I am in desperate need of some advice right now. I can't really go to my best friend or my sister with this right now because they're both really busy but I need some advice.

 

My boyfriend of over 2 and a half years recently wrote some sketchy e-mails to an ex girlfriend and when I found out about it and confronted him he said that they were just joking with each other.  Please Please Please read these e-mails and let me know what you think.  (I changed the names for them. they actually signed their own names but I figure I only want advice on what I should think....I don't want to be a bitch about it.)

 

 

E-mail 1

 

hey,
 
How are you doing today my dear? I hope i didn't get you into too much trouble. It was great seeing you again. It just felt like old times us laughing and smiling and just goofing off. I miss that. Not that i forgot or anything but I thought i may have gotten some defense up against those eyes and smile of yours. But i don't. lol. I am weak. Hey at least we behaved for once. lol. I don't think i would have had you take me to the train station. We would of pulled over at a rest stop on the way and just made out.  Until my train left then i would have had to call in. I'm being good i will keep this email rated pg-13. lol. Its unfair you got to feel my butt and i didn't get to feel yours. From what i saw it looks and moves perfectly. I loved everything about you. You are just so georgous. Anyways, i should get back to work. I will chat with you later.
 
take care,

boyfriend

 

 

 

E-mail 2

 

 

hey there
   I'm doing alright today. Just woke up it's around 10am, and it feels nice sleeping in!! Lol. I fell asleep so early last night - Nate went down to do the dishes and came back up and i was asleep. lol. oh well - i had 4 hours of sleep the previous night! No, you didn't get me into any trouble. I just don't want him to get jealous if he knows i'm texting you for hours. It's not like it's interrupting anything - every night is the same. he's on the computer in the room, and i'm watching tv. routin, yet boring. lol. anyway, i hope you don't think i'm like "hiding" you or anything. lol. and feel free to text me whenever, just can't have whole conversations. does that make any sense?? Idk... i'm just being silly. lol.
    It was definately GREAT to see you again. It felt so good to laugh and have fun doing nothing but walking around with a great guy. I haven't laughed so much in a while. lol...my stomach had butterflys pretty much the whole time. And, just so you know, it's nice to know your still weak for my eyes and smile. Makes a woman feel good. Lol. Just so you know, you said you changed "in the mid section" - just wanted to tell you i didn't even notice. You look like the same old Thomas to me! :) hehe....god, i really have missed having you in my life!! It's sooo weird. Like I said the other day. We only dated for like 3months, but somehow you're the one guy that I feel I let get away. Shortest relationship though. lol. I think it's because we were friends for so long before, we had more than just bf/gf, u know? I really considered you my best friend for a while, and i just think that makes such a difference. Does that make sense?? You're a one of a kind guy, Tom, and I am so happy to hopefully have you back in my life. It's prolly expensive but I hope you come home again sometime soon. You better make time for me! lol jk
          So, what else were you going to say in your email? If you DIDNT keep it PG-13! lol. So, we would've pulled over and made out, huh? Lol...my you think highly of yourself. lol... jk jk I just wish I had gotten to take you to the train so we would've had more time to talk. I wish that I had come over sooner. I feel like the time just flew by! I'm glad you were obviously watching the time b/c I wasn't! lol. I just wish we had more time to talk talk. About more things. I was nervous and dind't know what to say some of the time. Im glad you think my butt moves and looks perfect. maybe next time you'll get a chance to "bump" into it. lol. I love the fact that you think i'm Gorgeous. lol. It makes me feel good.
          Alright, i guess i'll let you go. I'll write more later or just wait for you to write back. Hope to hear from you soon!! :)

Missing you tons

Ex-gf 

 

 

E-mails 3 and 4, the subject line read  "hey, beautiful"

 

3

Hey,
 
how are you doing? I did get the chance to email you as promised. I love this new job so far. I am learning new things and everyone is great. I can't stop thinking of saturday when i got to see you. I miss you so much and just wished we had more time together. I know i wouldn't have been able to resist your eyes and that smile much longer though. Everytime i looked at you I just wanted to kiss you. In my mind i was picturing us going over the field behind us to a secluded area and just make out. maybe a little more with me making you feel so good that you can't help but smile. Although that kind of good usually comes with a price, your legs will be weak. I have to tell you those pants you were wearing really shape your ass perfectly. I watched you walk time to time and just couldn't help but want to grab it and let you know that i think your perfect. Your hair cut was awesome, i really did love it. It brought out so much of your facial features. I know i am not suppose to have these naughty thoughts but hey if i can have you at least i can dream about you. anyways, got to get going. I will talk with you later.
 
love,
boyfriend

 

