1 of 2

 

  . . .  its cold and overcast, the street is wet . . . its building up to begin raining again, any moment. Crossing the street and just stepping onto the curb, he feels the first few raindrops and a quick cold wind pushes the drops to pick up speed as he does. Reaching ahead of him as far as he can . . . opens the door and pushes the rain and the chill back, outside . . . and then steps straight seeking to find the faint warmth that seems to be deeper inside. He unbuttons his coat and unwraps his scarf, but is chilled and not sure how much he dares unwrap just yet.

It's an intimate, luxurious pub and the fireplace is built into a thick extending wall and ledge, separating the bar from the dining area. There's plenty of empty tables and he lays the coat and scarf in a chair and steps directly to the fireplace. A man comes over, adds more wood, stirs the fire and it starts to soak the chill out of him, warm enough for him to relax and not shiver.

She comes up from behind him and puts her arms over his shoulders. He turns around and she keeps her arms around his neck and he put his arms loosely around her. He looks into see her eyes and she tilts her head and gives him a very long soft kiss.  Her face is cold, wet and flushed from coming in from outside. He wants to say something . . . she looks at him and puts her finger over his lips to keep him from speaking.

She takes off her coat and is dressed in a long brown shift dress. She kisses his cheek and then turns and takes him by the hand  over to a pair of warm, deep, chairs across from the fireplace.  She patted the adjacent chair seat and had him sit down. He looked and she wasn’t wearing any jewelry on her left hand, but noticed she had a very large single diamond on the ring finger on her right hand. He looked up at her again and she had been watching him.  She turns and orders hot hot tea, which is brought moments later. She quietly prepares the tea . . . just the right sweet . . . milk  . . . and offers it to him steaming.

She smiles, set back and sunk into the chair.  Once she was comfortable she reaches for his hand, smiles and looks into his eyes for a long time. She held his hand and wiped a tear from her eye with the other.  “You want to hear my perfect British accent?” She said a few phrases, straightening in her chair and laughing. “I have a British passport too and .  . . . this” She settled into the chair again and then pulled her dress tighter across her abdomen so the roundness showed. Her eyes looked into his looking for his reaction, but they were empty as he looked. “His name is Geoffrey”, her eyes still looking into his she wipes a tear from each.

They sat there for a long time; she occasionally wiped a tear from her eye. She looked towards the door and stood up and reached for her coat. A man came in with a very little girl barely a toddler in his left arm. He smiled, introduced himself and extended his right hand to shake. 

He looked back and she had put on her coat. She walked up close to him, he could have put his arms around her, then she whispered, “It’s a nice Estate nearby” she looked at him again and then they walked out together and down the street.

 

G.

P.S. 1of 2

 
   

 


 
 
mymidnightrose on
Re: 1 of 2 . . . Part I
Wow. The writing is...smooth. The descriptions don't seem forced or phony. It sounds natural. And nothing is stated outright. It's subtle. Maybe that's the best word for it. Subtle. I enjoyed. The present-tense is sometimes hard to maintain. Watch out for that. You switch to past tense in the 5th paragraph.

 

Wow. I'm sorry. I went into Editor Mode. I didn't mean to do that. It's a really nice piece of writing. Can't wait for part 2.

theartofme on
Re: 1 of 2 . . . Part I
Thank you for such a nice reply. It's helpful.

 

G.

P.S.  Subtle is a nice word, and a nice thing.

mymidnightrose on
Re: 1 of 2 . . . Part I
Always glad to help.

 

P.S.Subtle is a nice word. The word itself is subtle. And subtle is undeniably a nice thing.

lavinia on
Re: 1 of 2 . . . Part I
Isn't this a pic of your ex?  http://nomad.mindsay.com/black_white_eyes.mws

 
Login to replyToggle picture size
 

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