[misfortune teller]

My Muse has returned from her personal day away, and to show me how much she loves me, she bought me a fortune cookie.  Or, more accurately, she had one sent over to my table at lunch today.  (Or, even more accurately, I pretend she sent it to me, because it makes a much better story, doesn't it?  That was a rhetorical question.)

A thrilling time is in your immediate future.

Or so says my cookie's fortune - but my Muse was not present for translation purposes.

I think there should be a hotline set up for such services.  Dial 1-888-FOR-TUNE and friendly operators will be standing by (what exactly are friendly operators doing when they "stand by", I wonder?) to take your calls and answer your questions about your cookie's fortune.

I have so many things I want to know, you know!  Here are my questions.

1) What makes this particular time thrilling?
2) Is this time referring to an event, or say, a specific time, like, oh, I don't know, 11:11pm?  Or perhaps the minute I post this, whenever that may be?  Publish Entry and then The Thrill is Gone?
3) Is this time to be a thrill as in a thriller (i.e. go out to unlock my bicycle to find, well, no bicycle and a little note attached to my bike lock that reads "if you want to see your bicycle alive again, you'll do exactly what I write)?  Will Alfred Hitchcock make a cameo appearance?  (If his ghost showed up, I know I'd be thrilled, in a pee-my-MC-pee-pants kind of way.)
4) When exactly is immediate?  Is it immediately?  At 11:11pm, you will have reached your immediate future.  Please press the pound key.
5) Isn't immediate future somewhat of a paradox?  (Kind of like Now and Laters - shouldn't they be Now or Laters?  Or The Future is Now...so soon to be The Future was Then...as soon as you catch up, it's past, no?)
6) How thrilling a time can it be if it fits into an immediate future?  Either the immediate future must be very large or the thrill must be very small, right?
7) When did I receive this immediate future of mine where I'll supposedly find this thrilling time?  Is it hidden somewhere?  Or will I, perhaps, get my immediate future sometime in my immediate future (provided an immediate future is even possible)?

And my biggest concern is this...how do I know if this thrilling time will even be mine once I find it?  What if someone just spotted my immediate future and thought to themselves "Hmm...this looks like a great spot to store my thrilling time while I go to use the bathroom"?  The immediate future is clearly mine, whatever it is, but I don't know about the thrilling time.

The measure of my Muse's love for me is directly proportional to the amount of confusion she can cause me, or so I'm beginning to believe.  That's the kind of relationship we have.  But I'm going to refuse to be thrilled at that revelation in the hope that it has nothing to do with my so-called fortune's coming true.

Oh, and if you happen to see my immediate future lying around, could you please drop it off or mail it to me?  Thanks.

Stupid cookies.