So I don't update this often, and most people don't even know I have this, so I guess it really doesn't matter.  But anyways life lately has been real shitty.  Normally I keep everything bottled in, but I can no longer do this.  Im wrecking myself.  Nothing has gone right for me in awhile.  I'm so fucking lonely and no one seems to notice or care that I have no motivation for life itself anymore.  I've officially failed out of college, and have no intentions of telling my parents.  I don't know if I'll be around that long that they will need to know.  Oh well.  All I have left is drinking and gambling, and well I can't even afford either of them anymore.  I sleep all flipping day, stay up all night, and have absolutly nothing to be proud of at the moment.  I don't know how much longer I can live this shitty life, and with hunting season rolling around I have a feeling it's gonna be hard not to pull that trigger while I'm out in those cold dreary woods.  Anyways, I'm gonna get back to doing nothing again.  I'll leave you with a little something I found written on a desk the last time I went to class.  I don't know where or who it is from but I wish it was complete or someone would complete it, I think it's really good.

"All that I know

All that I believe

It's all crumbling images

That no longer comforts me

I scramble to reach higher ground

some order and sanity"