Abuse @ MindSay

The Following is a Reply to a Woman Suffering Greatly Upon Leaving A 23 Year Marriage

 

Where I am is not heaven; surely far from it.  Still, here in Qingdao, on the coast of China I am separate from an abusive situation which I, like you, could no longer tolerate and had to get out of. Again, like you I guess, I found that to continue just existing in the morass of insanity was intolerable. I had to get out. I had to escape.

 

No longer could I bear the pathological lying, the cheating and theft of liberty by fudking retrograde politicians of all stripes but, by far certainly, most certainly  mainly by Republicans back home in AUSPONA [The USA].

 

Now, in the face of having to return there, I too feel empty, I too cry. I suffer nauseating angst and fear at the prospect of returning home to Tecumseh, Michigan, AUSPONA. Depression, which I suffered when back there, left me alone here for most of the three years I have been away.

 

Somewhat beside myself as to how to cope or deal with my return, my return has been put off again. Originally I tried to return at the end of May. Then it was for the first of July. Then it was to be the end of August. Now I will attempt to return before October. Recent thoughts of suicide dictate that this latest postponement be made.   - David

Today was supposed to be amazing. I was so confident and ready to get my road test done and hear that I could get an official junior driver's license.

...

None of it happened today. All because I refused to take out my piercings, my step dad made a big deal about it and started yelling at me. I didn't even yell back, I just wanted to go but he kept complaining and started to yell. So I just say, "I'll get mom to take me." He gets fucking pissed, and so I just walk to my room and he chases me down the hall way and tells me how stupid and what a piece of shit I am.
"You can ask  your mom to take you but I won't give her the fucking insurance card."
He acts like nothing hurt my self esteem, or that taking my drivers test was something I really wanted to do. I was so anxious and excited to get it.

So he leaves me alone for a while, and mom comes home. It saved me a bit because she doesn't usually get home until four and my test was supposed to be at two thirty... I hurt real bad. No one would really understand how much I wanted to get my test done. I was pretty much drenched in my own tears and everything at this point, I wanted to cut myself because I hate crying so much and I was sobbing. I felt like a fucking baby.. I wanted to do more than just cut myself, I wanted to tear my skin off and just make the crying stop. I only have a scratch because my mom walked in and she was saying somethings I don't even remember.. but I had a utility knife in my hand and she took it from me and then my step dad walks back in my room to yell at me some more. My mom showed him the utility knife and he freaks out even more on me, he throws the knife at me and it breaks all over my new wood floor... Then he throws a pair of scissors at me that I had on my bureau...

"Go ahead kill yourself right in front of me, I don't fucking care! I'd rather go to jail than see your fucking ugly face! I don't care if you stab yourself in the stomach or slit your throat go ahead do it, fucking kill yourself you fucking idiot! You're nothing but a piece of shit, YOU ARE FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD!!"

He says it to me...I remember it exactly like that. My mom did nothing. She just kept bothering me for my mobile and wanting to talk to me. There's nothing to talk about, she couldn't even do anything for me since the day I was born. She even admits it. I just stayed sitting against my door crying some more, crying from two in the afternoon until now, I'm still a little teary eyed and tired as fuck.. I just left my room because everyone is asleep. No one can tell me what to do or judge me at this time of night.

I just want to leave, I just wish I had more of a choice of where to go. I don't want to live with my real dad because he lives in Boston and I'd just feel even more empty and alone. Living with someone--practically a stranger that hasn't ever wanted to support me growing up... Leaving Pennsylvania would kind of be tough too.. all of my friends. I wouldn't even know how or even if I could say goodbye if I moved to Boston. But I'd consider it just to get out of this place. I'm too old to stand for verbal and physical abuse anymore, I've lived with it for too long. That's why I'm probably so fucked up in the head.

I'm fucked up because you made me this way. You're way of "teaching me what's right" is the worst method ever. I can teach myself what's right because society creates it's own morals and ethics.

My piercings aren't out to offend anyone. I did them for my own reason, for my own self confidence.

