Don't respect anorexics. They have the same problem we do, only in reverse. It's not that they have the power to say no to food, it's that they don't have the power to say yes. Which is why many of them end up dead. They are unable to eat, like we're unable to stop eating.
Also, a pound is nothing. It could be water weight or just the fact that you're wearing heavier clothing. Here's a tip- DON'T weight yourself for a considerable amount of time. This is what happens when you watch your weight constantly: if you lose a tiny bit you think "I'm so proud of myself! I deserve a whole chocolate cake and some Sonic! I can afford to lay back for a day or two, right?" [I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea] and then you gain all that weight and more back. If you gain weight... you think "Oh, this is hopeless! I might as well give up!" and you binge.
If you don't weight yourself, you have to rely solely on what you eat and how you feel to determine whether your diet is working or not.
Well, good luck.

xoxo

yea but i like numbers...there's no guess work involved. but yea the scale dose totally dictate my mood for the day.
thanks

purple star

Hun, I have read over your blog and I really would like for us to become friends. I will add you to my friend's list right away. I have overcome a lot: anorexia, bulimia, cutting, drug and alcohol abuse and a suicide attempt that put me in a coma and left me for dead. I feel you pain in your entries and I just want to reach out and hold you in my arms. I know what it's like to feel fat (since I have recovered from my eating disorder I AM fat...I wear a size 14/16 and I'm only 5'4) but I've learned to be happy with who I am. I was into severe cutting and I almost lost the use of my hand because I severed a nerve....I'm telling you all this to say that I understand and I would like to be there for you; to pray for you and lift you up. I CERTAINLY am not perfect and I still have my struggles (I'm in therapy every Thursday at 4:30) but I would love to befriend you and help you out as much as I can. Hang in there, hun; things are darkest before dawn. And a bit of advice if you're open to it???? Throw away the scale...it will only haunt you...
Be good to yourself - you certainly deserve it!!! **HUGS**
-BigBroWatching (Emily)

thanks. i read a little of your blog (and i'm sorry for my spelling...i have always been a bad speller...opps =) ) and i'm curious about something.... you're a teacher right? is the reason you lost your job because they found out about your "problems" and didn't want you around kids? sorry to be so personal...you don't have to answer if you don't want...just courious.
i won't throw away the scale, i get your point, but i would just turn around and buy another one in like a day. i'm addicted to it.
it's nice to hear that there' s a bright side after this darkness but i'm not sure i care. i like my darkness it works for me. life is funny and whatever happens will happen. maby one day i'll be ready to get help and stop, and maby one day i'll learn to care about me. but that day is not today.
anyway... i like all your pictures of eyes i find them beautiful and intrigging.

purple star

I had attempted suicide and missed all of school last spring from spring break to the end of the year because I was in the hospital. My principal knew it was a suicide attempt and he saw the severe scars on my arm from years of cutting and required me to wear long sleeves. I was in the process of changing meds and I became terribly sleepy and would often nod off in class when the kids were doing their silent reading. Two times, I fell asleep in my car and was twenty minutes late to class and the kids were left unattended (they're 7th and 8th graders...not like little first graders...and I was teaching a dyslexia class that I wasn't qualified to teach and there were all sorts of parental complaints. That, plus the fact that I was actively suicidal is why they fired me. It just hurt because I had been a faithful employee for nine years, and I have one bad semester and they let me go. I still cry when I think about it.
I know you won't throw away your scale - you have to get at the point where you're ready to be willing to give up your eating disorder....one day you will see that you don't have control over it, it has control over you. That's a scary thing to realize, but once you realize that you will truly be on the road to recovery. I know I can't make you care about yourself, but I just want you to know that somebody else does care about you, even if I only just met you.
Thanks for the compliments about my eyes....I found them on the web!
Should you ever need to talk email me at ChiTownFreak25@yahoo.com. Have a great weekend and a happy Easter!
Emily

I hate scales too. They never show you what you want, and I know what you mean about the food thing, I love eating too, but sometimes I hate it. I go through long periods of time where I don't eat, and then I can't stop eating! The reason I am telling you this is because feeling fat is a terrible thing, and I can relate. In fact, I'm on a diet now, the special K diet, I will let you know how it goes. And good luck with the weight loss. Oh and I kno what you mean about the anorexic respect thing. I wish I had their will power. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx