college
If your friends found out everything and walked away, they were never real friends to begin with. And you will find people who stay, in fact, Ill be your frieend and no matter what is hurting you or whats going on, I wont just up n leave.
Life is supposed to be this hard. You are given trials but you are only given what you can handle, no matter how helpless you may feel, you truly are strong enough.
As you write the words in here, you are starting.
When you get to the bottom, you have to look up.
My advice for practically everyone I've ever talked to who was depressed and tired of being that way comes from personal experience: You have to pretend, for an hour at a time, that you're not depressed and act like it and try to FEEL it. Which is the key, really. You may pretend for others, but not for yourself. I used to pretend for others, but it wasn't until I pretended to let the deep purple morass lose its grip on me that I felt it actually go away.
You write that you go to church again. That's good. Look up. I assure you that God doesn't want you to feel like this forever. He wants you to rely on him for all that is in you. So look up. Reach up. Let him pull you out.
As much as folks rail against their depression, it can get kind of comfy after a while, being that way. We blame all sorts of things and reasons and ourselves... But in the end, we have to look up, take a step and keep taking them.
What do you do when it all falls apart? You have two choices: 1) pick up each little piece and put it together again, allowing for cracks but seeing the new possibilities and 2) seek something else entirely.
My advice for practically everyone I've ever talked to who was depressed and tired of being that way comes from personal experience: You have to pretend, for an hour at a time, that you're not depressed and act like it and try to FEEL it. Which is the key, really. You may pretend for others, but not for yourself. I used to pretend for others, but it wasn't until I pretended to let the deep purple morass lose its grip on me that I felt it actually go away.
You write that you go to church again. That's good. Look up. I assure you that God doesn't want you to feel like this forever. He wants you to rely on him for all that is in you. So look up. Reach up. Let him pull you out.
As much as folks rail against their depression, it can get kind of comfy after a while, being that way. We blame all sorts of things and reasons and ourselves... But in the end, we have to look up, take a step and keep taking them.
What do you do when it all falls apart? You have two choices: 1) pick up each little piece and put it together again, allowing for cracks but seeing the new possibilities and 2) seek something else entirely.
Those two choices gave me some ideas....thank you both for your kind advice. =]
I really enjoyed reading your blog. why? because i also "suffer" from Anxiety, from that it is quite interesting for me to read other people blogs that are feeling similar to what i am. I know how hard it can feel at some stages, i know how anxiety comes in big waves, but you have to try to get through them, talk to your mother, or even better tell all this to your therapist. I know that i am not a therapist or something, but i know exactly what you feel like. I go through that to, but i get panic attacks. It's good though, to express your feelings through blogging, if that is what you like. I think though, that you should take some time, and just do things that you enjoy.
i hope things get better.
best wishes, katinka. x
i hope things get better.
best wishes, katinka. x
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