Addiction @ MindSay 
love
"Over a year without drugs and you made me turn back to them"
Ya right.
I don't care what 1 million pot smokers think. Marijuana is a drug!!!!!!
It makes you more susceptible to heart attacks, makes you loose coordination and have trouble with learning, can obstruct your airways etc etc. And He's been doing enough of it over the years for this shit to take place.
Ya, sure, you haven’t done cocaine and shit for over a year, but you shouldn't blame a bad relationship on YOU going out and buying illegal crap that’s going to put you even more into dept and depression. You started doing that shit in the first place because the only thing you ever want to do is look cool in front of your friends. Well guess what: YOU DON'T!!!!
A 19-year-old drug addict failing college and thousands of dollars in dept that hangs out with other stoners isn't something to impress people with. You are ruining your fucking life and many others around you. Within a couple years you’re probably going to drop out of college, and live in a crack house. Or dead. Unless SOMEBODY manages to throw an intervention. Pfft. As if you'll ever stop.
You had no reason to turn to drugs in the first place anyways. You're well put off in a nice home in a middle class family. Parents don't beat you; you have plenty of food and clean water, the privilege to go to school, etc etc. Underneath your "I don't give a fuck" and "lets always act pissed off" attitude you’re really just a crybaby with no real friends that does dumb shit to try and get attention. In fact, at family gatherings you try to impress your 17 and 14 year old cousins by telling them stories about doing cocaine and drinking compulsively. You think that’s cool? You think that’s GOOD!? YOU’RE GOING TO DIE A FUCKING YOUNG AGE!!!!!! Blame any shit you want. YOU'RE the one who decided to do that shit. Not a bad mark on a report card (you did that as well), not a bad relationship (you’re the one who kept crying back to her). You. Solely you. You're the one who went out and said "Humm…I would like one brick of cocaine please" then snorted it at a party in front of me. Not me. You want the bad relationships and bad marks and dept to stop depressing you? Change them. Don't act like you had such a terrible life that you need to cover up with pot. IF you DID have a terrible life, that’s your fucking fault, because you’ve had all the resources to have a great life. Everybody has hardships. You’re just being a pussy. And trust me, I don't say that about just anyone.
AND if you didn't want attention, you wouldn't have posted on the Internet that your back into drugs.
To those who know whom I'm talking about, I would be extremely grateful if you did not mention this blog to the person I am talking about. Of course posting personal shit over the Internet isn't a smart way to conceal thoughts about someone, but I can't speak like this in real life because I never get out the full story, I get interrupted, or I lose my train of thought. Of course I could write it down, but I chose here and I know the consequences of my actions. People could say I'M looking for attention. People could disagree with pot being a drug. People can be depressed over something similar that happened in their life. I'm ready for these comments. Really, all I'm looking to do is pour out my thoughts and look for conformation over my predictions of what may happen to this person, so I know that this really is as serious as I think it is.
-Kristal
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Dixie currently feels:
Neutral
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Blog #83
Meh, Saturday.
I woke up this morning with my arms around Shelly's neck again.
I love cuddling her when we're in bed together - it makes me feel so loved and secure.
Of course - cuddling leads to other things.
Lmao, we proper need to learn to keep our hands off each other.
At least it was only finger fun - 10 in the morning is too early to be eating muff for breakfast. :)
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Nana made pizza for lunch - but bodged them.
The first thing Shelly said was that they were undercooked. I wasn't overly arsed, so I just started eating this semi-frozen pizza.
I told Shelly to go ask nana to warm it up some more - but she was too scared to.
This really aggravated me at the time - to the point where I had to go and ask her.
I got so worked up, and so did she - up to where neither of us wanted to even eat them.
I only ate half of mine, Shelly only ate half of hers.
They ended up going to the seagulls outside.
Perhaps I can understand why she was afraid to ask - but it was a proper stupid thing for us to argue over.
This must be avoided in the future.
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Shelly was going to stay tonight as well - but her mam decided to be a slag and demand her home at 4:30.
So I was left by myself.
I just dissolved back into my Bully addiction.
My Wii play account says I've played it for almost 10 hours today.
I was playing it when Shelly was round. I was laid on her tummy. :)
I've started to blart her a lot now. Her tummy sounds a lot different to Ash's.
Ash tenses up when you do it to her though, so it's not as loud and blarty. :)
You can find more about him and his journey towards God here.
I would recommend watching this one first, and the other one, second. The first one focuses more on his life with the band Korn. The second one is more about his journey towards God.
So... Watch this one first. The other one second. :)
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Dixie currently feels:
Neutral
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Blog #78
New Addiction!
I sometimes say that there's no point in me going into college some days.
Well today, there REALLY wasn't.
I did originally plan to do some work on my sketchbook before my Media Studies lesson - but naturally, I couldn't be arsed.
I played a few rounds of Solitaire - then got REALLY bored, so I wandered into town.
Nana had won some money on the Irish lottery - so she gave me £10.
This, along with the money I didn't spend when I took the day off last Tuesday - I went into CEX.
I did originally plan to buy Resident Evil 4 - but they only had the Wii version, and I was a few quid short.
