Scared @ MindSay



 

   
Date Summary

how we met: He used to be a customer at the store I worked at and we always said hi and whatnot but never talked. I mean this guy has an amazing body and I assumed he was a meat head. Well i was on OKCupid the other night and I saw someone made a new profile in my area and it was him! I debated for 10 minutes whether or not to talk to him but I decided to, even though i was insecure, and we talked a long time. Every night since then we'd talk for at least 2 hours, and then we went on the date last night

 

the date: well my date last night was excellent. I got there before him because the place was hard to find and neither one of us had been before. I was so nervous driving because when I get scared my chest hurts and my head hurt and sometimes my back sweats but fortunately I didnt sweat. anyhoo, he pulled up and I was so scared but he gave me a hug and I felt a little better. We had to wait 30 minutes for a table but we had fun talking outside and he kept touching my leg but it was ok with me. We had baked brie and bruchetta (I spelled this wrong I think) which was amazing! I had some sort of shishkabob thing which was nice but the dessert was awesome. It was creme brulee cheesecake. orgasmic-ness.

 

anyhoo, moving on. Halfway through or meal and conversation he asked to see my hands, and I was surprised andhe just held my hands, and played with them tracing the lines in my palms and whatnot. It was really nice ^_^ and then when we were done and were just sitting and talking I had put my feet up next to him and he started massaging my feet.

 

We then drove over in his car to Barnes and Noble so he could get some coffee. As we were walking up to it he turned to me and held my hands and looked like he was going to kiss me, but I got scared and layed my head on his chest. When I drew back to look at him he kissed me and even though I was scared I really liked it and then we went inside. He grabbed an iced tea, and then we sat outside on a bench and made out/cuddled for over an hour. I hate making out, but I love kissing him. At one point I was trying to lift his shirt up to see his  8 pack, but he wouldnt let me and we got in a tickle fight on a bench which was very amusing. At one point I was straddled across his lap kissing him, but I was just manipulating him into staying longer.

 

After a good amount of time had passed I released him and we got in his car and drove back over to where mine was. We made out some more/ there was some groping and slight boobage. I got out of his car to get my camera out of mine, and when I turned around I kissed him and then he picked me up and pinned me against the car with my legs around his waist. He was able to hold me over 10 minutes and wasnt tired at all. He's an amazing kisser <3

 

finally I forced myself to say goodbye and I drove home.

 
 
   
 

noticing
someone pointed out today, that ever since yesterday's episode.... i havent cracked a smile. That i'm this serious person, no funny jokes, no silly comments. they're worried. :(
I'm worried too. I'm not ok. physically i'm all good, and i'm grateful for what i have and the message that was sent out to me. But mentally and emotionally... i'm not ok. They're right, its going to take some time, and i will more than likely be like this for while. i dont know. my mind isnt really reacting well right now.
last night i fell asleep crying, in tears, scared. ::sighs::   Time will do its thing, meanwhile. my mom wants me to go to see Father Rafael so that he can bless me. She's scared that this mess has scared me... as in who i am... scared me away. :(
 
 
 

   
(no subject)

I may i have a big crush on somebody.............. his name is matt i am so scared to ask him out i really really like him heĀ  is the first person i ever liked i mean really liked in a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goodbye

kelsey

 
 
   
 

Something that stuck to me

"Sometimes the things that we're scared of... are the things that are most worth while."


I'm scared of something... scared of getting attached. But I think I already have. So now what? I'm scared of what may/may not come next. This coming from the girl who's had her heart broken by the one person she truly loves. This coming from the person who said she'd never go back... this coming from the person who might be in love.

 
 
 
 

   
(no subject)

Well last night I became scared, not just for me but for basically for everyone that is alive today. I'm scared and I did not sleep with my light off. I don't scared all that easily but this scared me to the point of that for about 45 minutes I dozed off next to my mom in my parent's bed. I'm scared, and now I'm going to start living my life right.

 
 
   
 

Showing 1 - 5.   [ Next ]
 
Latest Comment
Re: ...... - well we find out today if i get the famlies first.. which if i do they take it out of him... ...

Read...


 
© 2005-2007 MindSay Interactive LLC
| Terms of Service
| Privacy Policy
My Account
Inbox
Account Settings
Lost Password?
Logout
Blog
Update Blog
Edit Old Entries
Pick a Theme
Customize Design
Modify Plugins
Community
Your Profile
Wiki Pages
MindSay Tags
Video & Photos
Geographic Directory
Inside MindSay
About MindSay
MindSay and RSS
Report Spam
Contact Us
Help