Abuser @ MindSay 
These techniques are used by Advertisers, Marketers, Politicians, even Con Men and Success Seminar Gurus. We are exposed to it every day - so much so that we no longer see it.
Here's just a few of the clickable links we hope you read to learn more about the science of everyday seduction that's readily available on the internet:
NLP = NeuroLinguistic Programming
Review of The Art of Seduction
Influence at work -- Site that explains the different tools of influence and how they're used. Based on Cialdini's 7 Principles of influence.
Encyclopedia of NLP -- Defines key terms in NLP, a collection of psychological influence and therapeutic techniques.
Neurosemantics.com -- great online resource for NLP, state control and modelling.
How to Become an Irresistible and Hypnotic Communicator.
Cognitive Dissonance - A definition and how it works. (Something we all do everyday)
PICK UP MASTERY
Influence Women With the Power of a Cult Leader! - sound like a joke? Then why do all the cyberpaths sound so much ALIKE??
Seduce Women Using Seduction Techniques
Don Juan Discussion Forum Yes, you were right girls - they DO discuss how to do it!
Make Any Woman Sexually Addicted to You
Life of Brian Not only does he blog about it - he makes a living giving how to seminars.
Erotic Hypnosis & Hypno-Seduction - "The state of arousal is created to overcome resistance or, even better, to lead the victim of the seduction process to apparently take control of the situation, by performing the physical action ultimately desired by the seducer or the seductress."
The Sage of Seduction are we starting to get the picture here?
Conditions for mind control:
Psychologist Margaret Singer described in her book "Cults in our Midst" six conditions, which would, she says, create an atmosphere where thought reform (online predators 'groom' their prey using thought reform) is possible. Singer sees no need for physical coercion.
-- controlling a persons time and environment, leaving no time for thought (sweeping you off your feet??)
-- creating a sense of powerlessness, fear and dependency ("need")
-- manipulating rewards and punishments to suppress former social behavior ("if you... then I will")
-- manipulating rewards and punishments to elicit the desired behavior (disappearing offline without warning or when you have trouble and need them the most? all TALK no actions to back it up?)
-- creating a closed system of logic which makes dissenters feel as if something was wrong with them (making you feel guilty or that you don't 'love' or 'care for' them if you go against the cyberpath's wishes?)
-- keeping recruits unaware about any agenda to control or change them (comments like: "I would never hurt you, I would never lie to you, I can't believe you think I am lying/ using you...." etc)
(sounds like abuse..... doesn't it?)
"The descendants of Casanova of our time are called Ross Jeffries, Major Mark Cunningham, Rob Johnson and David De Angelo. They organize seminars and then sell audio- and videotapes on which their techniques for the allure and capture of worthy specimen of the female gender are taught. For our purposes, especially the material by Ross Jeffries is interesting, since his "Female Psychic Attack" - techniques often tap into the power of NLP for eliciting states of arousal. One of the techniques used by Jeffries for states elicitation is the use of metaphors to stimulate images of sexual nature by bypassing the filtering of the conscious mind. [...]Our Speed Seducer has developed hundreds of patterns like the one mentioned before, all ready to be used by his students. But these scripts are not the only interesting aspect of Ross' work: Weasel phrases like "if I were to say to you", for example, tend to introduce a daring compliment or proposal while contemporarily providing a step-back path. Ross provides his students with many of these conversational tools. [...] A folkloristic note about Mr. Speed Seduction: the guy interpreted in Magnolia by Tom Cruise is based on the character of Ross Jeffries, though you will find in that movie no valuable information in regard of his taught material and his seminars (as well as his behaviour on stage) are much different than the one seen in the movie, though he surely is proud of his masculinity. [...] - [quoted from: Keys To Erotic Hypnosis]
Just keep all this in mind when dealing with a cyberpath or anyone online. And realize that while we don't believe in or espouse not taking responsibility - but how can anyone be themselves or make informed decisions when they are being coercively controlled & manipulated? - Remember this next time you say "I was so stupid to fall for it" or wonder what red flags you missed or didn't see. Like slight of hand - these predators are good at getting you sucked in before you know what hit you. - Fighter
REPOSTED WITH PERMISSION FROM EOPC - OUR INSPIRATION
How do narcissists react to criticism?
Answer:
The narcissist is forever trapped in the unresolved conflicts of his childhood. This compels him to seek resolution by re-enacting these conflicts with significant others. But he is likely to do either of two:
- To "re-charge" the conflict "battery", or
- Re-enact the conflict with another.
The narcissist relates to his human environment through his unresolved conflicts. It is the energy of the tension thus created that sustains him.
The narcissist is a person driven by parlously imminent eruptions, by the unsettling prospect of losing his precarious balance. Being a narcissist is a tightrope act. The narcissist must remain alert and on-edge. Only in a constant state of active conflict does he attain the requisite levels of mental arousal.
This periodical interaction with the objects of his conflicts sustains the inner turmoil, keeps the narcissist on his toes, infuses him with the intoxicating feeling that he is alive.
The narcissist perceives every disagreement – let alone criticism – as nothing short of a threat.
He reacts defensively. He becomes indignant, aggressive and cold. He detaches emotionally for fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury. He devalues the person who made the disparaging remark.
By holding the critic in contempt, by diminishing the stature of the discordant conversant (the person who exposed or criticized him) – the narcissist minimises the impact of the disagreement or criticism on himself. This is a defence mechanism known as cognitive dissonance.
When confronting adversity fails, some narcissists resort to denial, which they apply to their "extensions" (family, business, workplace, friends) as well. (i.e. - "I didn't do it" or "it never happened" or "it didn't happen they way they said" etc...)
Take, for example, the narcissist’s family. "Not to wash the family's dirty linen in public" is a common exhortation. Same for their friends.
Criticising, disagreeing, or exposing these fiction and lies, penetrating the facade, are considered to be mortal sins. The sinner is immediately subjected to severe and constant emotional harassment, guilt and blame, and to abuse, including physical abuse.
Behaviour modification techniques are liberally used by the narcissist to ensure that the skeletons do stay in the cupboards.
Note - Narcissistic Rage:
Narcissistic rage is not a reaction to stress - it is a reaction to a perceived slight, insult, criticism, or disagreement.They try to sabotage and damage the work, reputation and or possessions of people whom they regard to be the sources of their mounting frustration.
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(more excerpts from another site:)
A victim is often the target of angry outbursts, sarcasm, or cool indifference. The abuser's reaction to these actions is frequently cloaked in a "What's wrong with you?" attitude. She is accused of "making a mountain out of a molehill." Over time she loses her balance and equilibrium and begins to wonder if she is the one who is crazy.
Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name- calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control her without her knowing.
Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling. Even disparaging comments may be voiced in an extremely sincere and concerned way. But the goal is to control and manipulate.
Verbal abuse is insidious. The partner's self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without her realizing it. She may consciously or unconsciously try to change her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.
Verbal abuse is not a side issue. It is the issue in the relationship. When a couple is having an argument about a real issue, the issue can be resolved. In a verbally abusive relationship, there is no specific conflict. The issue is , the abuse and this issue is not resolved. There is no closure.
Verbal abuse expresses a double message. There is incongruence between the way the abuser speaks and his real feelings. For example, he may sound very sincere and honest while he is telling his partner what is wrong with her.
Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms might surface.
This is the dominant response of the verbal abuser who sees others, including his partner as an adversary. He is constantly countering and correcting everything she says and does. Internally he may even be thinking, "How dare she have a different view!"
Countering is very destructive to a relationship because it prevents the partner from knowing what her mate thinks about anything. Sometimes the verbal abuser will cut off discussion in mid-sentence before she can finish her thought. In many ways, he cannot even allow her to have her own thoughts.
A third category of verbal abuse is discounting. This is like taking a one hundred-dollar item and reducing its price to one cent. Discounting denies the reality and experience of the partner and is extremely destructive. It can be a most insidious form of verbal abuse because it denies and distorts the partner's actual perception of the abuse.
Verbal abuse disguised as jokes. Although his comments may masquerade as humor, they cut the partner to the quick. The verbal jabs may be delivered crassly or with great skill, but they all have the same effect of diminishing the partner and throwing her off balance.
Blocking and diverting. The verbal abuser refuses to communicate, establishes what can be discussed, or withholds information. He can prevent any possibility of resolving conflicts by blocking and diverting.
Accusing and blaming is another form. A verbal abuser will accuse his partner of some wrongdoing or some breach of the basic agreement of the relationship. This has the effect of diverting the conversation and putting the other partner on the defensive.
Judging and criticizing. The verbal abuser may judge his partner, and then express his judgment in a critical way. If she objects, he may tell her that he is just pointing something out to be helpful, but in reality he is expressing his lack of acceptance of her.
Denial is the last category of verbal abuse. Although all forms of verbal abuse have serious consequences, denial can be very insidious because it denies the reality of the partner. In fact, a verbal abuser could read over this list of categories and insist that he is not abusive.
The Bible clearly warns us about the dangers of an angry man. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man." And Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up strife, and a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression."
It is not God's will for you (or your friends) to be in a verbally abusive relationship. Those angry and critical words will destroy your confidence and self-esteem.
Being submissive in a marriage relationship (Ephesians 5:22) does not mean allowing yourself to be verbally beaten by your partner. 1 Peter 3:1 does teach that wives, by being submissive to their husbands, may win them to Christ by their behavior. But it does not teach that they must allow themselves to be verbally or physically abused.
Has your abuser done any of these to you? Deny? Blame you? Twist the facts?
Tell TheExposer about it!
exposer@37.com
x-posted to THE EXPOSER
She keeps blaming everything on me, which I expected, as that is a trait of an abuser towards their victim. After what I went through, trust me - the world would be a much better place without people like her out in this universe. No, it's not a message of hatred - it's just the way I see it.
Dixie, I don't belong to you anymore. Just get over it and leave me alone. None of this would have happened if you didn't treat me the way you did; handled me the way you did.
Really. I keep wondering if I'll ever be sane again after what ensued with her in the past. I'm completely better without her, yes. But I will admit that I can't admit I'm fully happy.
I’m fine. Really. – That’s a lie I tell myself on a daily basis that is meant to be true. Or at least, it is meant – for about six hours a day, but only counting weekdays when I attend school.
It’s a simple concept to grasp. School is like an antidote I drown my pain in, or I numb it completely - and somehow, my mind does a clean wipe and my pain goes away, or at least it’s forgotten about when I am around the people I love. I mean love as in friendship, not in attraction or relation to relatives of my own. My friends that accept me, and take me as I am are seen, in my eyes, as something I wouldn’t be able to cope without. Without them… I don’t think I would serve a single purpose.
I tell my friends almost anything, and everything. With a friend of mine, we both desire and talk about finding “Mr. Right” someday. That’s another lie that I hide with a mask. Due to past experience, and threats from somebody in particular (it's Dixie, I'll reveal) saying that they would leave me if I ever got a boyfriend; I have come to believe that men are deceiving creatures, and I have grown afraid of them. I’ve made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t ever fall in love, for my own safety and protection – but yet, I still have a desire to marry a man. In the past, I have bumped into men online who have treated me merely as their little toy. Like I was some sort of game. They thought I was just for sex; serving very little to no value to them.
I don’t trust them; men. It’s all because of that single threat to betray me if I made certain choices that led me to this - to not be attracted to somebody. Our minds are very powerful, and the more I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t fall in love with anybody started coming to be. I wish I could love again. I want somebody to teach me to love again. But at the same time I debate the usefulness of it.
Come to think of it, it’s hard for anybody to gain my trust, nowadays. I view my trust as a spring – a beautiful spring, flowing with pure water, and anybody was free to drink from it. But now, my trust still is that same spring – only it’s been all dried up over the years. There remains nothing left of water due to everyone drinking more than they should, or they steal it for a cause that is unknown to me. Those who have drank from it are frantic and asking me how the water can be restored. I simply shake my head, and say without a hint of pity in my voice, “It can’t”. They stare back at me in desperation. They ask me again. And again, I shake my head, and my eyes are downcast.
“Sorry, but once you misuse my trust it can’t be regained. That was the choice you made.”
Some people, once I tell them this, become furious – and start spitting at me how I should have warned them. Warned them? Warned who? You? What, were they planning to misuse me anyway? Is that the point they’re trying to get across? You shouldn’t take somebody’s trust and break it – as, even with the most innocent and compassionate creatures, there are certain things that cannot be restored.
I do trust my friends, very much. But there’s always something I hide from them. Pain.
Although, most of my friends vent about what’s happening in their lives to me, and they talk about the pain that they are in, I choose to keep mine hidden. Not just from my friends, but from everybody. I don’t make it visible. I wear a mask; an invisible wall that nobody can climb over to peer into the very depths of what I’m experiencing deep down in the center of my inner core.
But what nobody knows is what goes on behind my bedroom door…
My bedroom is my little hideout. I like it in there, and it would be brought to perfection if it had a lock to the door. Over the course of the past two years, It has become my favourite place. In my bedroom, I used to cry, and I used to cut without anybody knowing. It’s a place where fragments from my past now haunt me whilst I’m there, but at the same time it’s where I can bring my world to a complete stop. I can be comfortable there, but for some reason I am not.
I am afraid of my own bed. When I crawl into the sheets, and pull the covers over my body, almost instantly, my past invades my head.
I often hear stories about teens committing suicide. I sometimes wish I could muster enough courage to throw those pills down my gullet, to tie the knot tighter to the rope…
There are times when my life when I grab a bottle of pills, stare at them, and then I finally put them back and shake my head. I often wonder why I am still here, or why I am as “perfect” as I am.
I have thought about continuing to commit the sin of self-injury. Not only did it feel okay at the time when I used to do it, but I will admit, I liked to stroke them when they would scab over. The rare time, I have debated on using drugs – or going anorexic. There was a time recently over the course of a month or two, when I would weigh myself, and cheer myself on when I would discover I lost a pound and went to a low number – such as 102, 101, or even in the super rare case, 100.
You may ask why I think about this, and I will tell you that it isn’t for attention – although that is what they all say. No, I wouldn’t take it up for attention – but I would take anything up just to admit that there is “something wrong with me”, and I would be admitted to talk to somebody.
“Why don’t you do that now?”
A very good question. The relationship with my parents isn’t the greatest, so I tend to just avoid them. I’m afraid of expressing myself in front of them, so I remain silent. I don’t open up to them. My mother knows about how I used to self-harm, and told me not to do it again. The only reason I obeyed was because I didn’t want her scolding me again. I can’t remember the last time I opened myself up to my mother, and I know that it won’t come soon.
Generally, there isn’t anybody I can completely open up to when I want to talk about how my life is going. I tell most of it, but I hide really important parts for fear that I may be judged, or I won’t ever be talked to again. I drown myself in my past. I want to run from it. But I can’t, it’s bound me by its chains.
Age: 43-44
British Citizen but possesses an Indiana Drivers License. CHECK HIM OUT ON INDIANA'S MOST WANTED
ONLINE ACTIVITIES: Gary usually hangs out on Pogo and other multi player card and cribbage type sites and meets people there.
This British man is currently known to be in the Montreal, Canada area. (as of Nov. 2008)
He has an expired U.S. visitor's visa from 5 years ago. He is a compulsive liar (possible Psychopath) and trolls for women in the online dating and other sites. He speaks with a British accent.
He has a warrants for domestic abuse, identity theft and is being looked for in Illinois, Indiana, Arizona and Europe as well.
Gary is a bigamist with a wife in Germany, a wife in England, and who knows how many in the United States. He is a Contract Tile and Granite floor type worker.
Because of his theft of one of his victim's Social Security number, he was able to get contract jobs laying tile.
Within 2 months of meeting a woman in Arizona, he had asked her to marry him, persuaded her to buy him a truck and then he went off to Vegas with stolen credit cards he applied for online in her name, and gambled a hefty 10 grand worth of money away. As well as purchasing a 2000 bracelet for another woman while in Vegas.
He has tons of tattoos over his whole body, has very rotten teeth and he is great at telling lies!
Gary has caused so much trouble. One victim is now fighting with the I.R.S. over income he made using her Social Security number. He also is very violent and controlling. He likes to say he was in the S.A.S. (special forces in Britain) and tells stories of killing an Irish Man and jumping from planes as a parachute person.
He can be charming as hell and can tell lies with the best of them. People all over the States have small claim suits against him for tile and granite jobs he was paid on that weren't completed.
He likes Ford Mustangs, the Taz cartoon Character, playing games online, Iron Maiden (he also says he was a body guard for the lead singer at one time) he drinks, smokes, and is horrible in bed.
Please help spread the word on this sociopath. He is ruining lives across North America and needs to be stopped!
Submitted by one of our readers
A predator/ narcissist is complicated but simultaneously transparent when confronted with exposure of their motives.
They are always about the next fix, so if a situation becomes difficult and they find that it is not making them feel good they will blame shift and start looking for the next target. They will never admit and are incapable of realizing that 110% they did it to themselves!
Next time they will be more careful not to get caught or figured out. And the next target gets to be on the receiving end of the heightened game.
But what if they have been EXPOSED?
The script has to change now. What does that mean?
Effort. Now they have to work harder to keep up the lie. Reputation, ego, image, humiliation. Now their avenues for prey have been depleted downward.
Now the blame shifting has become their only weapon. Make it the other person's fault, but don't stop there. Do it up big. Make themselves the victim . Turn it around and play the "poor me" card.
Always notice that at no point do they think about who they hurt, stop to feel bad about the pain they caused someone else or see that they need to STOP and realize that if it has gotten this bad, it is time to reevaluate themselves and get help. No, narcissists are incapable of this moment of self awareness.
Even though its time to wake up and THINK!
But this doesn't happen because in their eyes they are superior to everyone. Oh, they may apologize to the wife/husband/partner - but those they preyed on? Well its THEIR fault isn't it?
Then they keep finding outlets, ways to escape reality.
Being Exposed is an Intervention. Our Intervention for them. And they will only see it as a full frontal attack.
The way they respond confirms the truth that's exposed all by itself.
(here's a perfect example of how one exposed predator responded to their intervention)
x-posted to THE EXPOSER
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