Interview With Dr. John

In a small, obviously amateurish interviewing room, two milk crates create a makeshift coffee table which holds a plastic fern and crudely hides a borrowed community cable access channel mic from the viewers eyes. The vague outlines of Manet and Klimt prints can be seen on the shadowed walls as the light from the lone adjustable table lamp is angled towards the interviewer and interviewee.In a kitchen chair with a homemade coverlet, sits Dr. John while the humble interviewer sits across from him in a folding chair, dressed in black slacks and a red sweater.Nomad: "Johnalism.com is more fun than puppy puree." -this is a sample of what you will find at Johnalism.com. Sitting across from me is Dr. John of the aforementioned Johnalism.com and of Johnalism.MindSay.com fame. He is in the process of establishing himself as an internet phenom and as a MindSay fixture he's well on his way.We've been granted an interview, so let's begin!Hello Dr. John. How are you?Dr. John: At this point I'm doing just fine. I'd enjoy a little more sleep than I've allowed myself the past few days, but I can't complain too much.Nomad: Is the lack of sleep related to your quest for celebrity status?Dr. John: If by that you mean that I've put off doing my homework for far too long, then yes.Nomad: Why did you decide to accept my interview request? Please be honest...Dr. John: I really needed the $20 (laughs at his own joke). I actually am trying to set up a series of interviews to help spread the word about my efforts to become an Internet icon of sorts. A major celebrity and a top dog at MindSay to be more specific.Nomad: Because the light is so dim in here, please describe what you are wearing...Dr. John: Well, I try to always dress in a manner appropriate for the situation, but I'm not big on the suit and tie. I'm sporting the t-shirt-and-pants look right now. It seems to match the relaxed atmosphere. And let's not forget the slipper socks. I think slipper socks are underrated as footwear.Nomad: Very chic! (laughs) I appreciate a man who knows which footwear is appropriate. I think I'll kick off my shoes too. (Does so and awkwardly curls up in folding chair.)Nomad: Why do you want to become an internet celebrity?Dr. John: I have always tried to convince myself that I'm a special person. That I have talent if I could just somehow market it properly. So, in part, this is an attempt to market my writing to a large audience and let fans, if I get any, convince me that I wasn't wrong about myself. I also like to know that people do pay attention to what I have to say and benefit from it.Nomad: Where did you get the idea?Dr. John: I think at some point most people daydream about being famous. So, the idea of trying to be popular has probably been embedded for a long time. The specific idea for Internet Celebrity might not have come from, but certainly benefited from, a weblog alliance formed by a guy named Frank J. He established an alliance of blogs to take on Instapundit.com and try to get some traffic for the little man. I decided I'm a little man that would like to be bigger, and utilizing MindSay to get my work read coupled with the blog alliance got the ball rolling here. It also didn't hurt that I had several creative ideas when I first started Johnalism here at MindSay, but knew I wouldn't be creative like that week in and week out. Trying to become a celebrity was a nice excuse to have content without having to be incredibly profound with everything I wrote. To pinpoint an exact inspiration is something I can't do at this point.Nomad: I think we‚ve all been in that situation: "What to post?" with the contradictory "I've got stuff to say!" How do you intend to accomplish this goal?Dr. John: The ball is already rolling toward the goal. I started by trying to get people interested in my blog and decided not to hesitate. I decided it was important to jump right in and get moving on establishing myself. I could have tried to sit back and slowly break into the MindSay community before trying to make a splash: but I liked MindSay so much that I decided instead of making one of those nice dives that doesn't kick up a splash: I wanted to cannonball in this time and really stir up the water.Nomad: Nice analogy!Dr. John: So, I got the people interested and I did that with some posts I thought were very good. From there I started marketing the celebrity idea and the Team Dr. John concept. Now that I have support from readers trying to help inflate my status the next step is to keep providing good content and to keep promoting myself. I hope to step into the MindSay mainstream and if they have another MindSay awards I'd like to have a strong performance there. Establishing myself as one of the big shots at MindSay is the next big step, and then it would be trying to establish myself as a big shot on the entire Internet. And by big shot I don't mean a showoff: I simply mean I want to be a household name when you think of Internet writers.Nomad: So where are you in the process at this point?Dr. John: I'm still in the early phases, obviously. The fan base can still stand to grow some and word of mouth will be a big help. In a sense we're still on the ground level especially with organizing all the Johnaholics, but the progress Team Dr. John is making is solid.Nomad: Have you noticed any change of status yet?Dr. John: The change I've noticed is that people actually are getting behind this campaign. That is