nothing, but the worst

to feel nothing has to be one of the worst fates any man can endure.  if you feel no love or joy then there is no hope and if you don't feel guilt or pain then there is no way of knowing what is wrong and there fore no way of mending what ever problem is there.  the only thing you can know when you feel nothing is that something is wrong because we are made to feel emotions and if everything were alright then we would feel them.  the next worst thing in this area is bordom.  bordom is the effect of a single repeting pattern and the only reason that it is a level up from feeling nothing is because when your bored you can still feel it when you do something wrong.  so how do most people deal with bordom? they do something bad like drugs because it is a change and they are desperate for change.  after doing this a while you start to not feel the guilt and pain and when this life style continues it leads to further till you feel nothing... but it stoped the bordom for a time... was it worth it?  when i do something bad i know it and try to stop, some times i make it and some times i don't but i think that fear of becoming that emotionless being is one thing that keeps me from doing drugs and the likes, i want to feel love, i want to enjoy life and most of all i want to feel God's presence when i know that i have honoured him and if i sin then i can't... and it kills me to feel sperated from him...

 

(james 2:14-20)