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The Ol' Switcheroo
(warning - it's probably gonna get long) (What? Emily write longwindedly??!?!? BLASPHEMY)

When I got called last night to sub today, I agreed to be with a group of kids with moderately-severe (does that sound like an oxymoron? It isn't - they're pretty seriously impaired, but some of them run a coffee shop at the school to teach life skills) needs.

When I walked in this morning, the principal, was like, "oh, Emily, we're so happy to see you here today!" and then gave me the sub paperwork to fill out. THEN, she goes, "there's been a change".  That's never a good sentence.  "Instead, we're going to have you fill in for Madame Mac, the French teacher".

"But Lynn, I don't know any French"
"Oh, no problem.  I'm sure you won't need it".

Sub plans are pretty MINIMALISTIC.  Oh, and since the 1st block is my 'free' period (there are 4 periods a day, each like....90 stupid minutes or something longer), the principal wanted me to get acquainted with the sub plans and then go down to the room where those kids sell coffee and be helpful there since I don't really have things to prep.  Go there, and then turns out, there are only 2 kids in there (including my neighbor who stopped working to show me how tall he was even though I see him OFTEN), so instead, I file notes in the office because not only is there nothing for 1st period, each grade level are having 'class meetings' for half an hour, so though I got there at 7:30, I don't have a student until 9:30.

While working the office, filing notes away, in walks Connor.  I guess most seniors only have 1 or 2 classes, so Connor's first class isn't until 11:15, so he's showing up at 9 for the class meeting.  Mock him slightly, but he also leaves before I remember to ask if a note in my vast pile of chicken-scratch is HIM Connor, or another Connor.  Then Matt comes in; the Vice Principal is also there, and we joked about Matt taking Joey to college, and I said he should so Joey could do spell-checking for him (a BIG part of my summer was enjoying just how poorly Matt spelled words.  Like 'army').  Then a few seconds later... Wyatt.  SO TO RECAP - yesterday I wrote about how I was glad I'd be with the special needs group because it would help me avoid awkward run-ins with my camp co-counselors because I didn't know how we'd interact and THREE OF THEM, three of the 4 that still go to that school, all came into the main office where I was sitting within 5 minutes of each other.  SERIOUSLY.  I mean, they were positive interactions, but ... does that count as irony?

Finally, first class.  I would guess there were 20 kids in it - I knew 5 of the kids in there.  2 pretty well, 1 really well, 2 'eh'.  3 of them were students in the 6th grade class my 1st year teaching (Andrew, John, and Amanda).  Leah I've known FOREVER, and Dylan I met this past summer and he's reaaaaaally annoying and then wondered aloud why the classroom teacher doesn't seem to like him.  There were a couple kids in there that were doing awesome, and then Andrew and John, I almost ripped their heads off.  Truly, truly wanted to.  They weren't 'the worst' 2 in there, but they were in the running. 

ALSO - How fucking hard is it to just sit down and do work assigned to you?  Especially when the teacher gave you a cheat sheet that has 60% of the answers right on it?  She wanted them to translate an English sentence into French, using words they HAD WORKSHEETS ON IN THEIR FOLDERS, and they still took ... FOREVER to do.  So many kids out of their seats, talking, messing around.  AND I GET IT; it wasn't a normal day and I had no seating chart (and no intention of going into full bitch mode unless I really had to), but ... come on!  Stop being dicks!

