retreat
You and Alice make me so jealous. I was telling someone tonight how I sell garden supplies, BBQ's and lawn furniture and have no yard of my own. I was telling my Mom the irony of this and then I said I guess it is better than when i was clergy and despised the church so much. Everyday at work I keep thinking of what I would do now with my newfound knowledge if i still had my 3/4 acre yard as when I was still married.
Ray, this is what happens after 39 years of marriage and working your butt off during the whole time ;~) We weren't able to afford anything for years and years. Don't be jealous - it's tons of work. I see the couple up the street from us who moved into an apartment years ago, and they have all this spare time because they are not stuck doing house and yard work. That's the tradeoff. You can have your own place, but then you are married to the money pit too...we have over a half acre here and it has become way too much for us as we've gotten older. Which is why we had to have the yard become more low-maintenance. No grass.
I sound more bitter than i really am. I really wouldn't want some of it. I miss the wonderful rock work I did do 10 years ago. But its a long story.
No, you don't sound bitter, Ray. It just sounds like you miss it sometimes. And I miss the other lifestyle sometimes - one where we just rented and someone else did all the maintenance. As I said, it really is a trade-off. Truly a yin/yang situation. When we own, we can't be kicked out, unless we owe the gubmint for taxes. And we've only owned this place for 12 years now, after renting it for 24 years from my in-laws. (during that whole time, we did the remodeling, rebuilding and clearing the land of blackberries) On the other hand, we are really married to this place and it is truly a money pit, being 115 years old. We're getting there though, just in time to have to move to a retirement place ;~) (I hope not!)
Actually, I am planning on really enjoying the backyard this summer, as it is now fixed up well enough to have folks over to celebrate. That's the good thing about some place like this - we can have folks over. Again, the other side to that is that if you find a great rental, some of them have common areas that are quite nice and you don't have to do the maintenance! There must be an in-between, yes?
We were very fortunate with our last rental in Toronto. We lived 1/3 mile from the city's ravine parklands. Our series of parks was 6 miles long and then by walking one block you could go another five miles.
I found a little lookout high in the woods on one side and moved a few rocks to make a sitting area.
I found a place by an old wall like that in Perth 3 years ago. I used it for a year and then it was fenced off.
Maybe i should make that my new goal to find a new place like that.
I found a little lookout high in the woods on one side and moved a few rocks to make a sitting area.
I found a place by an old wall like that in Perth 3 years ago. I used it for a year and then it was fenced off.
Maybe i should make that my new goal to find a new place like that.
Finding a place like that would be a great goal. That reminds me of when we lived in Philadelphia (my spouse and I). We rented a place in an old Victorian in a section of the city right above the University of Pennsylvania. It was cooperative housing - the whole area of Victorians. And we were really close to Fairmount Park and I could bike into work at the American Friends Service Committee, past the famous Philadelphia Art Museum. It was a wonderful area. That kind of rental is fantastic. (though we had cockroaches ;~) - ick)
Our best neighbourhood years were when we were first married and although we went to a cruddy bible college we had the University of Toronto campus nearby. In twillingate I was on a 1/2 mile by 3 mile island but because I was a celebratory (Minister) it was hard to find a place to go without getting phone calls about (why did you pass my place and not stop in). One wonderful old man knew my desire for privacy so he had a fairly private entrance and would let me hide my car in his garage. I would go out the back door and take a mile hike to a hidden cove with a natural stone arch 75 feet high. Melanie called the place "Frockwater" (Throw Rocks in Water)
I think being a minister and a doctor are two of the most difficult occupations you can have, besides being a minister or doctor's wife ;~) I have a friend out here who decided not to do the traditional minister's wife thing, and she had a rough time of it in the beginning. Her husband is UCC, so that makes it a little easier, and this is a very liberal town.
I never was in the medical side of things. I played both roles in the other side. Four years after leaving the ministry myself my ex wife entered it. neither of us liked the roles as spouses or as ministers. It was really hard in her time because she was driven out for being in favor of gay ordination and turning in a church family for sexual abuse. For years we floated around great distances from home trying to find a church home. Eventually she came back to the church she had served. I wouldn't because in the intervening time I unblocked having being abused as a child by the people in that church ( it was my home town). I drove 35 miles away to a house church in Kingston with Melanie until a member there kept hitting on my daughter. Now I am involved in no congregations though I still have a faith. Basically i am a quaker with no place to siut and be quiet. lol
Good God (joking ;~) Being on both sides of the ministry must really be trying. Yeah, I saw so much hypocrisy in fundamentalist religions. I was raised in one - don't ask and I won't tell...And if you are kind of a Quaker with no place to meditate, you might consider finding a meeting nearby. We couldn't find a meeting nearby that felt right for us. Though we should try again.
The nearest to me is Ottawa. I work every weekend and have no car so it might as well be on the moon.
bummer, Ray. Anything remotely resembling Quaker meetings nearby? We have a Center for Spiritual Living here, which is very liberal, and maybe not even Christian. Do you have anything like that there? Here's their website:
(lots of my friends go here)
There is a group I would like to go to here that meets once a month but always when I am working. It is a spiritual films club. They bring in short movies from all over thr world. They meet on a Sunday afternoon. I may actually request a rare sunday off to go there sometime. I have only had 0ne sunday other than easter off in a year and it didn't fall on the right time.
Wow, working every Sunday has got to be difficult. That spiritual film club sounds very interesting...hope you can get there sometime. I would love to see a list of their films, if it is available anywhere. I am still on a spiritual journey, albeit one that doesn't include any organized religion ;~)
send M to Portland I will feed him and house him for building me an arbor that echos the triangle over my front entry. plus all the pie he can eat !!!!. (also trying to think if I know any young women for him, heh heh heh.
When the gate and fences (all lattice, hand made by him) are finished, I'll take more photos. Actually, there will be 3 gates, but that one main gate into the gardens will be inset into that roofed structure.
M actually loves Portland and has lots of friends there, but hasn't been there in a couple of years. Hmmm...women. I'm not sure what is happening. He and an old girlfriend have been spending LOTS of time together. He swears they are just friends now, but they have lots in common. I'm not sure how I feel. She's lots older than him, which would most likely mean if they got serious, no children. I think she is at least 40, maybe more. She's very attractive, and a jewelry designer and is very interested in gardening and similar things. Right now, he's really a rosarian. Can name lots of different groupings much more than I can. He's got 41 different roses, most very old.
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