Dixie currently feels:

 Depressed

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I don't know how I manage to - but today, I managed to avert my self harming urges once more.

Perhaps it is Emily lingering on my mind.

...No, Emily does not linger.

Emily weighs heavily upon my mind - even though she's so light.

After thinking about her - thinking about her in the wrong way; remembering her tear-stricken face and her sorrow-smeared words, I felt very sad inside.

So I went to my stationery drawer, opened it, and stared in.

SR was there - resting on the top of my gel pens and felt tips.

I stared at him for a long time.

The last thing he was used for, was actually, to remove a staple.

I felt I'd use him for his true cause, and take out some staples.

So I destroyed my old RE book from year 9.

I drew pentagrams and anarchy signs in the name box.

Not very religious, I know - but I'm not.

I'm sick of not being able to write anything.

I'm so angry at staring at the same shitty divider, watching the cursor flashing underneath it.

The cursor is taunting me.

The flashing means that... Well, it's thinking "Har, I'm gonna stay here and flash at you because you can't think of anything to write."

Fucking cursor.

Adam was round today.

We spent some of the day playing co-op Guitar Hero III.

As usual, he was the one to get bored first, so he got his DS out and started playing Ace Attourney.

We did quite a few songs though - but the 5 star rating for Helicopter will be damn near impossible if he keeps shoving me on rhythm guitar and not lead.

The lead is EASIER, damn it!

I played some wi-fi co-op with Emily later.

At around 9, till about quarter past 10.

We did 7 songs with her on lead, then 5 with me on lead.

To take the piss dramatically, I chose One as my last song.

I barely scraped through it with a 4-star on Hard, nevermind sodding Expert.

So we failed, and I laughed - a lot.

When Adam and I were laid on my bed, being bored - I was scrolling through the setlist of GH3.

Being bored, we started making up parody names for the songs - replacing one word with "shit".

Slow Shit

Hit Me With Your Best Shit

Bulls On Shit

Miss Shit

When You Were Shit

Take This Shit

Hier Kommt Shit

Generation Shit

Radio Shit

Through The Fire And Shit

Holiday In Shit

Raining Shit

In Shit

Shit It Black

Same Old Song & Shit

Talk Shitty To Me

Story Of My Shit

School's Shit

Sunshine Of Your Shit

Shit In The UK

Even Shit

Kool Shit

Black Magic Shit

Cherub Shit

Shit Of Personality

Before I Shit

And my personal favourite:

She Bangs The Shit

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Today's song lyrics:

Vermillion Part 2 - Slipknot

She is everything to me...
The unrequited dream...
A song that no one sings...
The unattainable ...
She's a myth that I have to believe in...
All I need to make it real is one more reason...

And I don't know what to do...
I don't know what to do...
When she makes me sad...

But I won't let this build up inside of me...
I won't let this build up inside of me...

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