9-11-2001

The kiddo was only five weeks old and I was dealing with postpartum ambivalence.  Basically I hadn't bonded with my baby.  Since I had been taking care of babies or have been around babies since I was six years old, the routine of taking care of the kiddo wasn't overwhelming.  In fact it was just rote. 

Since it was the week before I was supposed to start back to work, I had been sending her to daycare since the previous week so I could get used to the routine.  However, for some reason we both slept late that day and when I realized it was a little after 8:30 in the morning CST, I jumped up and immediately started getting ready to go through the rote routine of getting my daughter ready for daycare. 

When we got in the car, I heard that a plane had crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. I thought, "Gosh, that's terrible!", but I kept on driving.  Then the radio said the South Tower had been hit and it is now believed that it was an attack on America. "No way! I thought." I just couldn't believe it so I kept on driving. When we got to the daycare, the teachers were waving people away telling them they were closed. They were frantically trying to call parents to pick up their children.  I finally snapped out of my haze and asked them if they wanted me to help call parents. I helped them for about 20 minutes all the while holding my baby.

When I got into my car I called my father to ask him what the in hell was going on.  He worked at  Ellington Air Force Base and managed the radar site. It was his job to make sure they were running properly.  When I couldn't get a hold of him I things were really bad.  He ended up having to spend the night at the site that day.

When the kiddo and I finally got home, I made sure I had the house secure and weapons within reach. I didn't put my child down for almost the entire day. My only thought was nobody was going to hurt my baby and I will kill to make sure they don't.  I remember I was dead serious about it, too.  I turned on the television and watched the horrific images and listened to the devastating reports of the event. I WILL NEVER FORGET.