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Anger @ MindSay



 

 

Triggers.
There are few things that can honestly get me lit...

One, is liars.. People that have the audacity to lie to my face really piss me off.. To call yourself a friend, yet lack the respect to be honest with me does not fly... Nobody deserves to be lied to.

The second thing I can't stand is shit-talkers.. what makes you think you're better than anyone else? Do you know what they've been through? Do you know what stories they can tell? There's a reason they are who they are, whether it's a bum or a Wall Street business man, they got where their are and have their reasons for who they are, for you to look down and talk shit to them for who they are, you have no right.. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but make informed opinions, don't just judge people.

Another thing, is not respecting someone when you're requesting something of them.. Being polite isn't hard, just be a fucking adult and if you're asking something of someone, then ask, don't demand.. Demanding is a sure fire way to get someone like me to say, go fuck yourself, and ensure things burn to the ground.

Chelsea hasn't really talked to me, no real reason why, no explanation, nothing.. and apparently it's because she's been talking to my roommate Dustin, and vise verse.. I don't care if you'd rather date my roommate, but be an adult about it and tell me, don't leave me wondering what's going on, don't make me find out through my roommate, especially when we were dating first.. It irritates me to no end to have people go behind my back, especially when just being honest is so much easier.. We are adults, just fucking act like it.

The other point I bought up is people that look down on others... Dustin's friend tonight really pushed me when he started talking shit on someone he didn't know, then got Dustin and his other friend to also talk shit on the guy... There is absolutely no reason for this, especially in people I want to keep in my life, someone I want to go on a backpacking trip with.. Everyone has a reason for the things they do, everyone has their own difficulties and trials they go through and for someone to talk shit about someone because of the state they are in is absolute bullshit. My family has grown up from damn near nothing, I learned at a young age that if you want something, it's going to cost money, for there to be money to buy the things I want, at that age anyway, my parents would have to work harder in jobs with shitty working conditions.. I still live in a family with shitting working conditions, I understand now what they go through just to stay afloat, they have their own lives, and it's not the best life, but nobody has any right to talk shit about them, they are some of the best people I know, they work hard for the little they have, I work hard for what I have, and I'll be damned if someone talks shit to me about what I have... I work hard, I've been through my own shit, I have my own experiences I've been through, the same as the guy at the bar, he has his own life, he's done his own stuff, don't talk down to them. Was he hurting you when he tried standing up for his friend you were bashing? No, so don't talk shit to or about him.. God it pissed me off when he started looking down on me, I just pulled my hat down and did my best to just focus on my coffee.

Last but not least, the other point I brought up... I have a friend named Brandi, we got to know each other when she sewed up my finger at a party, I sliced it open helping the host get ready for the house warming party she was hosting. She and her husband separated and I started getting to know her, nothing major, a little kissing and holding, that's it... We stopped talking for a while when I started getting serious about dating Savanah and Chelsea, and we went our ways. I went to talk to her today, and not even fifteen minutes later, her husband starts texting me all sorts of cute threats and talking all sorts of shit to me, demanding I stop talking to her... It's been almost a year since they separated, it's been roughly 4 months since I stopped pursing anything more than friendship with her... but he still has the balls to cuss me out and threaten me, when he screwed a married woman, other than his wife, and got her pregnant.. while he was still technically married to Brandi.. but he still demands I stop talking to and pursuing Brandi... Late to the party man, I stopped a while ago, and for you to demand I do shit for you, after showing no respect to me with your threats, doesn't make me want to be compliant. Anytime anyone asks anything of me, be it an ex or someone I just met, I treat them courteously and respectfully.. He tries to blame his aggression on an accident that happened, but honestly, I've had to live with a genetic disorder that gave me depression, anxiety, anger issues as well as insomnia... but I don't blame them, I don't act like a jackass to people and then say, pity me, forgive me, it's my genetic disposition to be a fuck to you.. I take responsibility and keep myself in line, or I walk away till I can get under control, it's nobody's problem but my own, and it's my job to keep myself in control, if I can't do that around people, then go somewhere I can release and continue on.

Needless to say, after the Sunday Tradition at the bar with old coworkers and Dustin, plus his two friends... I busted my hand against a newspaper stand thing in front of Denny's, instead of busting Dustin's friend's jaw.. three bruised knuckles and two split knuckles is better than getting into a fight, I've learned that much by now.. I didn't eat, I was too pissed off to, so I drank coffee outside while they continued to talk shit about someone.. I joined Chelsea for a smoke outside, still pissed about her and Dustin, and she asked what was wrong, I tried explaining it, but she just threw the "well does it affect you?" argument in, and I was just tired of talking by that point. Sure, she was right that the shit talking didn't directly affect me, but that doesn't mean I should sit around and play nice with people that have no respect for others.. And it makes me less interested to try to talk to her, let alone go on this Adventure with Dustin, if he has such little respect for others.