4

 

hey there you
  
this is the other email i said i'd write in the AM. Hey how come Rita is mad at you? I hope it's not because of me. :( i'd feel really bad. I won't text you anymore unless you tell me when it's ok to.

yeah saturday was awesome. you make me feel so wanted with your email ;). i'm glad you like so much about me. lol. :-P  Yeah i totally wanted to go over to that field and do some making out too but we both know that def wouldn't have been a good idea. kissing always leads somewhere. In our case prolly somewhere it shouldn't. lol....
anyway in the other email i think i wrote something about thinking i may still love you or be in love with you. i'm not sure, but i just have this feeling in my stomache (good one lol) everytime i think about you, which as it turns out is most of my day. so idk, just thought i'd let you know.

alright i'm keeping this one short because the other one yesterday was so long - sorry. Nate was around so i had to keep it PG. lol. we need a codeword or somthing so if someone is around while we're texting and we don't wanna start trouble text the codeword and we stop talking. lol. alright well i'll talk to you later. i miss you love!!

love
ex-gf

 

 

 

I think that was the last of the e-mails (but for all I know they weren't the first...I think he just hadn't deleted these yet)

 

 

I don't know what to believe when I read these. I want very badly to believe my boyfriend when he says that that's just how they joke with each other but at the same time that seems like a weird way to joke. 

 

Please give some advice!!!

 
   

 


Comment Page: 1 2   [Next]
 
mollyrosemond on
Re: HELP I NEED ADVICE
I know you must love your boyfriend and so badly want to trust him and believe they're jokes.  But those ARE NOT jokes.  People do not joke about butterflies, being in love, making out, checking each other out, ect. 
He's being unfaithful to you by writing those emails to her in that context.
I know you'd like me to tell you everything is fine, but he's really treating you poorly by going behind your back like that! it's not right at all.  He'll try and tell you there's nothing wrong and everything is okay to prevent anything from bad happening, but it sounds as if he's just covering up and being dishonest with you.

I hope the best for you.
fiatluxinme on
Re: HELP I NEED ADVICE
it sounds like they really miss each other.

things can definitely happen between two people when they miss each other and then spend some time together.

old feelings come up and of course there's that familiarity that make people think they should maybe give it another try.

be careful.

i wouldn't trust this situation right now because they do have a past.

not that he's definitely doing anything or thinking about doing anything, but the fact that he signed off as BOYFRIEND is not a good one.

olokun on
Re: HELP I NEED ADVICE
hope you don't mind me butting in. i saw you in the latest comment text box. well this is what i  have to say about the emails and the little visit they had. hmmm...seems like innocent flirtation, but the fact that both of them are hiding it indicates that there is still an attraction and a possibility of a hook-up. niether probably wants to hurt their current companion, your boyfriend moreso than her. she seems bored with her relationship and game for anything notwithstanding your bf. i don't know how to approach this situation though...i have to agree with the other people who have commented on at least one thing...seems as though there's some coffee brewing in the pot and it's about to get hottttt!
beccsaloser on
Re: HELP I NEED ADVICE
WHOA.

i don't know him. and i just read the first email.
what the hell is going on with those two??

don't believe that's just joking.
i don't joke with my ex's like that. if i was dating someone and they "joked" like that, i'd be pissed.

sorry if that's hard to hear, but damn.
he's an ass.
bonniegirl on
Re: HELP I NEED ADVICE
You visited my site, my dear, and I have a daughter just a little older than you, and I would tell her exactly what I am telling  you now, if this were happening in her life!  When you have committed to someone, that means you are saying that you will only be intimate with him or her, that there will be nothing secreted away that you want to keep from them.  We only have our own emails for privacy, but if we are writing anything in a text or an email that we do not want our partner to read, then it is not good at all.

And, I know I may be sounding old fashioned, but I do not believe in spending much time alone with one of the opposite sex without the company of my spouse/partner, because it just saves face when anyone sees or comments about it.  And every time you speak or see anyone for any length of time, you need to bring it up in conversation, to let the other know that it was no big deal.

And this is an EX!  They are talking as though they are long lost buddies but would take the opportunity to be together again if they had the chance and it would not affect their present circumstances.

I do not know you, and ho much you trust your boyfriend, but I would not like it at all.  In fact if he went on the defensive about these emails, he would be out on his heel, because I would not know how much I could trust him in the future.

Not joking.  Not fun.  From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and these two have spoken from their hearts with one another.

Thank you for visiting my blog, and I hope to see you again in future.  I will keep you in my prayers, because I know that two years is a long time, and it may just break your heart if it comes to breaking up.  But how do you know that this kind of thing has not happened before, or will happen again, and then go further?  And if it comes to a break, it is better to get that out of the way now, than to have a divorce on your hands.  He must buck up or get out!

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