For the first time in my college career, I am not looking forward to ending the semester at all. Futher more, I am trying to come up with ways so I will not be graduating. I am not sure if this is sad or not, but it has taken 4 years of disappointment to bring me to a moment where I have found a nitch where I am happy, entertained, challenged, inspired by, and loved by and it happens the last semester I am at college. Not only have I found 4 philo majors whose company I enjoy, but I also have gained a nitch with the professors. And now, in 3 weeks time it will be swept away. On top of finding a true college experience, the one I always thought I would have, I am leaving the semester before 3 classes I am greatly interested in are being offered. I have rarely known such disappointment at leaving something, other than a woman, that I really have grown to love. So goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend… goodbye academia…
All of this, well realizing what I am letting go, has happened within the last week or so. Last night, was just the best party… of 5 philosophers sitting around getting drunk and singing karaoke with a Professor. Sadly I can count the number of times I have had, what I consider, true college experiences and this was the 5th or 6th one. I had always had this image of what college was supposed to be like for me. I had always heard stories of going out with professors and drinking and talking into the night about whatever subject matter you were into. Sadly I have not had either of those moments until this semester. I guess I owe a lot of to someone who has stepped into my life and changed so many things, internally and externally. I was thinking about it today and the amount of blessings that sometime come with certain people as they enter your lives is rarely noticed(at least by me) until hindsight. It hit me square in the jaw today as I was driving for 4 hours(2 hours too much) attempting to get home from school. I take many things for granted, yet when I am able to acknowledge something so… truly magnificent as what that person has done for me, I find I lack the words to say how much it means and I lack the action to show how powerfully moved I have been. As much as it does suck that I am leaving all these great things behind, I would have most likely not known them if it were not for this person. The power of connections in humans to open up others in different and profound ways amazes me right now. I am just left right now with a great humility to all my friends and family for opening up my senses in various, sometimes pleasurable and sometimes painful ways, and letting me enjoy the spectrum of life a little more.
And so, I hope I will not forget the night when my philo teacher sang Louis Armstrong, Johhny Cash, Billy Idol, and David Bowie after convincing us that he was God’s gift to humanity and just the best damned arrogant philo teacher that exist, intentionally or extentionally in modern times. And thank God for some students for not showing up.
