Little Thought Tags

So, I actually meant that post a few days ago to be about how things are changing. But it went in a totally different direction.

Honestly, I don't know that I can yet clarify how things are changing. Maybe it's only reinforcing the changes that broke ground a few months ago, making them more real and less of a novelty. I'm not as interested in being the solo act or the center of attention (this is startling)...and where before I'd always been involved with everybody, now it's the one-on-one I look forward to.

Possibly putting one friendship back together. I hadn't realized that the way we were drifting apart was hurting him. His girlfriend had come into his life, and I'd kind of been pushed out. Which is okay, I suppose, I've been in that situation before. I missed him, but we'd had an argument about his lifestyle, and I thought he didn't want me around anymore if I wasn't going to be behind him 100%. Actually, in general, I thought he didn't want me around anymore.

Hmmm. I'm noticing this being a recurring theme. Concluding that since guys don't say something, they don't think it. However, to me, it makes more sense than assuming that they think something when they haven't clearly indicated it. There has to be a middle ground that makes sense here, but I've yet to find it.

For the first time, Slasher's come over and actually spent time with the family. Well, in the same building as the family, which is an improvement. He's less distasteful now than before - still fully capable of slashing someone's confidence, but I'm learning to not take anything he says seriously. Slowly. We watched The Swan Princess, had a generally decent time. Long-standing favorite of the Ariane. This is how I shall do this - take it one bit at a time, gradually build the amount of time we'd spend in the same room. This was far more than I'd meant to start off with, but it was Swan Princess. I love Swan Princess.

Sometime this week, I'll have my interview for summer plans. I may have already made serious points against me by irritating her, but I hope not. Very much hoping that I get this, very much hoping that whoever they do get will be the best counselors those girls could have. Pray on this one.

I've come to the conclusion that I've been doing way too much talking out there, and not nearly enough listening. Even when I'm not talking, my mind's been on the next mission, the next puzzle, juggling what I need to get done. I'm not really making friends at SCC, but I can bet that's because I'm never really that open with anyone, or even to anyone. Just busy, planning, thinking, mind's already ahead of where I am.

There's a bit of weirdness with friends. I'm no longer finding interest in one particular group that's a fairly negative influence on me (as opposed to before, when I just knew I shouldn't be with them), but...I don't really have close friends in the music department anymore, because most of them seem kind of immature and unmotivated. And I had something unique in both of those circles. It kind of feels as though I don't have that anymore. It's just kind of weird.

My Simon and Garfunkel cd turned up - I've been looking for it for months. Eating a peanut-butter and cinnamon-sugar open-face sandwich, talking with Rogue and sharing a relaxed afternoon together. Good music, good munchies, good friend, life is good.