job
oh, sweetie. this is such a difficult situation. and i'm so sorry you're in it. sounds like it's time for a come-to-jesus meeting with your husband, if you don't want this to just go on and on. (((((((((((silvie))))))))))) keep the tits up sweetie, we have teflon duct tape now.
It is difficult to have the come-to-Odin mtg when K is defensive and anything I say tends to come out worse than it sounded in my head. I have sincerely worked on my communication skills, but it is hard to convey what I wish when he is not hearing it with an open mind. Today I got a "I've looked at jobs, but they're not what I want". ??? Well, we don't always get what we want. "Well, it's not like it's critical that I get a job right now". OK, but if you're not going to look with a purpose, you better start working on the house in Glendale like it's your full time job! Oh, I didn't know you wanted me down there that much.
???????!
???????!
when he said, "but it's not what i want...", did you ask him what it is he *did* want? what concerns me is the economy; better to have a job he doesn't love before there are no jobs at all, ya know? not to mention it can't be good for your marriage.
can you guys sign up for some counseling? it seems like you have things to say that need to be heard, and k. might just benefit, period. if nothing else, get some pointers from your therapist on how to handle a "this is where we're at, this is what i need, this is what i need from you" conversation. 'cause i worry about you, about y'all. i can totally feel your frustration here, and i'm concerned it's gonna blow if you can't get your feelings, worries out there. *pets you and hugs you* much love, sweetie. xoxoxo, s/l.
When I've asked him before, he's well-prepared to tell me what he does NOT want, but not so much what he Does want. Today he worked on his resume and said he thinks he could work for a library based on his previous experience. He didn't listen when I advised him to keep job hunting when he was at his last job, so I doubt he is going to take any advice from me now.
When I talked to my therapist about my perception of his mindset, she thought he had given up and needed to see someone about it. She also advocated some couples stuff so he could hear what I'm thinking but with her to referee the situation. He got defensive when I mentioned therapy (almost always does) and started working on his resume, so maybe I got a chink in his armor. *shrug*
When I talked to my therapist about my perception of his mindset, she thought he had given up and needed to see someone about it. She also advocated some couples stuff so he could hear what I'm thinking but with her to referee the situation. He got defensive when I mentioned therapy (almost always does) and started working on his resume, so maybe I got a chink in his armor. *shrug*
effingham men. it's almost enough to make you consider lesbianism.
*dies laffin*
I know how you feel but i don't know a quick solution.
Perhaps if you can make the cleaning up project a fund do together project like you would with a kid.
It's hard to unfunk a funker when you are tired yourself.
Perhaps if you can make the cleaning up project a fund do together project like you would with a kid.
It's hard to unfunk a funker when you are tired yourself.
No quick solutions, I'm afraid. I am having trouble seeing any solutions that don't involve ME taking responsibility or running things. I want him to take more control and not be such a lump with time on his hands.
I guess I just thought it would be easier for him to take charge of getting the place emptied or getting a job since he has all this military mgt training. I have no mgt training at all and no innate skill for it.
I guess I just thought it would be easier for him to take charge of getting the place emptied or getting a job since he has all this military mgt training. I have no mgt training at all and no innate skill for it.
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Re: Because you asked - lmao, i read that too fast and thought you said "what you have to offer me" :P ...
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