They Like This Crap?!

There was this niggling thought in the back of my head that said, "Remember me? Remember me?" When Huzband suggested we eat at a nearby chinese all-you-can-eat buffet place. I firmly put the voice out of my head, since it is a rare treat when Huzband suggests chinese food.Once there I saw that all of the food was hot, and the pans were full; not cold-to-luke-warm and half-to-all-gone. I was overjoyed. I gobbled up 1 1/2 plates of food, a big pot of hot tea, and went to see what kind of ice cream there was. There looked to be some rocky-road, and some vanilla, but there was this mesmerizing technicolor option that I found my hand, connected to the ice cream scoop being attracted to. One scoop in that teeny-tiny bowl and I was back at my table.Huzband came back from getting his Rocky-road and looked at my two-bites-in rainbow-like ice cream."It's a mint-chocolate chip, rainbow sherbert, raspberry and vanilla mix." I said past clenched lips (used deftly to protect my teeth from the cold). Once I swallowed, I supposed outloud that the people that worked at this restaurant must take all the almost empty ice cream buckets and combine them, since I had never seen (or tasted) an ice cream such as this.Huzband laughed and asked, "You never get much luck here, do you?"It was then that I remembered what that little voice was trying to remind me.The last time we went, I had decided for dessert I was going to have the fruit salad. It appeared to be made with apples and raisins, bananas and cool whip. When I took a bite of it, Huzband gaffawed at the look on my face. Someone made the fruit salad with mayonnaise!I mean, my god, who makes fruit salad with mayonnaise!?! I ejected the mouthful back onto my plate. No demur napkin-hiding for me. Just flat out opening my mouth and letting the disgusting contents drop from my mouth. (Beautiful, huh?)I can just picture the chinese cook mixing together the ingrediants for fruit salad. Instead of using COOL Whip, he used MIRACLE Whip. While making it there must've been an incredulous look upon his face that said, "Do you believe these Americans? They like this crap?!"