pain
I'm on the fence on hentai and porn.
On one hand, it turns some females on.
And on the other, it's just not that exciting to me.
xD
I'd just rather be the one doing it I think.
On one hand, it turns some females on.
And on the other, it's just not that exciting to me.
xD
I'd just rather be the one doing it I think.
::Smiles:: That's what I tend to think when I watch it. I don't watch it often though.
hmmm
I wish you the very best in your search for help. I have a good friend who struggles with the issue of porn, and there are many past issues of abuse that he deals with, too. There is a root of bitterness that seems to reach up and choke him, and he acknowledges that there is a direct correlation between feeling that and acting out with porn.
If you want to talk, I am here for you. When you are ready.
Rev. Cathian
Thank you, truly 
My frist thought is, I am sorry you have been hurt. Next, did you tell Josh that it made you un-come-fer-ta-bull? (Excuse the ODD spelling but dsylexick and no spell check
[I am guessing that Josh is real person located in a seperat body from you.] You might try that, if not with Josh then with someone who you trust. As for your thoughts about porn and sex.... As I am sure you know there is good and there is BAD. The good can be VARY empowering and FUN, while the bad can make you trash, a slave, a worm. So long as you are safe and the person/s involved are in aggrement why not enjoy.
However that is not your problem is it? You can not forgive yourself for what someone else did to you. Someone else took away your dig-na-tee and violated your trust. Weather they did something to your person or not, they hurt you. Untill you can forgive yourself you will never heal. 5year olds have no clue, so you need to stop beating yourself up over it. Try talking, try crying, try to accept the past and understand the present. The longer you wait the worse it will be.
Peace and smile
[I am guessing that Josh is real person located in a seperat body from you.] You might try that, if not with Josh then with someone who you trust. As for your thoughts about porn and sex.... As I am sure you know there is good and there is BAD. The good can be VARY empowering and FUN, while the bad can make you trash, a slave, a worm. So long as you are safe and the person/s involved are in aggrement why not enjoy. However that is not your problem is it? You can not forgive yourself for what someone else did to you. Someone else took away your dig-na-tee and violated your trust. Weather they did something to your person or not, they hurt you. Untill you can forgive yourself you will never heal. 5year olds have no clue, so you need to stop beating yourself up over it. Try talking, try crying, try to accept the past and understand the present. The longer you wait the worse it will be.
Peace and smile
Thank you. Your comment actually made my day today. I'm working on healing currently. As well as trying to keep paitence. Josh is a real person. I haven't talked to him about it but I might. Thank you.I am willing to be a shoulder if you need/want/wish. I am good at that. I am VARY safe and I have a brain. All you have to do is ask.
Peace and blessings, you are loved.
Peace and blessings, you are loved.
So, have you talked to Josh, and tell him? I have been reading some of your other posts, and you are right there is (or should be) LOTS more to a realtionship than booz and sex. Now if you are just horny, then MAKE WAY HORMONS COMING!! <grin>
Not that I need to say this and I am sure we will never meet, but... I will not hurt and I think you are worthy of respect.
I also noted that you said that women should not promote/show(?? something) just to get men aroused. I do not compleatly agree with that. It all depends on why she is doing that and where the power lies. Sex work is a prime example, it can be VARY good mon-ah-tear-ah-lee and give a women a MAJOR selfessteem/ego boost. On the other hand it can ruin a women. (The above applies to men too, but men already have LOTS of power and are bombarded with ego boosters.) Also in a realation ship a women might decide(want) to be ob-ject-ah-fided (in a good way)by her partner, I see nothing worng with that. (I really wish I would have responded to the post that I saw this written on/at, sorry:[
I am not trying to sound sexist, but there are reasons that a woman might decide/want to 'use' her body in a way that could appear or is a fashion that socioty might not wish. Do not be so quick to judge and dismiss women and their use of their bodys. Also while letting a "man get away with slapping her ass" might not seem right to you, think about this: U.S. socioty has raised up girls to think, react, accept, behave in certain ways, it is going to take sometime for the 'worngness' of many (all?) of thease actions and responses to be learned and belived.
