Generally yes on all of them, on the second... I think people generally need to take things less personally than they do, but be aware that people do sometimes hold personal grudges and things... I think the problem is then the target hits an emotional barrier and people just get stuck on the fact that one person hates another and they don't progress from that - I think if one person does hate another, (and people have hated me) you have to accept + acknowlege it and try to make things better or reach an understanding - I think "keep cool" is how I'd put it. Hold our nerves, and be realistic - because things are not always as bad as they seem!

What it actually means by don't take anything personally is that nothing others do or say to you is personal. It isn't about you. It's always something about them. So even if they believe it's something personal against you and you may believe that as well, the truth is that it's all a problem they have within themselves.

Maybe they believe they don't like you bcause you're happy or a girl likes you better than them. You understand that this isn't anything you've done personally, but they still hold you personally responsible for it. They still tell themselves it's you and that the problems they're having at the time are all because of you. Now if you don't take anything personally you'll be able to see these problems for what they really are and you may even be able to help this person through it.

Sometimes, I think, yes, with some people it's very much the case anyway, because you do get people who see everything a certain way because of their own emotions, if they have them. I think if someone does need to learn, or deal with an emotion they will see things in a way that challenges them in the way they need to be challenged in order to learn.

But I wouldn't say that how we see others is entirely a reflection on us - I think it's part us, part them. The more it's about them, and the more perceptive we are, easier we'll see differences between people and the less people will generalise or be paranoid, etc.

But I think you're right that there are times when it is just their own emotions speaking, and we identify that, and not take it personally then, and as you say, see it for what it is, which is something that's bothering them. If they have an accusation or criticism of me though I'd consider it in case I did an unreasonable or inconsiderate action, but it takes 2 to shake hands I guess and it also depends on how willing they are to see what I was thinking

Because of some of the things you've brought up I went back and re-read the chapter again. Working from memory just wasn't enough. So bacically when you cut away all the fat from the agreement it's telling us to remember who we are. If a person tells us we're great we thank them for the kind words, but we already know in our hearts what we are so we shouldn't let it go to our heads. It's the same if someone says you're a jackass. You can take what they told you to heart and let it get you down, or you can ignore it knowing who and what you truly are.

 

You are right however that if you have wronged someone in some way you must take the time to listen to what they have to say and try to put it right. Though I believe that something like that would be taken care of with agreements 1 and 4.

You do have a point, and it's true most of the time I think, especially on emotional subjects, that often how people see things and how they say it speaks about them, and we are like mirrors - others see themselves in us when they don't know enough about us. And you're right that it also applies to compliments. It is a lot more advanced than a lot of people to even be thinking this

 

That accepted I do still think though that that's just half the story - sometimes you can have someone who pisses off everyone - or at the other extreeme is liked by practicaly everyone they meet, which makes me think that [part] of it is down to them. I agree that part of how we see things certainly is down to us, like you say, and many people share common mindstates when they do agree so even then it might not be accurate, but I think there's more to it than that because what the other person chooses to be like as a person does seem to have some effect on how people see them, and I think getting on with someone is like a handshake that requires both sides to extend arms, to some degree.

 

And... yea, considering where I myself may've wronged someone - that is covered by the other points, but it's my way of saying that it may've actually been my fault, they might've (and it's a might) been right to feel like they did, and their might be a fair basis for personal criticism, but I hold my nerve until I know, and accept, and try to work as best I can from there.

You're right and I'm not trying to insinuate that these agreements are the only things you need to know to live your life. I'm just saying that by accepting them and trying to implement them into your daily life will greatly improve the quality of your life.

Yea...

I don't tend to live to any structure of formula, being a bit antiauthoritarian lol, but I think a lot of those things I am incorporating / going to incorporate naturally, but I talk about them as points of philosophy, about the reality of what's going on - I do accept that part of what they see is inward, but I hold that part outward, because otherwise there would be no variation.

I have to feel totally at peace in order to work totally with any idea, so I bring up any exceptions

It makes sense that you would. No philosophy is without flaws and no system of belief should be followed without question.

5.  Speak softly and carry a big stick. 

That's a pretty good one too. In fact there are several other agreements you could make like always be prepared, or watch out where the huskies go, but these 4 are a good base.