there is not much to see in ohio...only the experience of the weather changing every few hours...haha

My family is from Ohio. I want to see the Browns play. I want to go to the Hall of Fame. 

yeah i live here in the buckeye state...those are good things to want to see..why ur in cleveland watch the indians...theyre amazing

Yeah, that's another thing on my list. 

I sometimes don't know what to do when I see someone cry - it may've been that your parents acknowledged the fact but didn't know what to do about it, or that what upset you only went as far as the film - they might not realise that it may be reminding you of something deeper. Maybe they thought you needed time, or wanted to do something longer term than the comfort of the moment but didn't know what.

 

If they really did regard the film as more important, that's their fault and it should be them who shoulders the hurt - but I (at least hope) they're not that bad - they may have some silly ideas  but I'd think they'd still care about you - even though it may've been counterproductive to your wellbeing, when they intervened about your HS, that was out of care in one form (about your future).

 

I think of going through crap like I'm 'levelling up' - I have no idea what tangable words to use to describe the rest, other than using life as an oppertunity to figure (precisely this kind of) shit out. Again, you don't have to achieve things like having a car to lead a meaningful life, and you might as well try stuff out that you wanted to do, if only for the curiosity...

 

And if you did ever come to the UK, i'd like to meet you - perhaps even pull a few strings and arrange a 'hotel' of sorts

According to them, like you said, they didn't know what exactly do to and decided to just let me have some time to calm down before they tried to talk to me. I did let them know though why I was crying and I guess they understood.
I know I don't have to have a car to have a meaningful life, but you know when my parents are always practically begging me to get a car - it just drives me crazy! I don't really want a car, but then again I hate having to rely on other people if I want to go somewhere; nothing is within walking/bicycle-riding distance.

I do plan on going to the UK and if I do, I'll definitely hit you up. I would love to meet you! You're so much fun just talking to, you must be an absolute blast in person!

Thankyou

before you i've never been able to talk to anyone before on half these things and actually get taken seriously, or have my ideas actually considered - by being open minded i suppose you deserve to hear ideas more - particularly if they'd give you peace of mind . Some people think i'm mad just because they aren't willing to understand / that there's stuff i'd need to communicate (pending the oppertunity) before they could - but you do understand because you've been through the mill + seen it for yourself.

 

I'm fortunate in that stuff's probably closer here because the towns are close because the country's small - and that petrol being expensive (approx £4.20/gal), even some people who can drive decide not to. If you do drive you could improve the performance with some gofaster stripes!

I have no idea why people do not take you seriously or just stare at you in awe. You are a god damn genius! You never cease to amaze me. I am always willing to listen to what you have to say!

I can't believe how expensive the gas is there! That is fucking insane! Why the Hell is it so expensive there? We'll just stick close to home. lol

I think it's because you're willing to hear that you see what i mean + you see the intention behind what I say + you have experience of appropriate situations to relate to. I really do appreciate your listening - interestingly I've noticed that elsewhere in life positive acknowledgements are silent - but certainly noticable by the way the person deals with someone - i'm working on this, I think it's silent partly because the one who acknowledges knows that it'll be noticed if the other person is also perceptive- and also because it's harder to fake natural behaviour than it is words (I doubt anybody can pretend to be of a different mind indefinitely w/o cracks showing)- but on the internet natural behaviour can only be seen through the pattern of words - so words must be used, and words are sometimes the only way to express feelings online - if the words match the natural patten, I can be confident it's genuine - particularly when there's no evident reason for it not to be. People (including myself) seem more inclined to respond to threat than reward - it's as if the negative carries more weighting - even on the level where time feels like it goes slower when bored/in pain, etc - but flies by when it's positive, and a mortal threat is virtually unignorable. Threats are also cheap.

 

People at work tend to try to explain me using their pre-formed philosophy + they second-guess my intention behind things I do because they expect the mind will react in a predictable certain way to certain things - and they don't know me on any deep level, and their perspective of me (and with that, their willingness) is subject to any prejucices they have about the type of person I am - I have a very hard time getting through to people who think that just because I'm half their age, lacking confidence, and think differently to them, that by default I must be wrong - sometimes these people tell me not to think too much about a point they don't want to address, and they are sometimes afraid of how others would percieve them if they took a less popular stance - it seems to matter to them

 

I wait until a topic comes up, then jump at it - but that depends on waiting for the oppertunity - this is where tinternet's good. I don't always remember something unless prompted, and it's more appropriate to say something when it's needed - otherwise it'd be blind preaching with no end. BTW feul is expensive due to tax I think, but currency rates distort things a bit + don't represent buying power in real terms. Cars tend to be small + fairly efficient because of the cost (i.e. our old car has a 1.1L engine), it's my understanding that feul is cheaper in the US because of subsidy - but our healthcare is free here by contrast so it kinda equalises out

Can I just say that I kinda relate to most of what you've written. 

Really? That's good to know that someone gets me. It doesn't make the world seem so damn lonely.

Yeh, I know what you mean. I was reading some of your past entries and was just nodding, going 'mmhmm, yep, that's me' LOL

lol Wow.