What a sweet friend, to understand exactly what you need and give it to you.  Enjoy your time to yourself, and I hope everyone comes back to a more refreshed mom/aunt/friend.

Isn't he? Yes, I'll probably be much revived and ready to get back in the game.

We start our days so oppisite. i always wake up to nobody and think to myself , who can I contact to know that i am real.

Most of my life I longed for some solitide..I longed too hard i guess.

I am here for you my dear Ray. Do not feel so alone. Do not worry. 

That is so dear of you. right now i am working on my new discipline. Going out to meet some people.

Will report in later.

Oh yes, that sounds like a great plan! Good luck.

They never showed.

 Last time they were two hours late

I did remember some things i had totally forgotten.

 

I wondered how was it i coped before I had the computer in my first years after Cheryl here in paerth.

I passed a place i used to go into and i almost thought I saw my old favorite waitress.

I used to know the schedules of my favorite waiutresses and go in and have coffee with one almost every night and these were my friends.

 

Then i lost some work and had to borrow money from my parents and they told me i could never have money in an another emergency if I kept going out for coffee so i quit for 3 years.

I would make friends with people like Sylvie to have someone to talk too.

Lately i just cant take the continuous suicidal talk from her in front of her

girls.

I wondered does she do worse because i am around and will listen to it.

I phoned her the other night and she was doing really fine on the phone.

She seems to do better if i contact her less.

Or maybe she tries harder to be socialble.

 

These waitresses often had no one who listened to

them and so we were friends for each other.

 

Perhaps i need to cut finances in other ways.

 

im just thinking out loud here.

 

I know that for one hour per day i need to be truly listening or talking to another human being

in the flesh.

 

After a week it hasnt cut intoi my time with Mindsay friends.

it has only kept me from comenting on the more useless posts.

 

Each night is a struggle to go but I have come home with something good each time.

I see myself as a character in the famous edward Hopper painting of the people in the Dinner.

By the way Catherine (porkchopper is a dear, dear friend of mine..

I am so glad to see the two of you communicating.

I like and respect her a lot. I'm sorry to see that her baby has been sick, but she seems to be handling it well. (It's always horrible when they get sick the first time, so scary!) 

It sure is.

She is one of the absolute angels here.

There are about 5 of you who treat we so kindly with such respect and hope.

To be treated with Hope is really unique.

Many people can love and care but for a person to treat you with hope is so important.

 

I wish i didnt have to go to bed now i could talk to you all night but I would really be a grouch tommorrow.

I hope you have deep sleep and very sweet dreams.

You too, friend. It's one of those nights where sleep just rushes at you. Take care. Record your dreams. 

I will dear and I will check that painting.

 

Luray

That's funny, I imagined you were in that picture as well! But if you look at another Edward Hopper picture called the Window, perhaps you'll see me in that picture.

I don't mind it when you think out loud, it lets me into your life a little bit. Cutting back on the coffee, eh? Well, what if you brought in a bottle of water instead, and a good book? Or a notebook to write down everything you see? Then maybe you'd still be able to talk to your friends without having to buy the coffee? Maybe I am just naive in thinking one can walk into a coffee shop and not buy coffee. :-)

I actually got thrown out of there once by the owner even though i had bought a meal for defending my friend who just had water. He called the police on her. someday I will do a blog on that very strange incident. I have a hunch it was a ant Jewish response because I overheard him say soemthing about the guy with the beard and his Jewish friend.  We never went back while he was owner. But as i have said before that is another story. I didnt get thrown out but i walked out in defence of her. he actually callled the police on her even though she wasnt protesting.

 

These were music nights. When the musicians heard how we had been treated they boycotted the nights. It was his biggest night. He went out of business a few months later. It was sad because she decided to leave town and i lost my best friend.

 

Some waitresses would not charge me for coffee so I tipped them what i would have payd for coffee. one waitress would not take money from me and would give me water.

 

The chinese restaurant gives me my coffee because my friend holly tells them i am good for business and they think i am too. Every two weeks they give me a meal. There are still kind people in this world.

Yes, contrary to popular belief, people still believe in community and friends and niceties to strangers. Here, a kind smile will win you awards, but I am lucky to live in a good neighborhood. Back in London, however, no one looks at anyone else. It is a product of urbanization and industrialization. 

The old owner moved back to london after closing down. Isn't it ironic.

Quite!