When the Elements Attack!

When I it was time to pick up the kiddo today, I rushed out of the house so I wouldn't be late.  I looked over the horizon when I got to the main street and saw the darkest rain clouds I've ever seen looming above the kiddo's school.  As I waited in the parking lot, I prayed that we'd beat the storm. Alas, we didn't.  About two minutes before the bell rang the Heavens opened up.  I only had a small parasol that I got from the Houston International Festival to protect me from the buckets of rain falling on my head. The parasol was pretty much useless.  At least the kiddo was wearing her raincoat! The husband saw that it was raining cats and dogs and met us in the driveway with his ginormous umbrella and helped us get into the house. (awww :P)

When we got in the house and out of our wet clothes, the kiddo requested popcorn for her after school snack.  She doesn't like microwaved popcorn, she likes for me to make it on the stove in a pot.  As the popcorn popped, it started to pop the top off of the pot.  Normally this isn't a big deal, but this time a couple of popped kernels fell on the burner and caught on fire!  I quickly covered the burner with the pot top and prayed for the fire to go out.  It seemed like it took forever! Then I started cursing the fire out (notice I went from praying to cussin'). "Just fucking die already! Will you hurry up and lose oxygen you shittin' ass fire!"  Finally the fire went out and the kitchen filled with smoke.  The kiddo stared at me in amazement and I realized I must have looked like a lunatic standing in the kitchen in my underwear cursing out a fire.

Oh yes, before any snarky jackass decides to tell me that fire and water aren't really elements, I'd like to say "Duh! I know that! However, it made for a nice dramatic title."