pain

I hate dentistry. I am in so much pain right now it's not even funny. Had to cancel my job interview today because I can't hardly talk without spitting. And now I have to go to the stupid f-ing duplex again today for about another 4 hrs. I haven't eaten, I can't eat til eleven and I'm in pain. I hate it how when my little sister is sick or in pain she gets out of doing things, but when I am- no no...I have to labor still. This summer is so bi-polar. Some parts of it are completely shitty and full of misery while other parts are the best things in the world.


I hurt.

EDIT:

So now that the novacaine has worn off...my teeth are def. in pain. Soreness to the max. But I guess things could be worse. I could have no teeth at all.

However, in all seriousness-things could be MUCH worse.

So I worked at the duplex for another ermmm.....4.5hrs. It is nice to know that I am being paid for all of this. I'm getting paid for 12 hrs at alteast $7 an hr. Not bad. Money would help out my current situation a lot!~!

As I mentioned earlier in this note, this summer has been quite bi-polar. It has definatly been a summer of great growth and change. I shall explain....

Last summer as I went on my way off to college I thought I had everything figured out. I thought I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing in life. I was supposed to climb the international ladder and work as an Ambassador for the UN. I was for sure that this was were God was calling me to.
After a often horrendous roommate experience first semester and a horrible relationship I wasn't quite sure what was going on. As I moved in with my friend and new roommate Sarah in January things started to look up, a bit. I was finally getting sleep at nights and wasn't afraid to approach my roommate with concerns. During the entire school year I felt bad ans guily for not attending my Bible Study and for not going to Campus Crusade. With skating and homework I just didn't think I had the time. I rarely made it to church. Looking back I'm a little saddened, but realize that all those things happened to complete the bigger picture.
Those that know me well, know that for me Kirkmont is the high point of my year. It's the one place where I really feel myself take time out to bask in God's glory. Watching children grow next to one another is probably the most awesome thing ever. To borrow the words of another Kirkmontier, Kirkmont is a "thin place". Every summer, atleast once I take a walk around the Labrynth. It is my time to reflect on my life over the past year. Sitting by the rock each year I feel so close to God. The sky seems to come lower to reveal everything that it holds within. This year I had a lot to reflect over. As I sat there, alone, to a certain extent, I could feel God rearranging the priorities in my life. I could sense that He was telling me that I wasn't exactly where He wanted me. This was the point where my life kind of did a 180.
A ton has happened as O have briefly mentioned in previous notes. to recap- I've changed my major (something my parents are just now adjusting to). I am now a Comparative Religions Major with a Minor in Child Studies. I'm looking into going to Seminary and then becoming a Presby Minister or a Youth Pastor of some kind. I've also made the decision to NOT skate synchro for Miami anymore. that decision had been weighing on my shoulders for awhile before camp started however, like I said....camp made a lot of things become somewhat clearer. Thirdly, I'm in a new relationship(however it is so much more than that- it's more like a partnership). Something that I was really NOT expecting to become reality going into camp. God surely does work in mysterious ways.
This incredible gift that has been placed in front of me has been proving to be a HUGE blessing on my life. It is starting to take over all of the worry and doubts that I had previously.

As for the not so happy part of the summer, there are only two big things. 1) My dad moved out. 2) My parents just don't listen to me..when they do they don't always try and hear me. I keep reminding myself that not even these things are as bad as others have got them. I am pretty darned blessed. When I reflect God gently reminds me that I could have not even been given an opportunity to live a life for the Lord (I was adopted).

Well this has been great to write and now I need to shower.

God Bless...or in Travis (my Orthodox Jewish friend's) hand G-d Bless!