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Public Transportation. IWISH.
I already HATE my 18 mile commute (that's one direction).

How much more am I going to hate it with the driver side door (you know, the one that I sit next to as I drive the car?) is kind of NOT STAYING CLOSED? Like, shut it, and it pops back open?  I'm afraid tomorrow we shall find out :(

I guess this is a funny/ironic change from the usual problem, which is the door freezes shut/refuses to open.  But really, it just makes me sad and scared and nervous and wishing I had ANY kind of spare money to start putting towards a car where the doors did normal things, like open and close when I want them to.
BUTOHWAIT, I teach public school in crappy Massachusetts.  I am half a step above foodstamps, and will soon be job-hunting again. 

2012, you need to start doing better.  Already I have to have firm words with you? NOT a good omen!

The Journey to Disney 2011...

We have now left the surface of the Earth on our voyage of discovery. Soaring far beyond where the Langoliers fear to tread, far beyond the point of no return, far past the point where Chuck Norris is denied entry – a world that is so strange and unusual that mere mortal men have not ventured...

And thusly we have begun our journey and so we shall remain until we have reached the end...

But on this journey the end is just a fixed point from where the journey continues on to another point, and that other point is but an end that signals the beginning of yet another journey. And so it is...

And all those who makes this journey are safely cocooned in a chrysalis of steel and aluminum, and they shall emerge at the destination renewed and better than before – all bright and shiny with new wings with which to soar. And their flight may not take them far from the ground, but they will all reach heights that they had never thought possible in this or any other lifetime...

Their minds will race with the realization that they now have so many more possibilities than they had just a short time ago. Thoughts will bounce about in their heads of all the new experiences that await them at the end that is in all actuality a new beginning. Such is the strange life that we lead in these strange times. A life so strange that a mere generation ago we would never have imagined it possible, and yet it is more than possible, it is in fact a reality that we all most face, experience and thrive in...

We all sit here and await the mysteries of the end, and we look forward to what we will find when the time arrives. A nervous anticipation runs like waves throughout this strange ship in which we find ourselves. What does the end have in store for us? What discoveries will be made? Will the natives accept us or will we need to fight for our survival? What became of those who went before us? Will we find them living in harmony or will we find their bleached bones scattered in the sun? So many questions for which we do not have the answers for as of yet, and only our reaching the end will provide the answers we are seeking...

And onward we travel. We have our destinies to face, and we show no outward signs of fear. We are the brave new explorers on this journey of discovery, we are the Eriksons of the Twenty-first Century, we are the Lewis and Clarks of the modern world. We shall not weigh anchor until we reach the shores of this uncharted land, we shall not disembark this ship until we see the native plant and animal life, we shall remain seated until we have come to a complete stop...

And yet there is never a stop, just a momentary pause then the journey begins anew. And what a journey it will be, a journey that shall be recorded in the annals of history for our children's children's children to study in there classes in their schools in some far off distant future that we can never imagine. And maybe one day they too will undertake their own journeys of discovery and maybe they too will document their journey and pass their story onto their children's children's children and so the cycle will continue until this planet reaches it final destination, which in fact will be a beginning of a new journey...

So it was and so it shall be...


whip it
Is it possible to feel freedom when u want it. When i do have the freedom it is trapped in a box that i do not take advantage of. As if i can just  capture them and put them away and use them up like a get our of jail free card. As a update..I have been on a break from school..the semester ended...and it is four week break. LUCKAYYYYY.

I used up 2 of my weeks already of being online, watching fantastic-capturistic-movies, a occasional visit from close friends, and finaly i might want to add..i added this 2nd week of non stop working like crazy. I read an essay about a workaholic..i dont want to end up like he did. Even though im young im stuck as always somehow lol. Next week i begin practice of softballage, which is mon thru fri 1:00-4:00PM..and it is supposed to be very brutal. Then after that school starts. yay college.

my life consists of softball, school THEN work. Softball and school and work are my life for now..i put softball and work first then actual school goes after all of them. And its ever obvious that im suffering and wasting time in school with the grades i get and all the dropped classes i have obtained.

softball has always been the main focus in my life, i feel like it has sucked me in and dry. i wanted to succeed in it and make it into a good college, i wanted to show and have a outcome of all the years it took away from me that consisted of hard work and dedication. none of it seems to be paying off. i wanted to be able to prove to all of them that i can be on top because i was always the hardest worker. they went off partying doing drugs having sex..participating in celebrating life asi stayed in working my ass off and shuting myself out from everyone. i lost friends and good times and memories and absolute tru happiness. When does it truly pay off?
im starting to give up this dream and idea i put in my head.

another dream that i need to fulfill...instead of living this life-i need to participate in finding who i am and making up for lost time.
i want to keep writing..but i have to get up in seven hours to work a twelve hour shift.HMMPHF

Texas, take me away
You know, it's been more and more on my mind to return to Texas. I miss Mycki and my other friends in the area a LOT. There are places we want to visit down there such as Joel Osteen's church and a youth geared church in San Antonio area. We also want to visit John Hagee's church. I am still trying to get us down there for November, which was the plan from the start. It would be so awesome to spend a week or two in Texas area and visit Vegas in the process, since it's cheaper to get to Vegas from there than it is from here. Then we could laught it up in Las Vegas hotels, but that's a dream... I would just be happy to get to Texas for a week and spend time with my friends and visit the youth church. If I got to do it all, that would be awesome, too.

I need a break
Yes already! I have been working nearly nonstop on trying to get all the coding situated for my website revamp, as well as take care of every day life. Hubby got back from his trip and he has not been able to recuperate since he once again has been taken out by his chronic recurring sinusitis. Joyful! So he is pretty miserable, my son is bouncing off the walls *nothing new* and I'm sitting here dreaming of Westgate, Texas, and Puerto Rico...pretty much anywhere I can go to get my bearings again. I feel like I won't be able to get it all together even after our move in September because we will be so busy.

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