exciting. Johnalism.com had and has readers, but they haven't shown the support that the Johnaholics at MindSay have shown. That obviously makes a person feel important. It also seems that I am respected here, which I don't know if it's because I've subtly demanded respect in the entire process or if they really like my work. Confidence certainly comes into play, and I have tried to project a confident image: an attitude that says "I believe I can do this and I'm going to pursue that." This seemingly has people responding positively and thinking "Hey, he's not kidding." People are taking me seriously and really getting behind this effort but they're also having fun with the campaign and that's important too. I enjoy having fun even when I'm working hard.Nomad: I must admit, when I first read your entry about becoming famous, I thought you were joking. I now realize how serious you are. Have you noticed any changes in yourself?Dr. John: I have really enjoyed the campaign so far. The response has made my self-confidence rise even higher, believe it or not that is possible, and I have really been able to relax and enjoy things. I don't know if the relaxation qualifies as a change: but I certainly have noticed that I've been able to enjoy working with the Johnaholics.Now onto some fun things-Nomad: You have been quoted as being an Arby's Roast Beef eater and enjoyer.If you were approached by McDonald's or Burger King would you leave Arby'sin the dust?Dr. John: I'm open at this point to signing a deal with any fast food chain. If McDonald's or Burger King come with the right offer I would gladly do some advertisements for them. I do enjoy the Arby's roast beef, but I go to McDonald's and Burger King with more frequency.Nomad: What *is* your favorite fastfood meal?Dr. John: That's difficult to answer. I can say my favorite promotion is when Arby's does their 5 for $5 roast beef promotions, and they recently did have one of those. I also would like to tackle a Grande Meal at Taco Bell by myself but we'll see if that ever happens. I like the classic Whopper value meal at Burger King and I enjoy buying two or three double cheeseburgers off the McDonald's dollar menu. McDonald's at this point has the best dollar menu of the fast food chains, in my opinion.Nomad: It sounds like your a fan of thrift. Would that be safe to say?Dr. John: That's absolutely safe to say. I bought my last three pairs of shoes from Wal-Mart if that tells you anything. I've also never paid for my date in my life: I try to conserve my money and I don't generally like wasting stuff.Nomad: Unrelated... Please tell us three of your favorite websites.Dr. John:1.) Homestarrunner.com. The Strong Bad E-mails are a staple for me. I reference them with friends on a regular basis. It goes beyond the e-mails though. The site has funny stuff throughout.2.) Johnalism.com. Yeah yeah yeah, I like my own Web site. I have spent a lot of hours there and I have met some interesting people through it. I also became a public figure on Marshall University's campus because I'm apparently a controversial person.3.) MindSay. And I'm not just saying that because I'm trying to win over a large fan base at MindSay. When my friend Jesse first introduced me to MindSay I had my doubts and avoided it. I'm glad I finally took his advice, and the rest of course is history in the making.I also have to mention Yahoo Mail. I use e-mail a lot, and Yahoo is a great provider of free mail. Someday they'll be glad I said that about them.Nomad: (Nodding and singing to self) "If you're trying to phase me then you must smoke crack. Oh yeah, like that, heart attack!" I like Homestarrunner.com too!(Clears throat) What would you say are three of you favorite entries on Johnalism.com? (Whispered) Please link.Dr. John: This is like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. I will say I do like my article "The African Bush Man" available in the Johnalism.com "Religion" section or at http://www.geocities.com/johnalism1/bushman.html.Nomad: What are the three things you most admire in people?Dr. John:1.) Intelligence. I guess a better way to phrase this is the ability to make a coherent point.2.) Sense of humor. Not just laughing at my jokes, but being humorous yourself.3.) Morals. I like to see people who have a strong moral code. For some reason morals are being left behind and sometimes people with morals are looked at as the bad people. I don't like that. I respect when people have strong morals.Nomad: What do you admire in yourself?Dr. John: I like to think that I'm a creative person. I'm also proud of the fact that I do have, or at least attempt to have, a strong sense of morals and a moral code I try to adhere to.Nomad: Where do you think you developed that?Dr. John: My parents reared me well. That's really something I never stopped to realize until recent years, but I owe a lot of my success to my good, God-fearing parents. They did a great job with their parenting. Nomad: Do you have any pets, and if so, what kind?Dr. John: I grew up on a farm so there were always animals around. Chickens, dogs, cats, goats. As for specific pets I could call my own: I've had a cat, a few pet goats and I had a guinea pig. I was very fond of the guinea pig, but she passed away several years ago.Nomad: That's always hard...the death of a pet. I've lost a few, too.Dr. John: Yeah, it really is sad to see a pet you're attached to die. It does happen though, and having been around animals all my life