Peace and blessings:]
Not that I need to say this and I am sure we will never meet, but... I will not hurt and I think you are worthy of respect.
I also noted that you said that women should not promote/show(?? something) just to get men aroused. I do not compleatly agree with that. It all depends on why she is doing that and where the power lies. Sex work is a prime example, it can be VARY good mon-ah-tear-ah-lee and give a women a MAJOR selfessteem/ego boost. On the other hand it can ruin a women. (The above applies to men too, but men already have LOTS of power and are bombarded with ego boosters.) Also in a realation ship a women might decide(want) to be ob-ject-ah-fided (in a good way)by her partner, I see nothing worng with that. (I really wish I would have responded to the post that I saw this written on/at, sorry:[
I am not trying to sound sexist, but there are reasons that a woman might decide/want to 'use' her body in a way that could appear or is a fashion that socioty might not wish. Do not be so quick to judge and dismiss women and their use of their bodys. Also while letting a "man get away with slapping her ass" might not seem right to you, think about this: U.S. socioty has raised up girls to think, react, accept, behave in certain ways, it is going to take sometime for the 'worngness' of many (all?) of thease actions and responses to be learned and belived.
Peace and blessings:]
No Josh and I haven't talked about it. It hasn't even been brought up by either of us. And thank you, for beliving I am worthy of respect. You are too, greatly.
I understand that getting men aroused, a woman would have to use her body which is different. When I wrote the post, what I meant by that was that she shouldn't walk around and showing off her body to just random men.
You don't sound sexist, I understand what you wrote. Perhaps I should've made myself a little more clear on that blog. And you are right, U.S. society has raised girls to think and accept in certain ways, which is sad really. But, there's nothing that can really be done about it now. Perhaps I am being a little to conservative for my own good because of my past, but I just never believed that a woman should be so revealing with herself.
I understand that getting men aroused, a woman would have to use her body which is different. When I wrote the post, what I meant by that was that she shouldn't walk around and showing off her body to just random men.
You don't sound sexist, I understand what you wrote. Perhaps I should've made myself a little more clear on that blog. And you are right, U.S. society has raised girls to think and accept in certain ways, which is sad really. But, there's nothing that can really be done about it now. Perhaps I am being a little to conservative for my own good because of my past, but I just never believed that a woman should be so revealing with herself.
You should
Thank you, lots:]
I had a feeling that was how you ment it, I was just pointing out and making sure you considered that while going about life. I am not sure I agree with the last part "... showing off..." but that is beside the point.
Good I am glad you did, and I am glad you knew what post I was refering to. However you are COMPLEATLY WORNG(!) when you say there is nothing that can be done. For starters if I pat you on the ass and you do not want me patting you on the ass say something! There are many ways you can do this, shouting at me, asking quitly, telling your friends within my earshot that it really annoys you, embaressing me in frount of my friends, etc. This will do quite a few things, but one of them will be to show others that they do not have to accept that kind of treatment. (By the way, I do not randomly pat women on the ass, but I can use myself as an example. YES that means I ask FRIST.) Change starts at home. (In this in-stance home means more than the place where your bed is located, but includes where you live, school, place of worship, etc.) You never know when something you do will teach someone else. Think of all the times little boys and girls see someone pat someone else on the butt. Of those times how many are the male patting the female? If this is all the boy sees what is he being taught? I am guessing he can't do that to his mom, but he can others? Think about holding open a door? Do you do that for others or only certain people? Why do you hold open the door? And finally (and perhaps most imporantly) are you allowed to hold it open for others? Can you hold it open for a man?
There is no dout that how you were raised and how you are expected to act influeances your views and belifes, that is fine. As you grow up and explore life you will change and learn new ways to do things. But never for 1 seconed think think you can not start changing right now.
