From an email ... funny enough to post here! 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs.Dierker,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Dierker are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. '

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
 
   

 


 
 
kitte on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
oh my goodness did i ever need that laugh! thanks for sharing!
velvetdreams on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
lol My pleasure, for sure!  Enjoy your weekend!
darkseid on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
exactly
velvetdreams on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
lol  How are you C?  
darkseid on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
I'm ....  coping

Thia's absence is really taking a toll..
haven't been able to sleep appropriately since I put her down
otherwise, things could get better--I NEED SOME WORK
LOL


How You BB?
velvetdreams on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
I understand @ Thia ... It's amazing how much a part of our lives our furry loves can become.  I hoping to adopt a new pup in the Spring ... after I get my back yard fenced in well.  April needs a canine friend to play with while I'm at work.  She and the kitties play sometimes, but ... she over powers them quickly!  hahaha

Other than that ... I'm kinda trying to understand the mentality of so many people who are so filled with hate, selfishness, and greed that they're willing to sacrifice everything ... sacred,  ya know?  I purposely avoid the news because it hurts to much to hear of the extent of man's inhumanity to man.  I don't get down too often, and don't stay down when I do ... but *sigh*  When will we ever learn?  When will we ever learn? 
Warm hugs, my friend!
darkseid on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
hugs back..

a new pup!
fun indeed for April



it's highly probable that we will never learn
the end will be a pathetic whimper, not a bang
myclette on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

*dies laughing*
velvetdreams on
Re: This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
isn't this hilarious???  haha  I know ... I laughed, well ... still laughing!  
 
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