cold
> Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Nebraska...
>
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
> you live in Nebraska.
LOL true the local small town dinner that acts like the Dairy Queen closes from Sept. to May. Dairy Queen actually stays open year round:P
>
> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they
> don't work there, you live in Nebraska.
Yep, I have accepted help from non Home Depot employees and both hubby and I have given help to other customers. Fucking Home Depot employees like to disappear on ya!
>
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
> Nebraska.
Awww yes.....see my staple of clothing goes from tanks, shorts and flip flops to jeans, shorts, and flip flops.....and if I ever go outside and stay outside then mayhap i put my winter coat on. But then again hubby has a few pictures of me in my shorts, flips and sweat shirts. Which is usually more along the lines of what you see in NE:D
>
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
> dialed a wrong number, you live in Nebraska.
Nope, never done this. But my grandmothers have! I have had this happen to me in TX.
>
> If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of GRAND ISLAND for the
> weekend, you live in Nebraska.
Actually that is more for the Central Nebraskans, if you live in the eastern parts of Nebraska it is if you go south or north of Omaha, you live in Nebraska:P
>
> If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in
> Nebraska.
For the farmers, now for the plan rednecks we measure in how far we are from the hiway, nearest neighbor, and or farm to market road:P
>
> If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you
> live in Nebraska.
I hate to say this......I do know several people who have hit a cow more then once. But not nearly as many people that have hit a deer more than once. NE has a huge deer population. But All you southern's MUST take a hunter's safety course before coming up during Deer season and realize that not all private property is open to hunt. You might end up trying to hunt on someone's property like my family's. You don't leave you get a gun turned on your ass......and if that doesn't deter you......we will let you go and call county sheriff and have your truck and belongs towed to our property and when you come looking for it we get to claim your deer:D
>
> If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
> again, you live in Nebraska.
Yes again this does happen! And my hubby is the King of doing this. But forgive him.....he is an iowan! Everyone I know from NE doesn't do that stupid of a thing of wasting gas or electricity!
>
> If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
> blizzard without flinching, you live in Nebraska.
And again these are the Iowan's that come into NE to work, visit family, or going to another state. Anyone stupid enough to drive that fast during a blizzard and thinks they are going to make it out alive is an idiot thus meaning they are from Iowa the land of non driving Idiots out Wondering Around!
>
> If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
> leave both unlocked, you live in Nebraska.
LMAO yes again this does happen and we were one of them. If your stupid enough to try and steal from a Nebraskan then it is your own fault that your taking on the pack of animals that we dub pets and the women of the household who is holding a gun, butcher knife, or corn knife on your ass......while hubby is sneaking around back with the other gun and one of the kids is calling the county sheriff going.......well Sheriff I think you need to get here fast cause mom and dad have the idiot in their sights! The lights are for the critters who think they have the right to make your porch or garden home:P
>
> If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use
> them, you live in Nebraska.
They act like knowing how to use jumper cables is a bad thing.
> Spend a winter in Nebraska and they'll be asking someone to teach
> them how to use them. And another thing.....Nebraskan women are taught the how to take care of their vechiles from engines to body upkeep. If men outside of NE can't handle that best go back south where you came from:P Cause most Midwest women are self sufficent:P
>
> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
> snowsuit, you live in Nebraska.
And one must not forget how to design the said Halloween costume to fit over a pair of shorts and tanks either!
>
> If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going 90 and
> everybody is passing you, you live in Nebraska.
That is about right!
>
> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
> filled with snow, you live in Nebraska.
Depends on where ya live in NE and what road your talking about!
>
> If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter
> and road construction, you live in Nebraska.
Actually this needs to be changed up to the new seasons: Winter and Construction - Anymore NE road crews, building construction crews, and farmers work all the time!
>
> If you have more hours on your snow blower than miles on your
> car, you live in Nebraska.
You only have a snow blower if you live in the city or town. You live country then you have a tractor or you wait for your neighbor to dig you out. And if you dont' have a close neighbor you have a 4 Wheel Drive Truck and you continually go back and forth on your drive packing down the snow!
>
> If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Nebraska.
Again this is correct. Many folks in NE don't get bent out of shape when it hits the 32 degree mark......or even the 20 degree mark or even the 10 degree mark. Football and such will continue. We get a lil bent out of shape at -10 and below degrees because that means pipes are def going to freeze and we can't send the dayum kids outside unless we want them frost bitten
>
> If you understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
> Nebraska friends & others, you actually have lived in Nebraska.
>
