At the point that my husband Lane and I enter the Women's Institute for Fertility, Endocrinology and Menopause on December 7th, I have a few things figured out. The first and most important to me is that there are literally thousands of women in my situation. There are articles in recently printed articles of Time, Newsweek, People and so many other popular magazines involving my situation that I feel as if I am in wide company.
The second thing I've figured out is that if the women want it, the scientists will come. The scientists will bring along their beakers, phlebotomy equipment, sampling vials, chronometers, calibration sensors, exam tables, cotton swabs and latex gloves.
They will bring along their collective desire for the advancement of fertility as well as their own personal motivation to expand their bank accounts.
If the women of the 35-45 age bracket want their own children, the medical community for reasons boosted by both occupational gratification and selfish avarice, will come.
I feel at this point that our chances of buying airfare to China are slim.
I've figured out that I can A) wait to become pregnant again with trepidation or B) proceed with testing to have an internal look-see. You've guessed it; I chose B).
We park our Jeep Cherokee (purchased to safely tote our little one in the future) with rare parking-karma at our sleeve just outside the clinic. Hand-in-hand we enter a waiting/reception room like any other. Contemporary, well lit and predictable. I glance at the magazines scattered atop glass and Formica with approval. I turn my mind away from all the reasons couples visit this clinic. We are here at this particular time for mere preliminary information. We don't know enough yet to suppose, surmise or assume or make presumptions.
First we are given 5 pages of inquiries to answer, fill in and check off. I instantly note the list of lengthy YES/NO boxes in the section referring to medical history. My husband leans to me recalling his having already filled out identical paperwork when he visited WIFEM to have his sperm count analyzed. I coax him into returning to the reception desk to inquire upon whether the clinic may still have that paperwork thus relieving the need for his meandering through it once again. He rejoins me with a slow smile. Kisses me. This particular kiss isn't really a kiss at all; it is the very manner in which he lets me know in any situation that the answer is no.
I soon find myself engrossed in the YES/NO box medical history portion of the 5 page in-processing formology. YES I have headaches. YES are these headaches sinus related. YES have you had an abnormal pap smear. YES premature menopause run in your family. YES alcoholism run in your family.
Further along in the YES/NO box medical history YES fetal tissue tested for abnormal histology. YES fetal tissue tested for genetic issues. YES were these tests negative. NO are you taking medication. NO smoker. NO allergies. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
At some point during the formology, my husband turns to me and asks if I am nervous. I let him know once again that I am not nervous but only curious.
A time later a copy of my Driver's License and Insurance Card are taken and placed into my file. A $30 co-pay is submitted. Then we are led into a consultation room where soonthereafter we will be seen by Dr. Guttman.
Dr. G is completely disarming. She opens with banter about our Eagles, who are going to play in the Super Bowl this year. After a bit of mutual admiration all around for the Birds, it begins.
Dr. G doesn't think I look at all 39. My husband squeezes my hand...
How long have we been trying?
Have we been pregnant?
Was the fetal tissue from our miscarriage tested for genetic abnormalities?
Do either of us have Jewish blood?
Am I currently under any type of fertility treatment (drugs)?
Have I ever taken Clomed?
Have I been immunized for Chicken Pox?
Have I had Chicken Pox?
Is their a history of miscarriage in my family?
And on and on...
Indications:
I will be tested through blood work to screen out any number of issues associated with things that can hinder a woman's (any woman's) probability of a viable conception. As both my husband and I have even minute Jewish ethnicity we are advised as to issues regarding such background, blood-wise.
The first round of testing is two-fold in direction- lab work/examination/procedures that will continue into mid-month is for purposes of 'ruling out' as well as preparation for beginning fertility drugs (Clomed). If anything challenging is found it will be dealt with at such time.
This day:
I have my blood drawn into a dozen glass vials to be used in testing for more issues than I can remember... Thyroid issues, genetic compatibility issues, hormonal issues etc. ...
My husband's blood is also drawn though in far less quantities. He will also be tested for genetic and genetic compatibility issues. I am given an internal exam which reveals that my uterus is postioned properly.
We are given instructions to have intercourse on December 12th. I will return to WIFEM on December 15th for a post coital test to verify that the mucous in my vagina is not destroying my husbands sperm before it has the opportunity to enter my womb. On the 15th I will also undergo an ultrasound to determine if my fallopian tube(s) are opening/presenting follicles which indicate preparation for ovulation as well as to find if my uterus is lined properly to receive a fertilized egg.
On the 15th my blood will be drawn once again to prepare for my 'Clomed Challenge'.
Next month if I have not conceived I will begin Clomed therapy on the third day of my new cycle.
After our appointment ends, I find myself feeling proactive in my current situation. My husband talks quite a bit on our return trip to our home. He is very happy with my decision to research our situation and to make today's appointment. He and I have a really great conversation as we go over the various procedures I will/may have to endure. He feels as if I am brave. I let him know I am determined. He is proud of me. I tell him that there is nothing I would not do to have his child. He then pulls into the bike lane on 4th Street, sets the hazard lights and lays one hell of a passionate kiss on me.
I feel like a Queen, which is sincerely appropriate as I have married a King...
As the results from my blood testing return from the lab I find my hormone levels are 78/10- both very good levels.
