I could never recreate this so I thought I would just repost it.......it goes without saying that the past 2 years have only served to increase my love and pride for you lil girl!

reposted from 5/4/2006

this is lovingly dedicated to Kim aka Wonderingsoul  May you always know how much you are loved.

Happy Birthday my Dear, Sweet Daughter....

God, 23 (now 25!!) years already!  Where did the time go?  IT WAS just yesterday when after 36 hours of not so fun labor I pushed you into this world, only to discover you were not breathing.  My heart stopped as I looked at the purple little child that the doctor lay on my chest.  "Isn't she supposed to be crying/breathing?"  He looked at you all of a sudden, as a real baby, not just an assembly line product, and grabbed you from me, taking you to the side of the room and laying you on the metal counter that went around the entire room.  Your Dad and I got tears in our eyes as we heard the doctor yell at you "breathe dammit, you have to breathe, you can't die".  God how it seems just yesterday, yet here it is 23 (now 25!!) years later, and so many days, weeks, months, years, and memories have past.  I recall the glorious feeling when I was allowed to have you in my room and was able to feed you after you were 3 days old.  Mothers are supposed to be able to hold their children from birth, and I truly felt robbed of that until 3 days later, when you became all too real, and wonderful to me.  You smiled from the first time I held you, and despite what the doctors say, I know it was a real smile.  Aaaaah, yes, that beautiful smile.  Those pink cheeks, the long fingers, all that dark hair!  You were a beautiful baby, and you have grown into a beautiful young woman.  Perfect?  I think not, but then I realize that none of us are, and I would be hardpressed to find perfection anywhere.  But you came as close as it gets.

I remember all the sad times, the sick times, the day you had a fever that went up to 105 and I was then introduced to the term "Roseola".  That would have been a difficult time, however in retrospect, it got worse.  When you were a mere 18 months old, still a baby, looking totally healthy and rosey cheeked, the doctors told us that you had diabetes and that we would have to give you shots, poke your little fingers multiple times daily to check your blood sugar.  How bittersweet it became when you realized very quickly that this was not going to go away.  You would come up to us when you were hungry and ask us to poke your finger for you had associated that finger poke with getting something to eat.  You were not the most cooperative child getting blood taken every 3 months, however you never blamed the phlebotomist, you always thanked them for "hurting you".  Despite this rough and rocky start, you were a wonderful child, happy and for the most part very carefree, and all who knew you loved you.  You were simply irresistable...

Kindergarten and all the accompanying giggles and "new friends" was a wonderful and scary time for me.  To see you blossom and go out and start to make your way in the world was great, but terrified that no teacher, no babysitter, no one could ever take care of you the way your Mommy did....a very difficult time.  Then the years just flew, and before you knew it, you had a baby brother.  Life was sweet, for a time, but even when it wasn't, you were a wonderful child to have, and I will ALWAYS cherish every single moment of your life, of our life together.  We overcame what we had to, you continued to grow sweeter and more beautiful *in my eyes if no others*  Grade school seemed to be the calmest, and easiest for you, but once you hit high school, things became difficult beyond compare.  But thru it all, I was there for you, and I won't stop being there for you.  Some laugh and call me a "Mother Lion" and yes, that's true, but in reality, I think all Mothers should feel this way towards their children, even though sadly they don't.

As you are now into your young adult years, and have encountered adult struggles that make those childhood problems seem silly now even though I assure you that at the time you did NOT think they were, I see you growing in ways that impress me beyond the Mother/Daughter bond.  You are achieving some excellent qualities that took me almost til my 40th year to achieve, and the pride I feel for you grows deeper and deeper with each passing day.  I hope that I am around for many, many more years, to see the joys you encounter along the way, to help strengthen and support you when the hard times come, and most of all, to enjoy and cherish you not only as a daughter, but as a friend.  You are a wonderful, beautiful woman Kim, and I want you to know that you have given me so much in life, I would not be the person I am if I had not had someone as precious as you in my life.  How appropriate that the day I brought you home I also celebrated my very first "Mothers Day". 

I dedicate this to you Kim, to all the good times, all the hard times, all the bumps and bruises and tears, to all the broken hearts over those dumb boys, all the homework, fights with girlfriends, all the joy at achieving moments, and I just want to thank you for being who you are.  Perfect?  I think not, but I wouldn't want to have anyone other than you for a daughter....I love you for who you are, and I always will.  Happy Birthday darling daughter, may you have many, many happy years ahead, filled with Love, happiness, health, and wonderful memories.  I will always love you.  Mom