workToday was rather uncool.
As far as I can tell, this came out of NOwhere. Had a full shift at work, and before it was half-done, I just got hit with this whong! of aggression. Anger. Everyone was a cause for irritation. People who came into my lane too slow. People
People who know how to do my job better than I do are always welcome, oh, yes. Also, people who feel that their lives are too out-of-control for their standards, so they respond by trying to control anyone in a 'lower' position.
Anyone either under twenty or over forty-five who wears too much makeup. (For some reason, adult women don't seem to have this issue - but once you're stooping for attention, your maturity is called into question.) Honestly, you're beautiful. You don't need that, and you look ridiculous. What is wrong with you??
People who say things like, "Excuse me," and "Could you please," when they sound like they're saying, "What is wrong with you?!" Parents being mean to their kids. Kids being rude to their parents. Me not being able to be me. Things for not working the way they're supposed to. The guy acting like nothing's changed and we're still pals.
Yep. Today probably should have been a Midol day.
Which is a shame, because it was a lovely day. It's as though we've finally been released. Yeah, we still have piles of snow everywhere, it's Minnesota, but the wind is blowing warm and free, the sun is out, the sky is cloudless and blue once more (perhaps if you're from somewhere else, you are unaware that, through winter, the sky is actually gray the whole time).
I went out to my car for all my breaks, munched in there with the windows open. It was slightly too chilly to sit on the trunk and munch (that, and my car is filthy, and I probably won't wash it until April anyway), but enjoying the sunlight once more...oh, yes. Life is good.
On that note: Knuter spent five hours skiing yesterday. Knuter did not wear sunblock, but he did wear his ski helmet (which makes us all very happy, as it's saved his life in the past). Knuter is now quite red, except for a wide swath along his chin, which remains untouched. Ariane is amused.
Must remember this for the future. Driving home listening to Kutless helps SO much. Reese and I both have quarrels with our aggression, but mine is a very rare thing. His, not so much. When I do have issues with it coming up irrationally, I just want to get away from everybody and run it out. Literally - most of my more passionate emotions are slackers and can't keep up, so after about a half-mile or something they let go and drop out of the race. And then I can keep going however I want - there won't be any more damage wrought by these. Reese's approach is to try to stamp it down, or drown it out and lose himself in his music.
Kutless is ideal because the instrumentation appeals to the aggression, but the words are going back to what's important. You can focus on it instead of it annoying you like everything else is, and somewhere in there the real you, and your normal perspective, emerge from the monster that's gotten 'hold of you.
I'm afraid, in some ways, because I don't know where this aggression comes from. I can find all sorts of excuses for it once it arrives - my teacher, not having enough time to practice, the guy (not Knuter), feeling unfulfilled at my job - but none of those are what started it. My theory is that it's something pre-period related, coupled with the changing seasons that have a hey-day with my hormones, but I don't have any conclusive evidence, just suggestive.
I want to figure out where this comes from, and fix it, but it's rather rare. Occurs more during the winter, but that means maybe three times in five months, instead of one in four. Difficult to keep track of. And since I'm usually more focused on getting past it and getting it out of me, I don't take the time to analyze it.
Difficult to say.
As far as I can tell, this came out of NOwhere. Had a full shift at work, and before it was half-done, I just got hit with this whong! of aggression. Anger. Everyone was a cause for irritation. People who came into my lane too slow. People
People who know how to do my job better than I do are always welcome, oh, yes. Also, people who feel that their lives are too out-of-control for their standards, so they respond by trying to control anyone in a 'lower' position.
Anyone either under twenty or over forty-five who wears too much makeup. (For some reason, adult women don't seem to have this issue - but once you're stooping for attention, your maturity is called into question.) Honestly, you're beautiful. You don't need that, and you look ridiculous. What is wrong with you??
People who say things like, "Excuse me," and "Could you please," when they sound like they're saying, "What is wrong with you?!" Parents being mean to their kids. Kids being rude to their parents. Me not being able to be me. Things for not working the way they're supposed to. The guy acting like nothing's changed and we're still pals.
Yep. Today probably should have been a Midol day.
Which is a shame, because it was a lovely day. It's as though we've finally been released. Yeah, we still have piles of snow everywhere, it's Minnesota, but the wind is blowing warm and free, the sun is out, the sky is cloudless and blue once more (perhaps if you're from somewhere else, you are unaware that, through winter, the sky is actually gray the whole time).
I went out to my car for all my breaks, munched in there with the windows open. It was slightly too chilly to sit on the trunk and munch (that, and my car is filthy, and I probably won't wash it until April anyway), but enjoying the sunlight once more...oh, yes. Life is good.
On that note: Knuter spent five hours skiing yesterday. Knuter did not wear sunblock, but he did wear his ski helmet (which makes us all very happy, as it's saved his life in the past). Knuter is now quite red, except for a wide swath along his chin, which remains untouched. Ariane is amused.
Must remember this for the future. Driving home listening to Kutless helps SO much. Reese and I both have quarrels with our aggression, but mine is a very rare thing. His, not so much. When I do have issues with it coming up irrationally, I just want to get away from everybody and run it out. Literally - most of my more passionate emotions are slackers and can't keep up, so after about a half-mile or something they let go and drop out of the race. And then I can keep going however I want - there won't be any more damage wrought by these. Reese's approach is to try to stamp it down, or drown it out and lose himself in his music.
Kutless is ideal because the instrumentation appeals to the aggression, but the words are going back to what's important. You can focus on it instead of it annoying you like everything else is, and somewhere in there the real you, and your normal perspective, emerge from the monster that's gotten 'hold of you.
I'm afraid, in some ways, because I don't know where this aggression comes from. I can find all sorts of excuses for it once it arrives - my teacher, not having enough time to practice, the guy (not Knuter), feeling unfulfilled at my job - but none of those are what started it. My theory is that it's something pre-period related, coupled with the changing seasons that have a hey-day with my hormones, but I don't have any conclusive evidence, just suggestive.
I want to figure out where this comes from, and fix it, but it's rather rare. Occurs more during the winter, but that means maybe three times in five months, instead of one in four. Difficult to keep track of. And since I'm usually more focused on getting past it and getting it out of me, I don't take the time to analyze it.
Difficult to say.
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Re: 41 UNBECOMING BUDDHIST - Love that story -- it's like jumping on the desk and saying "God's too slow!" --...
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