Second class was more of the same.  Actually, they were like, 70% better somehow.  Again I knew several of them.  It's nice to see that a boy who in 6th grade was so out of control and disliked and used to fall out of his chair every 30 minutes can now sit in a group of all girls and get work DONE.  That made me happy.  Also, one of the twins (Roxy, I wish I got to see Blaze!) was there, and at the end was showing me pictures of her sister's puppy.  Mostly a good group - a duo in the back (Richie and Dakota -- are you impressed I have all the names yet?) were still working on the first sheet when I passed out the one related to the movie, but mostly, they were a marked improvement over the first group.  Saw more of the film in general, and they also CAUGHT a lot more (there was a lot of WEIRD STUFF in this flick, yo!).  They finished the first worksheet really fast, so I let these 2 boys, Jake and Stephen, write 'stories' on the board (poor Rufus getting very sick!).  I really enjoyed that Jake couldn't remember the word 'chalk' so he kept asking me for a new 'marker'.  SIGH.  Matt was pretty intense, but told me he wants to grow up to be a nurse.  Other Matt (Matt W, who I said the W could be whatever he wanted and he picked 'walrus' so I just addressed him as Mr. Walrus for 90 minutes and loved it) was okay, too.  My favorite part, however, was Stephen singing "Oh-a-ooh" and IMMEDIATELY I knew it was "Video Killed the Radio Star" (remember, these kids are 17 MAXIMUM) and he was like, 'what that song's the best'.  At the VERY end of the period, I let him put it on and he danced around.  Pretty great.

OOH - before that period of almost-good French, I had lunch.  YES THAT'S RIGHT, this teacher's lunch period is 10:45 - 11:10.  I wasn't hungry (I mean, I even had breakfast today!), but I realized I didn't have dressing for my salad, so I went down to the cafe to see if I could buy some for later if I got hungry.  Know who else had lunch at 10:45. EVERYBODY EVER.  I stopped at a table because I saw AB (AB! I LOVE AB!), and as I sat, realized he was sitting with Matt.  And then I left and Connor had taken my seat.  And Wyatt was standing there, too!  It was actually a pretty fun way to pass half an hour.  Thomas showed up for a bit - Wyatt let me know that he had never realized how much T talked until golf together.  A girl named Michelle hates T.  I said I didn't; Connor reminded me when I did a little. Alex, Connor, Matt, and Wyatt all in the same room... take Matt out, and they're some of my historic favorites.  Well...AB and Wyatt.  Well...AB; Wyatt used to be a REAL pain in the butt when he was in 5th grade - we talk about it a lot. 
Trying to leave the cafe a little early to get upstairs to re-find my classroom and you know, settle in.  Matt decides he wants to get upstairs early so he'll try to go up with me.  OH yeah... woman working the door stopped us.  ME. She stopped me.  And didn't believe I was a sub, and not a student.  I'd like to remind you, I am 27, NOT 17 (hell, Matt's 18, but I'm STILL NOT HIS AGE).  And I got stopped trying to leave the room.

Last class -- somehow better than the 1st, but not as good as the 2nd.  Knew SO MANY of them - Nikolai (who is just 'Nick'?), Josh (Joshy T!), Austin aka Austin R. aka SUNSHINE, Halley, and Tasha (AB's sister).  Then there were Lucas and Liam, who were basically interchangeable.  HOLY COW - and they both had stupid blue shirts on to REALLY mess me up.  According to Liam (who gets points for being ambidextrous in some capacity), the teacher thinks he has special needs so he gets away with a lot.  They were sitting with the infamous Nick Brown (and by 'infamous', I mean when Joshy T was in 6th grade, he talked about meeting a kid named Nick Brown and flashfoward 4 years later, apparently everyone calls him by both names) and a girl named Alyse.  Finally convinced her to slide her chair to a quieter table to get work done.  NickBrown would get work done, and L&L would copy it.  OH INTEGRITY.  There was one girl, Bethany, who just sat the whole time doing work.  I loved her (Eduardo in period 1 also won).  At one point, Liam asked to go get a drink of water - I said yes.  He was gone a while.  Came back and told me he'd gone to a world history class for a bit (what? why!?!?).
After school, the history teacher came to the door and was like, 'oh, are you the sub?  I had one of your students come into my room for a bit.  He said he really liked having you as a sub because you're cool'.  Oh, and FYI, it wasn't that he stood in the doorway and listened for a quick minute, he somehow walked all the way across the room and was sitting on her windowsill for unknown amounts of time before she realized and told him to leave.  Might be part Ninja.

