For Christmas, my mother gave me a $100 dollar gift certificate to JC Penney's.  I decided yesterday would be good as a day as any to go shopping with it.  All of those good Post-Christmas sales were too tempting to pass up.  As I dutifully walked past all of the cute clothes in sizes that were not "plus" or "women's" size, I started feeling bad about being a fatty with a rubenesque figure.  I started hating the fact that in most stores the fat girl clothes are located in the back, as if they are saying,"You want clothes? Walk your fat ass back there and get them! You could use the exercise."  I also noticed that the petite clothing for women under 5'4" were all the way upstairs.  I guess if you're too short, then you are banished to the upper tier of the store.

Strengthening my resolve I walked to the section where the "plus-sized" clothes were located, and tried to ignore that negative voice in my head. I had $100 dollars to spend and I wasn't going to let anything put a damper on that.  I tried on a few shirts and lamented the fact that I had fat rolls and that my breast had appeared like they'd dropped at least another two inches.  Those dressing room mirrors are terribly unforgiving!  Feeling even more dejected I managed to find three shirts that looked less hideous. 

After my purchases were rung up, I left the store a little bit happier because I still had $37.00 left on my gift certificate.  I saw a sushi restaurant and decided to stop for lunch.  After all, a little sushi always makes me feel better. I think it's because it is such a colorful food.

There weren't many people in the restaurant and the atmosphere was very calming.  I stared at the beautiful salt-water fish  in the fish tank and giggled at the irony of a fish tank being in the front of a sushi bar. Soft jazz music played in the background and a spirit of contentment came over me. I came to a very important epiphany then: my New Year's resolution will be to love my body no matter how it looks. After all, it is much easier to take care of something that you love isn't it?

I'm so tired of how we women hate ourselves because our bodies aren't what we believe is perfect.  No matter what other blessings we have in our lives, we are more apt to spend more time hating our bodies than appreciating all of the things our bodies have done for us. We focus on it's outter appearance, yet we never thank our bodies for the fact that our hearts are still beating and we are still taking breaths.  I have asthma, yet I should thank my lungs everyday for doing the best they can to provide the necessary oxygen I need to function.  I should look at my hips and ass and see that their shape came from my grandmother and her grandmother.  They are a part of my heredity and they identify me as belonging to my family.

My stomach may have many rolls, but it is my stomach. The stretch marks came from me carrying a precious child who has given me joy. These arms that I've cruely refered to as "wings" are the arms my child nestles in for comfort. She doesn't look at them with disgust, so why should I? These thighs though marred with cellulite help me walk, dance and skip. Why should I hate them? 

Ladies, why is it that a quick glance at ourselves at a bad angle in a reflective surface is enough to send us into a depression for an entire day or even a week or more? Why are we so hard on ourselves, yet we don't mind physical imperfections in our men? Often, we even come to love our significant other's Buddha bellies and love handles.  We need to learn how to love ourselves and our bodies. We can not get physically healthy if we are mentally unhealthy. When we learn to love our bodies, then we will want to take care of them.  We will also be less likely to hold ourselves up to unrealistic expectations of our bodies.

Tonight, I pledge to love my body. I will love it's imperfections and I will appreciate the things that it helps me do everyday.