Charlie came to see me today. Charlie is my picky-nees friend who belongs to my neighbor that lives down the way somewhat catacorner to me. The neighbor who, in her late 60's/early 70's, still dresses like she's in her 20's.
(Funny story: My son went to the mailbox which is right next to the fire station and across from that neighbor. He came back looking fairly distressed. Thinking something was terribly wrong, I immediately stopped everything and asked what happened. On his way to the kitchen he tells me 'Old Lady Hotpants' was out there in the yard all bent over showing the world her glory. He yanks open the kitchen drawer, grabs my lemon zester and says: Quick! Clean out my eyes!!!)
I don't generally care for small dogs but me and Charlie do ok. Occasionally, Charlie will sneak out from Old Hotpants' clutches and make his way to my steps and give a 'yarp, yarp, yarp'. (He's afraid to come up. He's very close to the ground- and he likes to keep it that way.) When he yarps, I will usually then come down so that we can play very important games; one of which is 'pick-uh-neezes loves cheezes'. This is basically where I grab a handful of Cheez-Its …and Charlie snarfs them. (You should see it. I will say: Chaaaarlieeee, pick-uh-neezes loves cheeeeezes…and then he will twirl in circles so fast it looks like a big hairy buffing wheel. How he eats without throwing up, I have no clue. If only I could get him up the stairs to do my floors. I worry about being accused of dognapping though.)
Then we played our other very important game called 'cantgitme' in which Charlie runs around my feet and I pretend to try and grab him and he scoots his butt close to the ground and takes off just in time. He feels very smart playing this game because I can 'never catch him'. He is obviously way too much dog for me.
Most of the time when Charlie comes over, he and I will harass each other for awhile before he wanders off- but never out of eyesight of his home. He's a good boy. He aptly performs all duties of Protecting Hearth and Home and the Snorting and Lickage of Crotches as well as any other canine.
When I first got to know the ragmop, I figured he ran off for the same reason my mother's dog runs off- older ladies like small dogs because their easier to handle; but sometimes little dogs have lots of energy and they want to play and have more fun than what they can get. It's not personal. Just canine.
But today something else occurred to me when Old Lady Hotpants discovered he was missing and started calling. You wouldn't think a picky-nees could bulge its eyes to any further extent than they already are but take it from me- they can. He didn't wait for nothing- he tore off. But when she came strolling down the street after him in her extra tiny sailor midriff and extra short cutoff jeans, I could see why.
I bet that dog damns being only colorblind.
dogs