it's just one of those things. It's sad, but there's nothing you can do to change it.Nomad: True, very true... Changing the subject: What do you do in your spare time?Dr. John: I spend so much time on the Internet in what would probably be considered "spare time" that I almost have to define going to class as what I do in my spare time. I put in several hours on the net in the average weekday. Outside of that I like spending time with my friends, playing the old school PlayStation, running every once in awhile in hopes I'll eventually get back in road racing shape and being active at Church.Nomad: Favorite game, book, sport and bible verse? ;)Dr. John: I don't read too much these days, but beyond the obvious response of The Bible I really liked the Indian in the Cupboard books when I was a kid. I also read a book my freshman year of high school about Johnny Cash that was incredible. I forget the title of that book though.My favorite sport to participate in is distance running. My favorite spectator sport other than women's softball is probably college football. I'm also a big Chicago Cubs fan so I like the baseball too.Favorite Bible verse is difficult because there are so many good ones. I can't pick a favorite, but I've been reading through Psalms and Proverbs and there are a lot of beautiful passages in those books. Every time you read through those books you can find something that is just simply beautiful to read.Hardball questions-Nomad: What is your party affiliation?Dr. John: I am a registered Republican but by no means do I vote straight ticket. It's probably easier to think of me as a conservative. I don't always tow the GOP party line, but I do tend to be more conservative than a lot of my peers.Nomad: On July 28, 2003, you said, and I quote, "THAT is a classic example of just how much your liberal tree-hugging hippie freak (enter insult here) losers really care about human rights." Referring to a post on a website where someone admitted to hoping that Saddam H.'s sons were still alive so they could hold that against George W. B. Has your opinion changed?Dr. John: Absolutely not. It's disgusting to know that a person would actually like to see people like the Hussein sons still around to terrorize Iraqis just so they have something they can hold against the President. If the Hussein boys were still alive and on the loose they could be torturing Iraqis right now. But, apparently some people wouldn't mind making that trade just so they can toss criticism at our president. That is downright appalling.Nomad: How would you respond to some people's assertions (namely mine) that what you said was an over-generalization and offensive?Dr. John: Well, first of all I should applaud you for really doing your research. I've really been fascinated recently by people really digging through Johnalism.com and finding things I've written long ago hoping they can find something I might want to take back.I would then say that there are a few ways you can look at the statement I made. One is to consider the fact that writers generalize constantly. Such is inevitable. So, you could excuse a blanket statement by realizing that it is simply a generalization and not meant to be applied to every last such person.But you suggested it was an over-generalization so let's address that. I have to say I don't think there was an over-generalization there. I was very specific in who I was talking about. I was referring to liberal, tree-hugging, hippy freak losers. That isn't too general, and would narrow things down to a very specific type of person. In fact, if you want to get very technical, I would guesstimate that liberal tree-hugging hippy freak (enter insult here) losers would make up a very very very miniscule part of the population.But, for the extremely left leaning types that despise our President so much that they wish the Hussein sons were still alive so they could use their existence to criticize him, I don't regret those statements. Just because I couldn't at that moment come up with a more political correct way to identify people holding what I consider a VERY extreme, disturbing view doesn't mean I can't express my disappointment with such lines of thinking.Nomad: All good points...Back to normal-Nomad: What do you plan on doing once you achieve fame/infamy or celebrity status?Dr. John: Basically I would carry out "retirement" plans years in advance. Enjoy life mainly. Do those things I'd love to do if I didn't have to worry about doing a job to get by. Relax, help people, give more to the Church, donate to worthy causes. Enjoying life and giving back would be the main things, but I don't know how much actual changing that would be.Nomad: How can people get a piece of you? (To write, buy, question or witness the phenomena known as Johnalism.)Dr. John: Anybody who wants to write can find my information on the blog. I'll save you the time and say my e-mail address is john@johnalism.com. You can get some Johnalism.com merchandise at http://www.cafeshops.com/johnalismNomad: Any other comments?Dr. John: Be sure to check out the Weapons of Mass Destruction t-shirt in the store. I designed it myself!Thank you for joining us, I am Nomad aka Purple. We have just interviewed Dr. John, the next Paris Hilton and Strong Bad combined.G'Night!The light is flicked off, and the two sit semi-awkwardly until the light comes back up and they can shake hands and converse over some coffee-"Grumble"-cakes. (Strong Bad reference.)