Change @ MindSay

Growth

In secret ways, I grew up

It wasn’t growing taller

Nor was it learning more

It was the places in darkness

There I learned and found,

Lost much to gain little

 

People observed some

The physical changes

The hips, the breasts

The height, the make-up

 

People guessed others

The inner changes

The mind, the desires

The beliefs, the goals

 

But in places in the darkness

Things changed unobserved

And not assumed. They grew

Dark and black as their place

Of birth, they haunt me now

 

Adolescence leaves

Without remark

The growth to adult

Leaves deep scars

I can sense change in the air for me,
I do not know what is about to happen to
me, but I know its happening, and I am a
little nervous.
I hope I meet a man, someone
who totally adores me for who I am, not
the sex or the money, because since people
found out I have money they really just try to
use me, like the last one, "I would come see
you but I don't have gas in my car, could
I borrow some money from you?" Gosh, I
really do not like people like that.
I also hope it is something exciting, like
a promotion or something like that.
I felt this feeling last week that something was
about to change, and now the feeling is
so strong.
I will let everyone know what that change is.

*random moment*
I hate my ex with a fiery passion. He keeps trying to
call me and shit telling me he is sorry for hitting me,
and he is going through counseling now for it, and
he would like me back, and I was like "well thats a
little difficult seeing as I am 4,000 miles away."
Ugh people never see what they have until it is gone.

I find myself, for some reason, being more optimistic lately.  Having a new perspective.  And looking forward to changes that I think will happen.

First, I find myself silly in love, and looking through new eyes at a person that I only saw "in the past".  The past is over - we can't change it, but we can certainly learn from it.  Luckily, we found our way out of the hole we dug and had lived in for a while now.  We stuck our heads out, and yes - the sun came up.

Second, I am finding more positive ways to work, and avoiding negativity until absolutely necessary.  I can't please everyone, but amazingly some people do find me slightly useful.  I'd forgotten how that felt, and I like it!

Third, I think the country is about to change - for the good.  I think the man I am hoping will be president can change the world.  How we look at the world and how it looks at us.  A man of THIS generation, not of past ones, who understands where we are now - and how to get us out of here!

I hope he is given a chance.  No - I hope he is given EVERY chance.  If the media and the "other side" could just leave him be and see what happens, I think we're in for something amazing.  I think our people will unite under this man and hopefully put politics aside.  He is the man in the middle - between young and old, black and white, us and them.  He's old enough to know, and young enough to dream.

Let's give him a chance, folks, and hop on for the ride.

Isn't it just amazing how time flies?

It feels like ages have passed since high school, yet only a few years have gone by.  Even this year has gone by so fast itself.  Wasn't it just yesterday that this year began?  It feels that a lifetime ago I started at the university that I'm at, but it hasn't been quite a year yet.  This summer feels like it just started yesterday, yet at the same time it's been here for years (that might be due to the relentless heat of summer).

Before I know it my senior year of college will begin and time will pick up speed, or slow dramatically with my anticipation.  Either way this rite of passage grows less distant every day.

Don't really know if there was a point to this.  Other than my nostalgia and being mesmerized by my own perception of time.