wow, the universe really knows how to mess with me.

So, I was out tonight, for a friend's birthday. A night out I was nervous about, but ended up having fun. I actually felt pretty, something that does not happen often. I never feel attractive.
This feeling of attractiveness was heightened when I was walking down the street after the evening was over and some really random guy called me sexy. And not in a 'I'm kidding' kinda way, that so often is the case -I'm a big girl...people tend not to find me attractive-

I was feeling pretty good about myself for a change. Until I get home, pop into chat for a quick peek and some random instant messages me and proceeds to comment on my display pic, a pic I happened to think wasn't so bad. So now I'm back to feeling crap about myself. In the space of three hours.

I know, some random idiot whom I've never met should not make me feel bad about myself. But it seems to be a pretty easy thing to achieve.

But I'm going to focus on the good time I had tonight, seeing friends I haven't seen in a while, being proud of myself for going out by myself and ordering drinks at the bar, which I never do -or at least haven't since I went crazy and stopped talking to people- yes, I did good.

And besides, who needs to feel attractive?