I called my parents today, they are doin fine, my sister is gettin big and she just turns 10 last month. And another sister, she is in love with some thai guy and they help myparents business so far so good. i wish i could help them have a small wedding party and i wish i could go their. My cousin just got baby boy last two months. And people in my famiy is gettin old and have been changing by job, life, love and health. I do miss my family so muh and wish i could be there real soon after I have been here more than 3 yrs.
I have some confusing feeling in my mind about who I love and who I want to spend time with. I care of one guy who is always be te part of my thinkin no matter I do or what he does. We keep in touch and try to do thing together, get to know each other more and more..Seemed like I got scared how he feel and I feel. I feel very happyto be with him. I want him to be happy but he couldnt force himself to be happy as he tried to be. His eyes are still having the sorrow sign everytime I looked at him. I want to help him as much as he can from his past and try to make him happy..I hope time would help and be with him. I wish my goodness would get through to him. I dont expec aything from him.
But myfriends didnt like him at all coz he is disorganize, moody, sensitive and unhappy........He lets thingin the past kill him and dont even want to move on as I try to let him do that just for himself....
I feel like crab....I feel like Im no one in his life...that he wasnt appreciated me in some other time.
He mostly didnt pay for me when we go out, he did at the first mment we have met..And I do know and understand he has bill to pay....But it didnt matter to me.
Another guy came to me after him for a while. He is older than me and mature,, He has a stable job and rich. He takes care of me always when we went out..I would never pay or anything...I dont know what I should say like now but as I know....I need to choose one of them. Yeah absolutely, my friends like this guys a lot and seemed like I will be happier to be with than other one....
I am so sick of ife likethis....
I need time to think and think what i gonna do for the future ...what is best for me!
