relationships
Good relationships, the perfect partner and lifelong happiness are things we (should) put a lot of effort into finding before we settle on the dime store bargain of the week that looks good on the outside. We soon find that cheap is, as cheap does when we decide to take home that 'unbelievable find'. Reality check. You get what you pay for. Sounds like I am talking about prostitution, I know. Minds out of the gutter. Be serious now. If you are discriminating, hold true to your desires and values - sacraficing a few 'finds' here and there in order to be true to yourself in the end, you will save yourself a ton of time and a lof of heart.
1. Start young. Don't make the mistake of telling yourself that you are going to wait until you have your career and have lived a little/dated a lot before you settle into a lifetime committment. This is the biggest mistake people these days make. First of all, if you wait and date you are likely to carry with you a tremendous amount of baggage, pain and confusion that you would not have had when young. If you wait until you have lived a little, well, you have only managed to give yourself time to get set in your own ways and are now inflexible and unable to adapt to having someone else vastly different from you in your life on a consistent basis. And your career, well it may well take you in directions that would be difficult to wrap around a new person who has also done the same. You have just denined yourself a chance to grow with someone. Don't put off committing to someone who has your same goals and moral fiber before either of you know which direction life is going to take you. Be willing to go there together.
2. Live and let live. Sounds cliche, but this is one of the most important ingredients in a successful relationship. Instead of trying to define what someone should be, learn to accept who they are. Embrace the ways in which the two of you differ just as you do your similarities. Everyone is happier when they are loved for who they are but unfortunately, most people are guilty of loving the things they understand while trying to change those things they don't. Worst case senario, admit that there are things you don't understand or agree with, but as long as they truly are not a detriment to anyone just let it be. Allow your loved one to be the most natural self that they can be. This will eliminate so many disagreements, hurt feelings and ultimately 'small white lies' that snowball into unforgivable whoppers.
3. Forgive and forget. One thing will remain an eternal truth and it will never change. People are human. Humans make mistake. You will be disappointed from time to time. Your feelings will be hurt. Your trust may be broken. You are not perfect either. There is no one on the face of the earth, even you, who can honestly say that they are the perfect mate. Oh, you may want to believe you are - or want others to believe you are - but if you are wanting something to be real and last, get real with yourself first. Grudges and hurt feelings that we hold onto eat away like maggots on rotten meat. As soon as you realize you are imperfect and make allowances for everyone else to be human too, the sooner you will learn to move on past whatever is eating you. It was a moment. It was a thing. It was nothing. Don't retaliate and don't let the fact that you are not involved with an immortal God or Goddess hold you back from continuing to give your best to the one you have chosen. Stick it out. That's how our grandparents managed to stay married 75 years. They will tell you that it was not always a bed of roses but in the end, they have each other and they have always known they would. In the end, they are grateful for all the ups and the downs and they come to love and adore each other more in the golden years because of all the life they experienced together.
4. Two's company. We don't need to involve our parents, siblings, buddies, best friends or co-workers in our personal life. There is a reason that it is called a personal life. Whatever goes on in the confines of a relationship involves two people. Those on the outside are going to be biased, opinionated, judgemental and they are never going to be honest with you. They are going to tell you what they think you want and need to hear. Some may even give you advice to serve their own very selfish needs. But, I guarantee you no one is going to think before offering up their opinion of how much they care about you and how they can chose thier words to help you understand that your relationship is yours and worth saving. Need proof? Well, look at their relationship. Have they followed the advice they would give to you or are they still bitching about things that they should be keeping to themselves. Trust yourself, not someone else, when it comes to your life and happy ever after.
Then when everything is said and done. Sit together at the end of the day, and laugh at life. Share your days. Make love. Share love. Keep love.