Hi everyone. I am a young mother of two from NYC. Love my kids, love God, love family. I am very open minded but make emotional decisions, or have made emotional decisions in the past. I love my husband or maybe the idea of him. I am so frustrated with him and have no financial independence so wouldn't be able to do anything about my situation without incrdible hardship. My husband, who is educated with a great job earning more than an average late 20 year old. I am so used to living this comfortable lifestyle with my children that the thought of being on my own just scares me. He is constantly cheating on me with girls who are about 10 years younger than him...just for the record...I'm actually pretty hot myself and I am too hot for him...but he still cheats on me...we have beautiful children and I do a lot for him but still, he cheats on me. It all started with hitting. He used to threaten to kill me and attempted a few times but when mentioned later, he said he was just joking or trying to scare me...joking haha so funny...not! Anywho, he used to throw things at me, grab me hard enough to leave bruises, twist my wrist, punch the side of my head, kick me on the floor. This is all before the kids were born....why did I stay you ask? I was scared because I left him before and realized I loved him and went against everyone to be with him...and now if I left...everyone would say told u so...and i would loose him forever...and never know or understand why? Then I got pregnant...after trying for a while. Few months down the pregnancy I found out about his internet cheating. I forgave him, saying if you tell me the truth, I will be understanding. We held eachother and cried for a bit. It was done and forgotten, by him. A few months in our relationship, he just started to act like a jerk. Would verbally abuse me. Tell me what is wrong with me everyday. Then after my first child was born, I got verbally abused by him, and others in the household. It was horrible. My child was colicky and I strictly breastfed and co-slept because after million tries, it didn't work any other way. I was awfully tired and depressed and starved till late at night. I quickly dropped 60 lbs. Hubbi used to sleep in a different room because baby kept us up all night and he had work in the morning. We moved to a new place and hubbi was still jerk like. One day he left his phone at home which led me to find out that he was secretly talking to a girl every night while I was taking care of our child. The affair or friendship lasted 2 years according to the girl and 1 year according to him. It was hard on me because it was a real person, not an internet person. Hubbi went to cleanse himself of his sins and returned to me after a while. I took him back and we got pregnant with our second child. During this pregnancy, he banged my head against the wall once and tried to kill me another time. He kept choking me and I kept starring at him as if I didn't care. Freaked the heck out of my kid. That is what GOT ME! I was like oh hell no...not my kid. Mind you, during the time I was trying to get over the first betrayal, he just slapped me and told me to snap out of it. Well, moving on, then 3 months into the pregnancy I found out about another girl. I had no clue because he was SOOO nice to me and our ahem ahem life was great! I was just looking at his phone and was asking him who kept calling him and who did he keep calling so many times. Dummy left his history, and told me he didnt know who it was so he was trying to figure it out. Anyway, long story short, I spoke to the girl and he lied until he got caught. I was sad again, and once again, he...I can't do this now...this hurts to remember...I will continue another time...and before I go, I know you are probably thinking, why did you stay through this? There is more to my situation. I would lose everything and everyone, or atleast feared it so I couldnt just leave at the time...or even now...I am still with this man who till this day is abusive and cheating on me...and still denies it lol right? men!

Who's hair are YOU wearing? Do you use those handy extensions? Do you get the "goood" quality ones or the low quality ones? Got a big date this weekend and need to look your best?

Most of the women I know wouldn't admit they wore extensions if they actually did, but you know who you are. The scary part is the other women around the world that you are paying someone to exploit. If you think I'm being facetious, you should read this article and decide for yourself.

Someone somewhere, alive or dead [gross huh?], grew that "real human hair" that you now have in your lovely locks. Personally, I've never worn extensions, but I've considered it. Now I never will.

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1036155/Why-Ill-wear-hair-extensions-pop-star-Jamelia.html

Dixie currently feels:

 Excited

 

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I really have destroyed my sleep patterns.

I'm suffering from severe insomnia - the only time I can actually sleep is between noon and 4PM.

 

I stay up all night now, either playing on my DS, playing Brawl - or hanging about on the forums.

 

Forums!

 

Which brings me to the reason why I'm so excited. :D

 

 

Raven The Ravenous, a user on my forums has suggested that a lot of us get together in threads and work on a collaboration fan fiction.

 

I've wrote with four other FFN users before, but that was only duos.

This is going to be with 11+ users, with about 3-4 at once.

 

I don't like to seem like I'm taking charge, because I'm not.

I may be the admin, and I organise the threads and stuff - but I seriously do love organising things.

Due to this, I want to be the fic cleaner. :)

 

I cleaned all four of the other fics I wrote with others, and I really enjoy doing it.

But yeah, I reckon Raven should be the fic producer, seeing as how it was his idea. :)

 

A great idea, might I add.

 

I've asked if I can take part - and be a rival character.

 

My character's going to be realistic in effect, be exactly like I am, because I'll find it easier to write that way.

 

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Today I felt like taking lots of photos. :)

 

So, I've taken some which sort of relate to the way I want to come across in the forum's collaboration fic. :D

 

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Rival Dixie

 

 

1. - Dixie is thinking.

 

 

2 - Dixie is still thinking. This is a closer shot, and I can't remember how I ended up taking it, but I like it. :)

 

 

 

3 - Dixie is contemplating.

 

 

4 - I found a way to set a countdown on the camera, so I can do a full shot of myself now. :D

 

 

5 - I took this one by accident. This is the black punk jacket I mentioned in the "things in common" thread. :)

 

 

6 - Dixie, in top form. This is how I'm going to appear firstly in the collaboration fic - sketching gory images in my little black book.

 

 

7 - Dixie is glaring at you. I'm actually glaring at the camera, but you can't see my eyes because of my fringe. :)

 

 

8 - Dixie is the displeased rival. I'm one not to be crossed. :)

 

 

9 - With Pokéball in hand, Dixie searches through this shrubbery in the hopes of finding a Chikorita. :D

 

 

10 - ...Pokéball, go!

 

 

11 - Don't make me have to use this...

 

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Rough Dixie

 

 

1 - ...Ow... Did that leave a mark?

 

 

2 - ...Eww, I can feel blood.

 

 

3 - ...Does it look infected?

 

 

4 - Beaten and bruised. (I apologise for the camera lens cap being in the shot! :D)

 

 

5 - Urrrrrgh... Pain...

 

 

6 - *Groans* ...Musn't cry... Musn't cry...

(I want this one to be my new avatar!)

 

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Pikachu Abuse!

 

 

1 - ...Mwah... You're gonna get it, yellow bastard.

 

 

2 - ...Oh Pikachuuuu...! :D

 

 

3 - Pikachu... Turn around darling... :)

 

 

4 - Guillotine!

 

 

5 - Pikachu is hanged. :)

 

 

6 - Gagged and interrogated at gunpoint. :)

 

 

7 - Spider torture!

 

 

8 - Skull wound!