I wrote a mostly-tame letter to the teacher, toning-down just how freaking busy they were with their mouths and NOT with their pencils.  When I was in high school EVEN with a sub, I would never have dreamed of all that went on.  Even the 'bad' kids wouldn't be angels, but they wouldn't be that blatantly out of line.

After school, Wyatt came to visit me.  That was a nice little surprise.  But before that, when the 2nd class I had was ending, Wy, AB and Connor were all in the same class (possibly with Matt as a TA) across the hall, and came past me.  One of the boys in my class (possibly Stephen) had commented as he looked out the window that it was 'raining sideways', which is something Connor said A LOT and I got to tell him.  And when I was dismissing the 1st class, SOMEONE in the hall yelled down, "Emily; sucks to suck" which is something we said A LOT at camp.

Today was quite a day; should have been easy as pie, considering it was tie-dye day and numbers were fairly low, but of course, it wasn't.  At least not with my babies.

Let's put it shortly, because I am exhausted from lugging around boxes from my apartment:

One of my campers BIT another kid today (thank the Lord she didn't break the skin!, but her dad had to get her at around 1:30).
Another of my campers is suspended tomorrow because he punched my co-counselor in the arm after my co-counselor told him 'no'. 

My campers are 7 and 8 year olds (well, the one who did the biting is 9 1/2, but she's in her own class).  And I only had 10 today.

Poor LeighAnn got ill and had to leave early; I bet she wishes she'd gone to Canada with her friend instead of working because apparently the stomach thing/sore throat is going around.  Gravy.

On the upshot, since I like to find the 'rainbow in the rain', I got to see a shirtless Nate go jogging today, and then as I was leaving my parents' store to drive to my apartment to get things, I got to talk to Dan... who swears that THIS time, he really will give me the bike he promised me last August.   He's working at Zoar with Parker... which if the 2 of them were on the same raft trip would be AMAZING.

About 1/3 of work today....
About 1/3 of work today involved me running errands for the restaurant. Instead of really working i was sent to Walmart about 15/20 minutes away?
I picked up:
1 case of Bakers Chocolate (unsweetened)
2 cases of Bakers Chocolate (sweetened) -also noted they only had one case and a few others.
1 Bottle of cranberry juice
1 heart of Romaine

The girl at the register asked me what I was going to do with all of those boxes of baking chocolate. I told her that I was on an errand for work. She asked where I worked. I told her.
Problem being that the Heart was what threw all of us off, the owner didn't know what they hell he was talking about so he meant 10 and not 1. And iceburg lettuce and not Romaine. So as soon as I got back to work I was sent right back out to get the right green stuff. I went to Big M because it was slightly closer and I needed to get the Ten heads of lettuce. I bought seafood salad on the restaurants money.

I was later sent out for pizza.

I Know This Should Be the FURTHEST Thing From My Mind...
...but the sub filling in for Kathleen today while she's snowed-in in Boston is

R E A L L Y  C U T E .

I mean, ridiculously goodlooking (Zoolander? Anyone?)

David.   His name is David.

And he's really cute.

And that made my good day (so far) a little brighter.

               I'm calling it now, the rumor of the summer is going to be, “Emily peed her pants!”.  Today after swimming for a bit, one of my campers was blue in the face, covered in goosebumps, and chattering audibly.  I wrapped her in her towel, but not all that helpful.  So I sat her on my lap to try to warm her up a bit.  Worked a little, but I still made her wear my sweatshirt for awhile.  Finally time to stand up to go leave the pool, and though I had purposefully sat her forward more on my lap to avoid it, HUGE wet stain all over my body, including a giant one around my crotch so it really did look like I hadn’t made it to the bathroom in time…and that I’d been holding back Lake Niagara when I exploded.  Amazingly hilarious; I mean, embarrassing too, and not comfortable to walk around in jeans that are clinging to you awkwardly, but it was perfect.  Today was yucky weather wise, and we all needed something to joke around about.  This was it.
             ...or DID I accidently accident myself today?  I mean, I'm 24 now; control's not what it used to be :-P.

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