friends
- I read this and wonder that he might be stalking or whatever because he just doesn't know how to handle women, he may very well be insecure and fears losing her, because he might've not had many women before or he might depend on the idea that they're together. I'm with you that he certainly shouldn't try to possess her (or feel betrayed by her living her own life), but I doubt he's doing all this just to control someone - I can imagine him being an emotional guy basically reacting/ doing what he can to hold onto something. I can imagine him maybe using the court system to get revenge on her because he may feel too that she's been unfair on him regardless of whether she actually has. No doubt he's going about it the wrong way; that's precisely why it needs sorting and he needs to clean his act - but y'know there's 2 sides to every story and if he isn't true evil out with the intent to just hurt people, I fear (some of it) it could be a terrible, terrible misunderstanding. I don't want him to go on and even worse things happen.
My friend has a very good job and this guy makes much less money. Because I have been closely involved I can tell you this...he was looking for a "sugar momma". He is wanting "alimony". He wanted to "play" and not work (after they were married) and let her support them. They have no children.
He bragged (while they were together) about his friend who did that very thing to his wife and said 'she deserved it".
Trust me...this guy is a genuine creep.
Also I'm curious about where 'love' comes into this, because it seems to be a central topic - like if he's terrorrising her because of some sort of feeling anyway - something that's motivating him to do this. Working out what that is might be a step to unravelling the whole thing - he might leave her alone if you can calm him down/ settle his fears or something maybe - if so, consider it a service to your friend
He is a social "wanna be" and he needs to be stopped.
This is really sad, but I am glad Grace, that you are stepping up to the plate and saying what needs to be said to random douchebags like this guy. Now, if we could only guarantee their selective perception will waver when they read something like this...
And this guy is a nut. He acts like Eddie Haskel on "Leave to Beaver". Way over the top polite, working his way into your 'good graces, complimenting, questioning" , all the while gathering info to use against you later.
I think he's watching all her friends, trying to find out every move she makes.
I can't say everything because he's keeping an eye on me too. But he doesn't scare me...he just pisses me off .
I think any able bodied, young man with a degree should be ashamed to ask for alimony. They have no kids and were only married a couple of years.
Like I said 'he's a loser'.
oh, and while she was in jail my parents let him visit her instead of them [they would only allow one visitor] he kept telling them complete and total lies about her. He told them that she had forged other checks, amonst other things.
man, i want to beat that guy within an inch of his life.
oh... and one year on my birthday [7th?] my sister got in a wreck b/c her steering wheel locked up while she was driving [obviously not her fault, right?] well, he refused to accept that, and my parents had to drive 5 hours to their place to threaten him so he's ephing leave her alone. My dad would've actually beat the shit out of him for hitting her, but she wouldn't let him. :-(
some people just don't realize when a relationship is bad for them, so they stick with it much longer than they should have. [i'm guilty of that, too]
whoops, this kinda turned into a rant, which was not really my intention.
I have watched my friend go through hell over this crap and I know the pain some assholes can cause.
This guy is scary. I don't trust him at all. He's not only terrorizing my friend but starting to mess with her friends and family too.
The real 'pisser" is the courts allow these guys to drain women through court costs. She has paid $25,00 so far and their divorce hasn't gone to court yet.
It's all about power and money with him.
Hope your sister is doing better now!
and my sister isn't really doing better. She's just so... depressed. He's pretty much destroyed any spirit/willpower she had to begin with. She can't go to law school now, which has been a dream of hers for several years, so she's stuck being his secretary [he's a lawyer], taking care of his children [his two daughters, as much as i hate to say this about people that i've known and cared about pretty much all my life, are pretty horrible people. The oldest beat up her little sister b/c she was pregnant.... made her miscarry, after she [the oldest] had two kids in high school. The oldest also got my oldest nephew [my sister's oldest kid of her own] into drugs. I kinda fucking hate that damn bitch.]
i just wish that my sister would believe in herself enough to take the kids and leave him. But, it's almost impossible to raise 4 kids on your own, especially when you have nowhere to live and can't get a decent job because you've been in jail for fraud. Not to mention she usually takes care of her step-daughter's two daughters.
bah, so complicated.
but, i will say, that i'm very proud of your friend for getting out of that relationship. I know how hard that is. ANd i'm also proud of you [and her other friends] for sticking by her in the rough times. You're an awesome friend ^_^
but i do like to blame him for some of my relationship problems, he did a mind fuck on me. We dated off and on [mostly off] for 2 1/2 years [ish], and i pretty much thought of myself as worse than the scum of the earth. Eventually [after he had sex with me while i was begging for him to stop and leave me alone] i decided that he might not be good for me. Yeah... but he did convince me to go to a shrink.... i honestly don't think he realized how... horrible... he was.
She's got such a huge heart, such an awesome aura..she glows, just radiates love and sunshine. Funny her nickname is that of a fairy, I think she just may be,lol.
This guy, her ex 'man'...he's alot like my ex's. It's so great when they're fun, quirky, adventurous and outdoorsy..very masculine and somewhat sensitive..and then the paper is sealed, and out pops the psycho evil clown donkey, replete with money grubbing claws and mental hoodoo to send ya spiraling down. She's worth so much more than that. I applaud her, love her, and support her. Mom, you know how I see you guys - Sex in the City friends? Eat your hearts out. They ain't got nothin on these gals! Love you, mom - she's lucky to have you
And girls, please - I'm going to start a post on my blog here, please stop by and rant. I want to send her a link to it so she can see, she's never alone. It's a really common issue, that flip-side personality and all its demons. Please consider dropping by a word or two...or 300...lol!
Lilli
I'll be waiting for your "post" and you can be sure I'll drop by and have my say!
BTW>>she's lucky to have you too sweetie!
