The stupidest thing about Christianity

The tenet of Christianity it this-
You must believe in Jesus. You must believe he died on the cross for your sins and accept that sacrifice.
But, what if you don't believe? What if everything in you tells you it's a lie? Can you force yourself to believe?
The answer to that is a resounding NO!
I was a Christian from the time I was a child because it was what I was taught as a child. I was even in the ministry. But , once I began to educate myself about the bible, it's origins, history, pagan religions there was no way I could believe.
But I hated losing my faith. All my friends were Christian and I didn't want to lose them too. So for nine years I tried to convince myself, that despite my mountain of doubt that it was true.
I prayed like a mad woman and studied the bible continually. And everyday ,the bible it's self convinced me more and more it was not true.
A person can not make themselves believe and no one else can make them believe either. Belief is not a choice. You either do or don't.To say you choose to believe is ludicrous.
But Christians say if you don't believe, you will burn in hell for eternity because you were unable to make yourself believe...even if you wanted to, tried too, but couldn't!
Is this what a just God would require? That you must force yourself to believe when it can't be done?
You can say I love Jesus I believe in Jesus all day long for forever but if you don't you just don't.
Only a face to face meeting with "God" could change my mind now, I simply I know too much.
And remember this oh "Christian nation", there was a time when most everyone believed the world was flat but there was one man who dared to dream otherwise and in the end , he was right!