I ended up walking the few miles from Denny's back to the house, I was still very lit by the time I decided to just walk home... I'm still pretty irritated now, and it's been roughly an hours walk home. I'm proud of myself I didn't destroy anything on the way home, there were many things I just wanted to let my aggression out on, mostly metal things.. Between the rain and the cold, it was enough to stave off the desire to break stuff..

I just don't understand how such behavior still exists, especially in people that want to be viewed as such enlightened individuals. I've been treated like shit majority of my life, I've made mistake and I've learned many lessons, but I don't see a reason to not be respectful to people, I don't see a reason to look down on others, it just doesn't make sense. The entire time from the bar to Denny's I tried changing the subject from shit talking to just about anything else, but they would really rather be children..

Maybe I'll never understand, but at least I can stand up for what I believe and I don't wrongfully condemn strangers, or follow a crowd like that.. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.. All I know is I worked hard for the life I have, the people in my life worked hard for the life they lead, it's not my place to treat people like shit or like I'm better than them; everyone has something to teach, and something to learn. My hand will heal, and I'll let things go, but for now, I'm angry, I'm disappointed and I'm pretty sad about things.

Later days,

Christopher.
 
 
 

   
THE GLOG

    So, I am aware that I am, yet again 3 days behind on my Song Challenge, however that will have to wait until tomorrow, as I am desperately in need of sleep, but still FUMING over the events of the day.


     Today, my daughter came home in tears. Now, with her, shall we say, DRAMATIC nature, this is NOT an uncommon event. The reason, however WAS. She had had an altercation with a teacher after school, over a project for her Social Studies class. A project that was due Tuesday, that she HAD completed, however she felt the desire to go alter slightly before her presentation, which had yet to occur. There was no rule against it for the class (that I know of), and she did it in plain view of God and the world in the school library.  According to My Red Queen (my oldest daughter), the teacher informed her that she was losing 15 points off of her grade to start because it wasn’t completed on time, and then stated that My Red Queen was LYING when she protested that it had been DONE on Monday night. Keep in mind, that My Red Queen had missed Wed and Thurs last week due to illness, there was NO SCHOOL Friday, and we were unable to obtain her login information for her GLOG until she returned to school Monday. At any rate. I sent an EXTREMELY ANGRY, and THINLY VEILED SARCASTIC email to the teacher in my ire. I will now include, my email, the teacher’s reply (I was extremely impressed with both her grammar, spelling, and punctuation, by the way), and my reply which I sent not 10 minutes ago. Feel free to comment if you think I was an asshole, or if you think SHE was. I KNOW  that I was, however, in this instance, I feel like she deserved it. I also do not think that a visit with the 6th grade house Principal would be amiss in this scenario. Comment away!



~MY ORIGINAL EMAIL ~


Dear, Ms V******
As I am sure you know, you confronted my daughter about her GLOG today in the library.
Her GLOG which was completed on Monday evening. She showed it to me that night, as she was also making sure it was posted properly.
After which, I then went to sign up for my OWN GLOG account, because it was such a neat idea.
After seeing some of the presentations in class, and since she had not had to present hers yet, D****** decided to add some extra media to her page today.
She is VERY upset at being called a LIAR. I am ALSO upset that you would say she lied about having it completed. Had you checked them on Tuesday yourself, you would have seen her COMPLETED page at the time. Being extremely OCD myself, I can understand the desire to continually ENHANCE my graphic design with more, when i see things that might make it bigger or BETTER.
I am sorry if this concept was too much for you to understand or accept today in the library. I REALLY do not appreciate my daughter coming home in tears at losing points on something that she worked VERY hard on. HAD she been required to present her GLOG to the class today. It would have been presented as it was BEFORE she added a few extra things to it this afternoon. Seeing as she had more time, why NOT add things that might make it BETTER before the presentation? Was it EXPRESSLY made a RULE to the class that they could not add ANYTHING to the glog after the due date?
Also, D****** and I were AT the school on THURSDAY, last week, attempting to get her login information so that she could work on it over the weekend. After having been sick for 2 days, she felt she was behind. She was unable to get that information until MONDAY. Only THINK of how much she might have been able to put into it had she had the whole weekend to work on it.
I am sure you understand why this matter is so UPSETTING to us here. I am ALSO sure that you will do the right thing.
I am QUITE sorry that I had to resort to sending an email like this. Then again, I do not approve of being called a LIAR, OR having my CHILDREN accused of LYING.
At my last check, this was a country where in which you were INNOCENT until PROVEN guilty. Had you checked the GLOG prior to seeing D****** adding to it in the library today, you would have known that it was already completed.
Have a Wonderful Day
Mrs ***************


YES, I AM AWARE THAT I PUT THE COMMA IN THE WRONG PLACE WHEN I OPENED THE EMAIL. LOL OOPS? THE TEACHER THEN REPLIED TO ME 2 HOURS LATER WHILE I WAS NOT HOME. I JUST CHECKED MY MAIL AND SAW IT A SHORT TIME AGO.


~THE REPLY~


I am not going to honor your angry email by arguing, but restating facts.  Mrs P***** gave D****** her glog address 2x before this week amd this week.   Other students who presemted the past 3 days did not have the possibility to improve their work after seeing others. I was able to see the original and improved work today. If someone answers with hiding the truth , it isn't really honest, though I can see that D****** may not have seen it that way   I told her on Monday, to do a poster or online  page , if she didn't have the glog info, but she ignored  that .  I understand D******'s need , based on your email, and hearing that you entered my classroom  Thursday during class, to get that information .
She is a great girl, who seems to find it needed to hide the truth amd follow through,regardless of direction. This is not the first time, and is a difficult learning experience. I would rather she not be in teArs, bit understand her frustration at being observed in creating past the due date.
I will compromise in grade reduction to half the time. I'm sure with her added attention to detail, it will be a wonderful presentation.
  Thank- you for your communication.
Ms. D**** V******



CAN I JUST SAY, THAT READING THIS EMAIL FROM SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE TEACHING MY CHILD, AND THERE BEING LITTLE TO NO SEMBLANCE OF SENTENCE STRUCTURE OR EVEN A….PRETENSE AT A POLITE GREETING AT THE START, SERIOUSLY CONCERNS ME ABOUT MY DAUGHTER’S EDUCATIONAL VALUE UNDER THIS TEACHER.


~AT ANY RATE… HERE IS MY EMAIL BACK~


Ms V******,
     Regardless of the ANGER or FRUSTRATION evident in my email, i asked you several questions which you merely ignored.
     Was the class told that they could NOT make ANY changes to the GLOG after Tuesday?
     If they were not, and I am SURE other children have computers at home, why wouldn't they make changes? Secondly, D****** has her OWN computer at home. IF she had felt that she was doing something which she was not PERMITTED to do, WHY would she do it where she could be CAUGHT doing it, as opposed to doing so in the privacy of her own bedroom?  Thirdly, that being said. I looked over her GLOG myself tonight. She changed her background, added a little word bubble, and corrected her poor spelling.  The only bit of that which may have REALLY made any great impact to her page, would be the background.
  Fourth; D****** missed TWO days of school. I was unable to obtain the information she REQUIRED to complete her assignment on time. REASONABLY, she would be given a little extra time to MAKE UP her work after her absence.  Especially  class and home work that she had been unable to receive or make up prior to her return.
    Yes, I entered your classroom during the class period that D****** normally has class. It was approximately 10 minutes before the bell, and we would not have done so, had D****** not seen MANY of the students from her class in the Library, when we attempted to get her GLOG login information from the librarian who was ALSO, sadly, absent. We peeked into the classroom door, and ALL the students appeared to be doing work silently. No teacher was visible. So, D****** went in, saw the substitute, and asked her for the information. To which the substitute replied,"That seems to be the question of the day. Everyone has been asking me that. I don't have the information." It would appear that D****** is not the only student who was left without their GLOG login information. Thus making a whole HOST of students negligent.
   As to your suggestion of making a poster, we do not own a printer, so any kind of poster she made, would have been sadly lacking in comparison. We also do not receive magazine subscriptions, and as i am currently unemployed and living with my 2 children at my parents home, we don't have the money to go out and have a bunch of images printed anywhere either.
   Making her GLOG design somewhere else online would have been an ideal solution, however, being 11 years old, and NOT all that familiar with anything outside of Facebook, D****** would be unable to do that. Also, she isn't proficient in Web Design, HTML coding or CSS, also making that an EXTREMELY tall order. Unless of course, I was supposed to design her homework for her. Which, I would have refused to do, as it was a project that SHE was required to do for school.
     I emailed you for the information. I will be VERY HAPPY to FORWARD the email I sent you so that you can personally check the datestamp and your email address, as you apparently informed my daughter that I DID NOT send you an email, which would imply that I am a liar. I have no idea why you did not receive it, regardless, that is neither my fault nor yours. However, your implication that I had lied to my daughter about sending it at all, IS your fault.
   In short (or LONG as this email was due to having to explain myself, AND my reasons for my anger with much more detail as you have made it plain that you wanted FACTS not FEELINGS), we did EVERYTHING that we could to obtain D******'s homework and SCHOOL work so that she could make it up BEFORE her return to school on Monday. We managed to obtain the work for EVERY other class, AND she completed it ALL over the long weekend.  Each of those teachers told me that had she not been able to get the work until Monday that they would have given her a few extra days to complete it. If the primary time that the students had to work on their GLOG was CLASS based time, then why would Desiree NOT be given a few days extra to catch up after her absence?
    Finally, I fail to see how maintaining that she had completed her GLOG PRIOR to today (which, unless you MAINTAIN that I am a liar as you implied to my daughter, i am PERSONALLY able to VERIFY), in ANY way was HIDING the truth. She TOLD you the truth. She HAD finished it. If there was no rule saying that the students could NOT go in and modify it later, and she wanted to change her background, then what would say she couldn't? Also, if there have been other occasions in which you felt that my child was being DECEPTIVE, it would be nice if I were informed. Her behavior cannot be addressed if i am unaware of it. Of course, if she was lying regardless of whether or not she was lying, it really makes little difference, does it?
Mrs **********



