifying jive.
Please, said Monkey, Mister Lion,
If you’ll just let me go,
I got something to tell you, please,
I think you ought to know.
Lion let the Monkey loose
To see what his tale could be—
And Monkey jumped right back on up
Into his tree.
What I was gonna tell you, said Monkey,
Is you square old so-and-so,
If you fool with me I’ll get
Elephant to whip your head some more.
Monkey, said the Lion,
Beat to his unbooted knees,
You and all your signifying children
Better stay up in them trees.
Which is why today
Monkey does his signifying
A-way-up out of the way.

Now there's another monkey I found nearby,

And this one was created by a tricky math guy!

The Multifpying Monkey

~ B

 
 
 

   
One of the last great appropriate Black role models.... Ed Bradley 1941- 2006

http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=2641304&page=1

 

I just read this and felt the need to post it. I've always admired Mr. Bradley for his indepth interview and the fact that he was always cool and composed. I mean, how many Black television Journalist have a career as long as his at a major network and still got to rock his earring? LoL.

 

Although, we are now in the 21st century, we Blacks do not have the positive role model images that our grandparents (in my case) assumed we'd have following the civil rights movement. The few we had in the 60s, 70s and 80s soon detriorated into what we see today on various covers of magazines, award shows, and stupid talk shows, not excluding Oprah. (Yes, I hate Oprah. How do you not give back to the city you were raised in. Milwaukee, WI, my hometown...but that's for another post). The Black community has very little positive role models in a time when parents are so consumed with staying above water financially, while also keeping up with the Jacksons (Yes, I meant Jackson instead of Jones....I know more Blacks with the surname of Jackson LoL) that they are desparately needed.

 

Even though, this guy didn't save lives, soul, or threw beaucoup backs to charity (as far as I know), it is a shame that few Black in my peer group will even know who this man was. In my opinion, he was the reason why I even watched 60 minutes any time my life. Why? Primarily, because he didn't do fluff journalism. His shit was hard hitting. Not the contrversial-for-the-ratings-Rivera-style of journalism, but "the this is some serious shit we all  should be concerned about" journalism". I can not remember ever reading, hearing, and/or seeing this man's associated with some bullshit. I do believe he won an lifetime achievement award from the NABJ (The National Association of Black Journalists: http://www.nabj.org/about/index.html ) last year, but of course you don't remember hearing about it because we we're too busy trying to figure out if Bobby & Whitney were cracked out and sticking to 'til death due us part'.

 
 
   
 

Rebels In New Haven Connecticut

 

Black People Need To Practice What They Preach and Teach. Why Not Treat These Rebel Teens The Same Way You Treated Black Vietnam Veterans After The War Was Declared Over. So You Don't Like My Ideals On Social Programs Because I Don't Have A Masters Degree: Family Intervention Program, Youth Leadership Program and Prison Program.

 

Don't You Know That The Youth In That Timeline 1974 Were Watching How You Treated Us!?. NOW! It's 2006 STOP! Discriminating Against Black Vietnam Veterans!. One Day Your Children Are Going To Rise Up and Rebel Against You!...That Time Has Come.

 Lying On Us, Scurging Us and Humiliating Us Will Heap Hot Coals On Your Head. Black Vietnam Veterans Did NOT! Start That War. President Johnson Started That War When He Signed The Gulf of Tomkin Resolution and The U.S. Congress STOPED! It In 1973.

The Black Youth, Teens and Young Males Under Age 30 Do NOT! Bring Drugs and Guns Into The State of Connecticut.

It Is The Black Educated Middle Classs Responsibility With I.Q.'s of 160+ plus To Create Possitive Meaningful Employment For Black People. It Is The Responsibility of The Black Middle Class To Create Possitive After School Enrichment Programs That Include Homework and NOT! Some Basketball For 3-4 Hours and When Their Finished They Are Drenched and Sweaty and Smell Bad.

 

Let's Look At This From A Accademic, Philosophical and Spiritual Point of View. If I Have A High School Diploma and My I.Q. Is (2) and I Can Create Curicular After School Programs and Abtain Federal Grants of $80,000.00 and $120,000.00 From The U.S. Federal Government For The West Haven Community House: Meadowbrook Housing Complex and The Black Educated Middle Class Whom Have I.Q.'s of 160+...Think What The [They] Can Do.

 
 
 

   
U.S. Cannot Walk Away From Africa, General in Charge of Ops on Continent Says

By Jim Garamone

 

WASHINGTON, Aug. 18, 2006 – The United States walks away from Africa at its own peril, the U.S. general in charge of military operations there said in an interview here yesterday.  Marine General James L. Jones, Supreme Allied Commander Europe and commander of U.S. European Command, said Africa is a reality that cannot be denied. The continent is potentially an economic giant, and the United States must engage on the continent.

 

With the exceptions of Egypt, Sudan, Kenya and the nations of the Horn of Africa, the entire continent is in U.S. European Command's area of responsibility.  Officials at U.S. European Command spend between 65 to 70 percent of their time on African issues, Jones said. "We have been at work with new friends and allies in the war on terrorism," he said.

 

Overall, the engagement strategy has been going well in North Africa and Sub-Saharan Africa, the general said. "Obviously (we're) very concerned about what is going on in the Gulf of Guinea, and we are setting up our operations so we can have presence with a purpose in the region," he said. "We must help Africans help themselves.”  The region is beset with difficulties, Jones said. Piracy and oil blackmail are concerns in the Gulf of Guinea. Tribalism threatens other nations in Sub-Saharan Africa. AIDS is epidemic in many African nations, and illiteracy is a curse across all nations there.

 

Africa is also has a fault line between Islam and other religions.  Engagement on the continent takes many forms. "As we speak, we have a ship, the USNS Apache, in Freetown, Liberia, to clear the port," Jones said. "There are a lot of sunken ships in the port, and it's a key to their economy."  In other nations, the command is helping where it can with small focus Special Forces training missions. The command sponsors medical and veterinary visits and staff exercises with militaries of the region. "Consistent engagement in Africa is key to containing or preventing future conflicts," Jones said.

 

Africa is replete with struggling democracies. "If you really look at what is happening in Africa, there are more countries moving towards democracy than moving away," Jones said. "But the battle is on as to which way they will go."  The United States and its allies must help bring economic change in Africa to bring hope to millions of people. If not, those people could be "sucked up in the recruiting of the Islamic jihadists," Jones said

 

Extremists prey on people with no hope. "It's not difficult for a jihadist with money to get someone to join them," Jones said. "The good news is we can still affect which way Africa goes."  Joint Task Force Horn of Africa is a great success story and something that could be emulated in other areas of the continent, Jones said. He suggested that a similar group working along the west coast of the continent could help bring stability to the region. "We could help considerably with presence and with helping these struggling countries that don't know what's going on inside their own borders," Jones said.

 

Establishing such a group could also send a message to U.S. companies "that investing in many parts of Africa is a good idea," the general said.  The United States has the opportunity to do the right thing in Africa, Jones said. "It's an exciting part of the world," he said. "We cannot walk away from Africa for a whole lot of reasons, including moral reasons. It's an area where we can highlight all of the good things that the United States stands for."

 
 
   
 

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