tomorrow begins the cosmic countdown.
18 days until i turn 18 years old. it's so exciting that i just peed a little.
i am exhausted in all senses of the term.
my body is sore all over. new muscles are tired from being recently developed and old muscles are tired from being recently used. My throat and voice ache from talking and my ears are tired of hearing loud melodies of cacophony. my feet are weary of wearing my jazz flats. my ass is tired of sitting on that shitty bike seat. i think i may have bruised my tail bone on that thing.
my heart is sore from my over zealous expectations, my mind is overworked and underpaid, my soul isn't being acknowledged to its full capacity, my spirit can't seem to find that connection, and my inner light is considering switching from candle to fluorescent.
however, i still see chances everywhere and i think that is the difference.
once you lose sight of possibilities, you lose sight of yourself.
if we had as much voice in what we got as we do in what we want, i'm not sure how much better off we'd be but, i think we'd all believe we were happy. and a delusion of happiness might as well be happiness if you never know the difference, right? but, is that the risk you take, the possibility that you may wake up one day and understand that your entire life has been one mistake built upon another. your entire foundation of everything that is right in the world is ignorance and bliss upon a pile and heap of dishonesty and denial. that is a lot of pressure to find a plane of existence where perfection exists.
kinda scary.
i'm going to go shower and embrace my sleeping bones.
birthday