Peace and smiles:]
Thank you, lots:]
I had a feeling that was how you ment it, I was just pointing out and making sure you considered that while going about life. I am not sure I agree with the last part "... showing off..." but that is beside the point.
Good I am glad you did, and I am glad you knew what post I was refering to. However you are COMPLEATLY WORNG(!) when you say there is nothing that can be done. For starters if I pat you on the ass and you do not want me patting you on the ass say something! There are many ways you can do this, shouting at me, asking quitly, telling your friends within my earshot that it really annoys you, embaressing me in frount of my friends, etc. This will do quite a few things, but one of them will be to show others that they do not have to accept that kind of treatment. (By the way, I do not randomly pat women on the ass, but I can use myself as an example. YES that means I ask FRIST.) Change starts at home. (In this in-stance home means more than the place where your bed is located, but includes where you live, school, place of worship, etc.) You never know when something you do will teach someone else. Think of all the times little boys and girls see someone pat someone else on the butt. Of those times how many are the male patting the female? If this is all the boy sees what is he being taught? I am guessing he can't do that to his mom, but he can others? Think about holding open a door? Do you do that for others or only certain people? Why do you hold open the door? And finally (and perhaps most imporantly) are you allowed to hold it open for others? Can you hold it open for a man?
There is no dout that how you were raised and how you are expected to act influeances your views and belifes, that is fine. As you grow up and explore life you will change and learn new ways to do things. But never for 1 seconed think think you can not start changing right now.
Peace and smiles:]
You are very much right. Thank you for showing that to me. Heh, I don't know what else to say. You definitly know what you're talking about.I really hope this did not come across as shouting at you, if it did I am sorry. I jsut felt the need to point out a error in your thinking. You are worthy of respect and dig-na-tee, while there are probly a great many people who would LOVE to do things with you and to you, that dose not mean they CAN or SHOULD. Stright males need to learn that just becouse a person has a hole where they have a pole dose NOT give them the right to 'due stuff', they need to ask and be given permission. (As a personal note, I said "straight males" on perpose. Yes females and GLBT's do violance to others, and yes they too need to ask and recive permission frist. However ruffly 85% of sexual assults are per-pa-tray-ted by males and over 90% are by self-identifid straight men, [Non-prison stats]. Untell this number get close to par-ah-tee or unless the conversation is about other problem people in speh-sif-ick, I will address my comments to the straight males who cause the problems.) Females need to learn that they have rights and need not put up with it.
Peace and keep responding, you have a brain and I want to pick it;]
Peace and keep responding, you have a brain and I want to pick it;]
::Laughs:: Well thank you. And you didn't come across as shouting at me. Actually it was kind of reminding me of my conversations with Josh.
GOOD!!!!!!!!!
So do you fish? I am guessing you do not hunt, but I could be worng. Can you be emailed? I want to ask a bunch of stupid questions and do not want to ask them on your public blog. <doppy grin>
So who is this Josh guy, sounds like he is kinda special?
Peace:]
So do you fish? I am guessing you do not hunt, but I could be worng. Can you be emailed? I want to ask a bunch of stupid questions and do not want to ask them on your public blog. <doppy grin>
So who is this Josh guy, sounds like he is kinda special?
Peace:]
^_^. My emails is ebonliquid@yahoo.com
I don't hunt nor do I fish.
And Josh is very speical to me. He's the first guy that was willing to get to know me and care for me.
I don't hunt nor do I fish.
And Josh is very speical to me. He's the first guy that was willing to get to know me and care for me.
Sounds like this has been pushed into your head.. most likely be religious beliefs... Are you harming anyone by enjoying this? No... think about that.. I don't know if it would help, but if it makes you happy, and it doesn't have any negative effect on anything/anyone.. then why not? There's no reason to feel bad about it...
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