Tomorrow would have been Jesse's birthday, If only he knew how much i miss him, how much i still love and care about him even though he's not here for me to hold. I want to be with him, i need to see his face. i've been suicidal for the past few weeks but have been to scared to really say anything or talk about it...This blog is the only place i can really place my thoughts and know that they might be safe. No one reads this thing anyway. They won't know it until im long dead. I can't picture another year without having him here. He hurt me sooo much, if only he could see the pain im in now due to his death.

It's been 3 years since he did it, shouldn't i be over it by now?
 
   

 


 
 
court55 on
Re: Suicide....
Well, I am glad to see you are still here. I talked to you earlier. I just want you to know hon that before I left for Dallas for two weeks i checked your blog at least once a day, sometimes more to see if you posted anything. I read it. Because I care about you, and you post things on here.  I hope that you think about how much it hurts you because he died and realize that it would hurt others just as much if you died. Maybe you did. and that's why you were on the chat earlier.   i don't know. But I love you. A lot. Don't forget that. So does God. I know that sounds cheesy and stuff but it's true. He really does.

*hugs*
~Court
 
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