Boredom @ MindSay 
bored
Name five people you've talked to today? Megan, Jennifer, Chris, Erynne, Sophie
Is anything wrong? Is anything right?
Do you throw your candy wrappers away? Yeah... the wrappers are garbage. And that last sentence works without the W, too.
Do you ever write notes on your hand? If I don't have a pad of paper on me, I'm unlikely to have a writing implement. And if I can borrow a pen or pencil, I can generally borrow some paper, too.
Last time you cried? Why? My right eye has been watering all morning. Dunno why.
Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Michael? Um, I'd think so, yes.
Last movie you watched? The Illusionist
Where did you sleep last night? You tell me.
Where is your phone? About a foot from my elbow.
When is the last time you were in a swimming pool? Been a few years.
Are you happy right now? Not terribly.
Do you miss anyone? Who doesn't?
What do you feel like watching? A great movie adaptation of one of my novels.
Do you ever try to write with your non-dominant hand? Not for many years.
What is the last thing to make you laugh? Someone said they thought Sarah Palin was awesome. I laughed. Then I realized they were serious.
What's on your mind right now? The desire to go home.
What makes you happy? A job well done! Bwa-ha-ha...
Last place you ate out at and when? Upper Crust Pizza, for lunch on Wednesday.
What's an obsession you have? Too many to list.
Has anyone ever sang to you? Yeah.
Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? Not exactly, but I can do it when needed.
Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? Nopers.
What are you drinking right now? A Cafe Americano.
When's your birthday? Inauguration Day.
Who were the last people you hung out with? Some idiots from work.
What are you wearing right now? Jeans, a brown shirt with pinstripes, and sandals.
Have you ever been awake for 48 hours? Not sure.
What are you listening to? At the moment, "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner.
How's the weather? Decent.
Does anyone call you "baby"? Yeah, occasionally.
Are you jealous of anyone right now? Hell, no. Jealousy is stupid. (Or did you mean "envious"? The terms are so commonly confused by people today.)
Do you regret doing something today? Coming to work tops the list.
Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't? Of course.
Are you afraid of the dark? The dark what?
What are you looking forward to in the next month? A week's vacation!
Have you told anybody you loved them today? No, and it's fairly unlikely.
Who do you trust with EVERYTHING? No one. Not even myself.
Have you ever told anyone you were okay when you really weren't? Again, who hasn't?
How was your weekend? Meh.
What is one thing you miss about your past? Having a longer future ahead of me.
Are you sarcastic? Just a tad. On a good day.
Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past month? Nope.
What is the thing that you would most like to change about you? Honestly, I can't pick just one.
Does your password have to do with a boy? In a roundabout way, yes.
Have you ever slapped a boy in the face? Just myself.
- Not everything needs to be analyzed and picked apart.
- It's okay to do stuff without reason.
- Sometimes it's okay to forget everything for awhile.
- Acting silly and childish will keep you young.
- Indulge in your every pleasure.
- Nothing is immortal, not even Vampires.
- Live like you're going to die any second.
- Lower your expectations to avoid disappointment.
My mind is drawing a blank. All I can think of are pictures. I'm thinking IN pictures. Pictures. Images. Thoughts. Reality. Mind.
I write things down to remember. I write things down so I won't forget. I write things down so I won't forget to remember. It's possible.
It's easier not to care. Sometimes I wish I was still depressed. It was easier. Reminds me of...
DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY DEATH IS EASY
"So. this is how it feels to die? But it's okay. Yeah, everything's okay."
I can't paint anything anymore. I can't draw anymore. I mean - it's there, I have the ability, but nothing comes to my head anymore. I can't even listen to music and just paint or draw what I feel anymore. What medium do I use now? Photography is too easy. Am I destined to make shitty blog entries for the rest of my life? Everything has been done before. Maybe I'll try writing again. Or am I destined to continue writing fuckass haiku poems on my cell phone to pass time? Abusing the body is a boring art form. My scars will tell you that. All I can do is trace over my scars and hope for some artistic inspiration.
I still don't have a nickname. I thought about using Grave, you know, because I want to be a Mortician, but I'm sure I'll be called emo and shit. Hurr durr - fascination with death = emo now, or so the "in-crowd" claims.
I'm good at psychoanalyzing myself. I used to pick myself apart when I was bored. I've figured myself out for the most part now, so I'm bored with my emotions. I want to experience a new emotion or one that I haven't felt in a long time. I want to play with my mind. But what is there to do with it? I mean - the shrinks had such a fun time drugging me up and digging around in my memories, why the fuck shouldn't I have that chance?
If I didn't feel physical pain, I'd jump at the chance to rip myself apart and look inside. I'd probably bleed to death, but what better way to die than by your own, murderous hands?
"Mountains. Heavy are the mountains. But that changes with the passage of time.
Sky, blue sky. What your eyes can't see. What your eyes can see.
The sun. One, only one.
Water. It is a grey pool. Commander Ikari.
Flowers. So many the same, so many without purpose.
Sky. Sky of red. Red the colour, the colour I hate.
The liquid flows. It drips, ripples, and pours. Blood. Scent of blood, woman who does not bleed.
On the red soil the humans come. Humans made by man and woman.
City. A human creation. EVA. A human creation as well.
What are humans? Are they creations of God? Humans, and that which is created by humans.
This is that which is mine. My life; my heart. I am a vessel for my thoughts.
The entry plug; the throne of the soul. Who is this? This is me.
Who am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I...
I am I.
This object that is myself, that which forms what is me. This is the self that can be seen and yet it is not like that which is myself.
A strange feeling. My body feels as if it is melting. I can no longer see myself, my form, my shape...It fades from view.
Awareness dawns of someone who is not mel; who was here, there, beyond me here.
Shinji? This person I know, Major Katsuragi. Doctor Akagi. People. My classmates. The pilot of Unit 02. Commander Ikari?
Who are you? Who are you? Who are you..."
"I wonder when it started... the drifting... It's like my mind and body have come apart, little by little...
Whenever something sad... or painful... happens
It's like there's another me who watches it... like it's happening to someone else, thinking... "that's not me." It's okay. I can live like that. I'll lock my heart deeper away. I won't have to feel pain outside or inside... or fear...
I WON'T HAVE TO FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL!"
*NOTE: I do not EXPECT anyone to reply to any of my bullshit entries or even read them. It's nice when I get advice, but I don't expect people to respond. When I signed up for Mindsay, I did it so I could just get my thoughts down. I doubted anyone would reply. So please, don't feel that you HAVE TO reply or give me advice.*
The show on at 10 PM EST on channel A&E!
After staying up till near 330 am again last night, I stayed in bed till 2 PM. Having no reason what so ever to even get up.
Upon doing so I turned on TV and once again show the shows of , Sabrina the teenage witch, and yes dear. My parents arrived home and brought dinner from Arby's. While I continued to watch TV. With the shows, CSI , and right now the local news at 6 PM.
The plans for the rest of the night go like this. 7 PM CSI on spike TV. Until 8 PM, when I switch to channel fox , and watch the 2 hour season premiere of Bones! Check that out, its one of the best shows on TV ! Then at 10 , I'll be tuning into Mindfreak on A&E. Then late local news, and followed by Leno at 11.
Yup, that's all I guess today holds for me. A TV line up of somewhat interesting shows.
So, what else is on my mind? I just shortened my stainless steel rolo necklace to 18 inches. I took all of a half inch of, lets see if I am happy with it. Only time will tell. I also cleaned it after the shorting process. Other then that, I think my hair looks ok, and I haven't washed it with soap in 3 days, lol . Umm... guess that's all that's on my mind at the moment.
~ Boredom can randomly set in 
My gamer profile got corrupted.
And to recover it, I apparently need Xbox Live.
I don't have that shit.
And I don't know how to connect to it.
I need my achievements back. I feel as though part of my life was wasted.
FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK.
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