cross out the eyes, blur all the lines, tearing the canvas from the wall...

Children's Theatre is over now, and my Drama class is being catapulted into working on Grease for our spring production. I didn't think I'd be very excited about it because I've never seen Grease, but I'm really looking forward to it. :) Plus, I was cast as Frenchy, so this should prove interesting. :) My teacher says she might like to make my hair pink for the show which sounds soooooo cool, but my mom says it has to be one of those temporary dyes because she doesn't want my hair to be pink for graduation three weeks after the show. :) hahaha, I think pink hair would be awesome. :) Good stuff.

' Went and saw "She's the Man" on Saturday with a good friend of mine and had a blast! It was nice to go out and hang out ya know? :) Plus, it was an awesome movie, ya'll should go see it.

Huh, what else?

....

Gosh, I hate this stupid emotional wall I'm up against... I'm feeling so much, but not at the same time. Emotionally, I feel so full and exhausted and frustrated, but physically, I don't feel so much. Sunday and yesterday my fingers and arms felt so numb. I would reach out to touch something, and I really couldn't feel it, honestly. I knew I was touching something, like my hair brush, or the keys on this keyboard, but I couldn't feel it. It felt like I'd been shot with novocaine, like my entire body was soaked with it. It's been like that for a while. Maybe that's why I've been thinking about cutting, maybe if I cut, I could actually feel something, ya know?? But I won't do it, I can't. I've promised too many people and I've promised myself, never again..

I just wish I could feel something. Anything! I don't feel things like I should be...

Maybe I'm broken... Yah, I'll bet ya that's what's wrong..

I'm so confused.....

*/arianne

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stillsmallvoice on

Re: cross out the eyes, blur all the lines, tearing the canvas from the wall...

Pink hair sounds fun! I dyed my hair red last year with temporary stuff and it lasted like 3 or 4 weeks after I put it in. I learned two things from that. 1)Never trust boxes and 2)another way to make my mom mad.

I've never seen Grease. We've got the DVD, but I never watched it. I started to once, but got bored after about 3 minutes. In fact I don't even think they were finished rolling the opening...credits I guess they're credits.

I guess I know the physical feeling you are having/had. I can't feel anything but pressure almost everywhere around my left knee from where they sliced me for my ACL replacement. Kinda funny because when I get hit there my foot hurts, but I can't feel pain in my knee. I think the nerves have grown back a little backward. Oh well, it's just an extension of my personality I guess LOL!

If you ever feel like you are going to cut for real and really are pinned against that wall, you can call me. I don't go to bed till late. You guys have got our phone number around and on the ward list. I think your brother has my cell, too, but I rarely have it on. I don't mind getting woken up to help you. Just tell my mom we have an english assignment due or something and that I said I'd be up till late, but must have gotten done early and gone to bed. Heck maybe I even forgot myself

Lots of things will work. Plus she knows you're not crazy and aren't calling to annoy me or anything.

Your not broken either. Otherwise you'd run around with a calculator counting celing tiles. (you may not know who I'm making fun of...the point is that he's weird and messed up)

And I had a nice day thank you for hoping that I would. As for you, you'll have a good day on Thursday. I don't know why, but I think you will.

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purgatorying on

Re: cross out the eyes, blur all the lines, tearing the canvas from the wall...

pink hair would be awesome...

Oh yah!!

I've not seen Grease either, but we're watching it in class, so I get to see what my character is like: Nice, but dumb and a little in-your-face, in a nice way. good stuff... And yah, all that cartoon stuff at the beginning, those are the credits, but they're really long and not that interesting. I don't blame you for turning it off. *wink*

Thanks for letting me know I can call you. I don't think I'll ever need to, but it's nice to know I've got some one. Cole has told me I can call him at any hour of the night if I get to feeling like that, but I usually don't because... well, we'll just leave it that. My friend Cyndi says I can call her, but she doesn't know about the cutting thing and would probably be upset. I think Dennis told me I could call him, but I don't think I know him well enough to want to do that.. Anyway, thank you very much for the offer, even if I don't ever take you up on it. *smiles* You're awesome.

Who counts ceiling tiles with a calculator? Maybe I'm not crazy after all!!

Thursday? Why might Thursday be a good day?

Hey, by the way, have fun in Waterloo! What's going on there again? I hope you have a good time!! I'll miss ya!

*/arianne

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stillsmallvoice on

Re: cross out the eyes, blur all the lines, tearing the canvas from the wall...

I didn't think you'd plan on calling or anything, just wanted to let you know it was there for you.I don't know, I just think it will be for some reason.

We're here for robotics. Holy crap there's like 8 people in here. I think I'm gonna go find somewhere in this hotel and just sit and browse the web.