I FEEL THAT I AT LEAST MADE SOME ATTEMPT TO HIDE MY CONDESCENTION FOR HER LACK OF EVEN BOTHERING TO TRY TO ANSWER MY EMAIL WITH ANY KIND OF SINCERE EXPLAINATION ABOUT HER ACTIONS AND THEIR REASONING. NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT NOT ONLY DID SHE TYPO HALF THE EMAIL, DID SHE EVEN BOTHER TO, I DON’T KNOW, REREAD IT TO MAKE SURE IT WAS LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE? *SIGH* AND THIS IS WHAT I AM SENDING  MY CHILD TO LEARN FROM… AND WE WONDER ABOUT THE DECLINE IN EDUCATION????? 


And NOW… to bed with me… before I blow a gasket or 5 in my ANGER at this woman’s total lack of respect for humans in general. OH speaking of which. As a side note, My Red Queen has repeatedly informed us at the dinner table that this VERY teacher tells them all quite a bit about her cats. and shows them pictures also. REALLY?! I LOVE and ADORE cats and all…but… REALLY?!!! I’d be willing to bet that  my Red Queen knows more about the woman’s cats than she knows about whatever subject they are studying.

 
 
   
 

HOW TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH YOUR WIFE
Most marital break-up is due to unresolve arguments each one has to protect. This is the barrier of reconciliation because no one want to give up and listen. But there's still hope if you know the rule: Make your words as brief as possible in talking to your wife. Don't overdo it. Listen to the phrase "too many words, too many errors". Focus only to the main subject of arguments. When you talk, be specific to what you have been complaining. Too many specifics will only lead to too many useless arguments. In talking to your wife, never use a word that signifies an insult or accusation of any kind. Further, avoid blaming anyone's fault. It can create feeling of hatred instead of pacifying anger. Avoid labeling your wife with undignified remarks. She is people, too, whose feeling easily get hurt. Respect her as a whole. Don't attack about her own personality. When is is talking, you listen. Hear her voice. Know her sentiments, understand her complain if you find it was reasonable. Don't insist if you think she is right. If you made mistakes, accept it. No need to lengthen an arguments that is useless just for the benefits of pride. Talk to her positively. Choose words that is not hurting. Avoid negative remarks. Try to make the environment less threatening. Don't run to conclusion prematurely. Give much time to know her intention. Too hasty to make an unnecessary decision may regret you later. There is a possibility that you are both wrong. Don't resort to violence. It will only add more heat to the flaming fire. Instead find ways to put it off. Never allow that it will consume both of you. Talk to your wife honestly. Convince her to hold your misunderstanding at bay for a moment. This is to allow both of you to find the most concrete solution to your problem agreeable to both of you. Keep your silence. Don't always open the cause of your disagreement. Keep a peaceful environment as much as possible. If she keep nagging you for a fight, leave the room and find a place away from her for a while. Always have an open mind. Resolve your arguments in constructive way. She may understand later that you are giving your best effort to reconcile both your sentiments. No need to fight more. Seek advise from your friends if all option proved fruitless. They may have some good points and better idea more appropriate to your problem. Don't wait for her to reconcile you. Make the first move for the sake of your marriage. Sometimes, wife has more pride than you can imagine.
 
 
 

   
Should I
write a (true) story about people I have a grudge against? Or should I just let go of the grudge?
 
 
   
 

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