Then I thought I'd get Manhunt 2 - but I don't look 18. I doubt they'd have asked me for ID or anything, but I are not the risky sort.
Then my eyes fell upon Bully: Scholarship Edition.
A game I've always wanted, but never really thought about.
So I bought it. :)
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I went back to college EXACTLY on time for lesson - only to find it wasn't even on.
The only lesson I had wasn't even on.
Lewis was frustrated too - and he didn't want to even wait around a few more minutes to see if Sarah did turn up. So I walked him to the bus station. I went to Home Bargains and Greedy Joe's - picked up my lunch to take back with me.
Once back - I nommed on my chosen purchases, turned on my NEW PLAYLIST and did 3 hours solid work on my sketchbook.
I was starting to get really stressed out with it, see.
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I didn't originally plan to play Bully, as I still have lots of unfinished games without starting another one.
But I thought I would.
Jeez, was it a good decision to play it. :)
IT'S FUCKING LEGENDARY.
There's shitloads of controls to learn - so many different moves you can pull off. Tons of people to interact with - all of whom blurt out RANDOM SHIT when you go past them or interact with them.
"You're gonna be pissin' blood!"
"I think Ashley likes me... Does she wanna be my girlfriend?!"
"My butt itches..."
"Wanker! WANKER!!!"
"Eww! Like, who's boyfriend is THAT?"
Alright, I admit it's quite cheesy and American - but it has its moments of hilarity. The fact it's overly violent and contains shitloads of swearing pulls me away from the cringe factor. :)
Some parts are quite challenging too.
Oh, and I reckon it's gonna take me FOREVER to complete it.
To put it into perspective - I played it for 4 hours and I got 5.67%!
It's a game with a SHITLOAD to collect... I be going for 100%... Yes I am. :)
My favourite part so far has got to be using the Wii remote to dissect animals in Biology class - especially pulling out rat's testes with tweezers. :D
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Dixie currently feels:
Depressed
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Blog #37
Thirteen of Fine...
9:00 - 22:00
For these thirteen hours, I was fine. It was what happened after the hour of 10 that got me depressed.
I spent the day with Ian. I'd been looking forward to it for a few days.
Normally I don't get to spend much time with him because he's working or Sean takes it in his stride to come on over. He's not YOUR brother, Sean.
Though it fucking feels like they're blood related. Ian didn't take me to see Iron Maiden. Ian didn't take me to the WWE. Ian doesn't play football with me. Ian doesn't have me over at his house constantly.
We spent the day playing World Tour and GH3 - scraping together a few achievements as a duo.
My Expert skills caused much cash increase and someone to be impressed. There aren't many games that I can beat Ian at. There's a few, but he can beat me at more, usually.
He made us both double cheeseburgers for lunch - with edam cheese - *melts in lust*...
Then lmfao, he states: "Oh, there's a Snickers on top of the microwave for you."
Thinking back to the fucking mental dream, I had to try hard not to piss. :)
I'd never seen The Simpsons movie until today. Ian likes it more than I do - he's got all of the series boxsets on DVD. So we watched that and scoffed shitloads of bacon flavour Skips.
It's pretty good - nothing less than what I was expecting. :)
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Due to fucking boredom when I got home, I caved into desparation and created a new account on Neopets.
*Raises gun to head*
...Repeat after me Dixie...
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
YOU SHALL NOT GET ADDICTED TO NEOPETS AGAIN.
Either way, I've gotten a bronze trophy for Snow Wars and made about 10,000 neopoints playing my favourite games. I like the fact they've increased the amount of times you can send a score daily from 3 to 5.
I mainly played Meerca Chase, Destruct-O-Match, Extreme Potato Counter and Defender Trainer - my main favourites.
I've won a shitload of shitty snowballs from Snow Wars too.
I'm not sure on whether to donate them to greedy scroungers or sell them for peanuts.
I could do with some peanuts though. The Snickers was immensley enjoyable, but I couldn't get the image of Ashleigh out of my head - pmsl!
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Shelly rang me at about 8 - we talked for a while. She didn't upset me.
She never does - but that was just a comparison to a certain other phone call that did.
I was just playing another round of Snow Wars at about 10 when Adam rings me.
I knew he was at a party tonight - and I answered the phone to him being drunk.
He amused me at first, but when I heard how happy he was, how everyone else around him was enjoying themselves so much... Well, just got the craving to start cutting myself.
I'll never be invited to anybody's house party. I don't have the confidence to get drunk with people.
I never fucking enjoy myself, I never fucking will.
I don't even have anybody else to enjoy myself with.
But fucking believe me - I'd rather have nobody than have Emily. (And I don't have NOBODY.)
Thanks to quick realisation shortly after a long conversation with Shelly at the start of the week - all has become clear to me.
I'm better off without her.
I can do without cunts in my life.
Cunts who continually go out of their way to upset me.
I noticed a trend with how often I cut myself. I'd noted it down for a few years on a word document.
After I met Emily, it tripled.
Now Emily's gone - thank fuck - it's decreased to less than once a fortnight again.
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