9 Days @ MindSay 
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles
And how many days in a year?
She woke up with hope but she only found tears
And I can be so insincere
Making her promises never for real
As long as she stands there waiting
Wearin' the holes in the soles of her shoes
How many days disappear?
You look in the mirror, so how do you choose?
Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
But You never seem to run out of things to say
This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles
How many lovers would stay?
Just to put up with this every day and all day
How did we wind up this way?
Watchin' our mouths for the words that we say
As long as we stand here waitin'
Wearin' the clothes of the souls that we choose
How do we get there today?
When we're walkin' too far for the price of our shoes
Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
But you never seem to run out of things to say
This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
while she looks so sad and lonley there
I absolutely love her
When she smiles
And your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
But you never seem to run out of things to say
This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
This is the story of a girl
Her pretty face she hid from the world!
And while she looks so sad and lonely there
I absolutely love her
This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles
When she smiles
Yes, it is true. 9 Days left in Massachusetts for me. :D ...Quite frankly, I couldn't be more excited! Nope. Nope. Nope.
This weekend has not been all smiles and sunshine, though. Actually, it has been complete hell. First off, Saturday, I woke up around 1:30.. I got a text from Justin saying something about him not wanting to be at work.. I replied...blah blah. ..So I got out up and, already having a bad feeling about the day, got a drink and went to lay back down. My mum comes into the room and and says "You're going to sleep all day?" and I was like o_0 wtf? I just said "What else am I going to?" and she says something along the lines of "how did I know that was coming.." and ...yeah. ..I'm sitting here, totally confused about everything and I just ask her "what's the problem?!" and she goes on to tell me she called Justin. ...Hence why he was so unhappy and didn't want to be at work any longer. Naturally, I flip out, demanding to know how the fuck she got his number and what the fuck business she has calling him while he's at work, etc. She doesn't say much for a while.. then goes through all the bullshit about "having ways" of "finding things out" .... ...... .....WHAT? ...So, after lying to me about it for about 20-25 minutes, she sees that I'm not believing her and admits that she took my phone and got his number that way. ..... I was completely ripshit.
--First of all! ...Are you fucking serious? ...What kind of parent would do such a shitty thing! Second of all, I already planned on talking to her about that, because Justin had said the previous night that he'll be more than willing to give her his number and all that... but no. She had to go behind my back to get it before I even had a chance. ...and THIRD-- Don't fuckng harass him at work! ...He told her he was working, but she still insisted on talking right then. Why? Because she didn't want me to know. ...o_0 So, all she ended up doing with that whole thing is ask him "what are your intentions with my daughter?" (......watch enough movies?) and she somehow felt compelled to judge him and assume all these awful things when she doesn't even know him.. I felt so bad.. I called him later that night and we talked for a good 6 hours or something like that. He feels bad that he didn't have an answer about his "intentions" because there is no answer for that. I do believe the only reason that question is ever asked is when a parent is subconsciously hoping for a bad answer to make saying no easier. o_o ...........................
..I keep getting distracted, so to make a long story shorter, we fought for quite awhile.. but eventually, my mum realized that there is nothing she can do about me moving. She realized that the only reasons she's not upset about it is because of her own fears and personal worries. So today, while we chatted after my appointment with my therapist (last appointment ever!) ... Lynne (therapist) told her everything I've been saying and I think hearing it from a professional who is also a mother and knows from personal experience about having children leave home when she didn't agree.. it made my mum feel a bit more at ease knowing that she doesn't have to encourage it, or even condone it.. that all I want is for her to wish me luck. ...That it's normal to be upset and scared.. So, she realized all that and said it. She said she wishes me the best of luck and to be safe.
So, needless to say, that made my day and I'm even more confident than ever. ...After all the fighting and screaming and crying I've done this weekend, today(techinically yesterday, huh?) was good. I'm happy. Justin's happy. My mum is still supporting me even though she doesn't like it. ...the only catch now.. is I have to write my father and tell him, in so many words to stop harassing my mum about me when it's me he should be talking to. ...ugh. He always does this. ...Bitches at my mum..badgers her to take care of all these things and it really upsets her. .. I'm sick of his bullshit. Sick of him trying to be a part of my life after not having been for the past almost 18 years. ...He doesn't know me or my situation and I'm fucking tired of him only making contact when something big is going on. He comes in from nowhere threatening me to stay "home" .... saying I'll end up raped, beaten, abused and killed if I go. o_0 ..... He's a tool. Don't even tell me about rape. Clueless asshole. ..While I'm at it, I might end up telling him off completely.. telling him to stay the fuck out of my life. ...that if I want to talk to him, I will. If not, leave me alone. ..motherfucker.
I have a lot of stuff to do! Going to work on getting my shit together tomorrow. Hopefully I'll wake up before 3:30 so I can actually get something done, though. :P
Well, I'm hungry. I was talking to Justin on AIM but I think he passed out at the computer. ...My god, he's adorable<3
[Over and out.]
-Jess