storyMassive Angst Manifesting ITself As a Green Fairy
by
narodnikkki
This is a story about a young man attempting to write a story. What kind of story the young man is trying to write nobody knows except the tiny little green twinkling fairy hovering beside him right at this exact moment. The young man's name is, well, he does not want you to know. He's looking at me right now and telling me to please not bother him and could you stop talking to whoever it is that you are talking with. It creeps me out man. Okay, I reply. But secretly I switch to my telepathic mode and thats why we are still able to have this conversation right now. This young man we are talking about right now is wearing only shorts. He is sitting on his chair and struggling to write something on the blank sheet of paper in his typewriter which is in his study table. Tack, tack, tack, the prehistoric machinery goes. Why he's still writing using a typewriter in this age of ultra-thin laptops is something of an enigma, a peculiarity unique to himself. I have only met this young man a week ago. We are roommates in this dormitory for male undergraduates in this university somewhere in southeast asia.
Where we are is this three by nine meter room where there is no airconditioning and not even an electric fan. Every night it gets so hot that even the walls they sigh and sweat. There is nothing to do but try to sleep in your bed and wait for dawn to come where it is cooler. I look right and the wall clock on the door says its ten in the evening. It's ten in the evening and my roommate is still at it, click clacking. I however am conversing with you using my amazing telepathic abilities and with this special ability of mine he does not know that I am telling you that I really hate the way the fairy is looking at me right now. Hey, maybe fairies can read minds, maybe it is reading my thoughts right now, wa wa wa this is to certify that the quick brown fox jumped on the...all work and no play makes jack a pretty dull boy.
Oh my god, it can really actually read my mind. Besides that it can also talk to me telepathically. It's saying I will kill you at exactly ten fifteen this night. Well, I reply, fuck you stupid green fairy, me and my buddy right here (meaning you) will, using our mind energy kill you first. And then we concentrate really hard, we close our eyes and visualize this evil killer fairy being crushed by our psionic powers. There it is now, yes floating and we try to crush it and then we open our eyes and then oh no, shit it's still alive. It's still alive and it's smiling now and in its right hand it is holding a huge knife. A huge knife which is about a foot long. I take out my tape measure quickly, my heart racing now, and measure the knife. Yes, it is exactly a foot long. Twelve inches I mutter to myself as I quickly return the tape measure to its rightful place inside the second drawer of my study table. The fairy is hurtling at me now with the knife and oh my god it's coming..but then a knock on the door.
I open the door and at the door is our neigbour, known only through his alias in our corridor as The Homosexual. The Homosexual says in a voice filled with lust and longing, hey guys what are you doing this night, wanna come to my room and play poker with me. The Homosexual is not wearing anything at all except for a red lipstick smudge on his lips. Me and my roommate and the fairy (which is invisible to The Homosexual) look at him and I finally say, Fuck You, get the hell out. And I slam the door on his nasty homosexual face.
The wall clock on the door falls to the floor and I see that its clock face says that it is ten thirty in the evening. I look at where the fairy was but it is not there. Frantically I search for the fairy but the tiny dumb insect is nowhere to be found. I feel something in my chest, I look down and fuck, there it is, the stupid knife is in my fucking chest. Embedded so deeply that only the wooden handle is visible, and oh the blood, my blood it's everywhere. On the floor. On my bed. On the door. On my books. How am I going to clean all this up? I will try to pull the knife. Okay, one, two, three. Dammit, I cant pull it out. I will try again, one, two, fuck it still won't come off. I notice something written on the handle. I lean my head and I see it spells...Excalibur. Damn you fairy, I shout out.
The End
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